Back to school

Yesterday was the first day of school for my boys. Noah is now in 7th grade, and Eli is now in 5th grade. They are both at the same school this year, which makes things so convenient. They start and end school at the same time (last year, it was an hour apart), so I can drop them both off and pick them both up together.

As I establish a routine for this fall, I decided to establish a bedtime for myself in order to get more sleep. Since I get up at 6:00 with the kids, I'm going to go to bed at 10:00. And instead of watching TV before bed, I'm going to read for 30 minutes. Last night, I did just that--and this morning, I woke up without an alarm at 5:45.

The kids first day of school went really well yesterday. Eli was super excited, and Noah was super nervous, but they both had a great day. When I went to the school to pick up Eli (Noah had cross country practice after school), Noah was out there, too. He told me that he wants to quit cross country.

At first, I thought he was just being dramatic because it was so hot and humid outside, and he didn't want to run. But we talked a lot about it, and I learned that he really doesn't enjoy it. If he doesn't want to do it, I'm not going to make him do it--but I'm so sad that he doesn't like it! Noah and I don't have a lot of interests in common, and running was one thing that was relatable.

He did say that he'll continue to run three days a week, for about two miles each time, for some exercise. He said he enjoyed running when it wasn't for cross country; but running for the team made it less enjoyable (it doesn't help that practice is during the hottest time of day! Today, there was even a heat advisory from 12-8). He also said he likes racing, so I'll make sure to sign him up for a 5K every month or two. That way, he can still race, but train on his own.

I'd like him to choose another sport for school, so he's thinking about wrestling or soccer. I really hope he picks soccer! ;)

As part of my morning routine, I am getting dressed in my running clothes right when I wake up in the morning, and then run after I drop the kids off at school--before I have breakfast or do anything else. Yesterday, I came home and went for a short run (2.1 miles) outside. It was so humid and felt so difficult (it was my first run in a week) that I decided not to do the three miles I'd planned to.

Today, I dropped off the kids and went right to the rec center to run on the indoor track. At 7:00 am, it was already 74 degrees with 93% humidity! I really can't wait for fall weather. When I got to the rec center, I discovered that it felt just as hot and humid inside the building as it was outside, which was a bummer. But, since I was there, I did my run on the indoor track.

I listened to Another Mother Runner while I ran. At around mile 1.8, my knee started to hurt, which was odd. I haven't had any knee problems in a long time! The indoor track is so small (1/12 of a mile) that the constant turning to the left may have irritated my knee. So, once again, I cut the run short at two miles instead of three. I don't mind the short runs, though, as long as I am running 3+ days per week. When the weather gets more fall-like, I'll be more motivated to run more, too.

For the past couple of days, I've eaten breakfast while sitting on the front porch. We don't have a big porch (my dream house would have a huge wrap-around front porch!), so I just sat on the steps while eating my oatmeal. I have finally gotten off my Larabar kick (I was eating one for breakfast every day for about a year!) and decided to bring back oatmeal. For now, I'll eat it cold, but once it gets cold outside, maybe I'll do hot oats again.

Anyway, for my cold oats, I combined 40 grams of dry old-fashioned oats, 1/2 cup whole milk, 10 grams of chia seeds (to thicken), 1 Tbsp. brown sugar, and then a couple of add-ins. Yesterday, I added dried cranberries and coconut. (You can mix it the night before and refrigerate it, or just put it together about 10-15 minutes beforehand and let the chia seeds thicken it.)

It may not look that appealing, but it tastes really good! Today, I added raisins and cinnamon, which I liked even better. I used to do a peanut butter and chocolate version, so I'll have to try that again soon. I wrote a whole post about the different ways I eat oatmeal, which you can find here. The only change is really that I use regular milk now instead of almond milk. I also sweetened it with brown sugar, because I don't have any maple syrup right now, but you can use anything to sweeten it.

Well, I got a lot done yesterday (including a TON of vacation laundry), but I'm still super far behind on email. I'm sorry if you've written and have yet to get a response. Now that the kiddos are back in school, hopefully I can catch up on everything! :)

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Home again, home again, jiggety-jig

When I titled this, I chose the title because it's something my mom always used to say when we got back from vacation. I just looked it up on Google, to see if there was some sort of origin for the phrase, and apparently, it's from a nursery rhyme!

To market, to market, to buy a fat pig,
Home again, home again, jiggety-jig.

Anyway, we are home from vacation. Absolutely nothing went as planned, but we actually ended up having a really great time. We left home Thursday, so here is a brief rundown of our trip:

Thursday

LONGEST DRIVE EVER to Hershey, Pennsylvania. It took us 10.5 hours to get there. I have no idea how I ended up booking the hotel that I did (I booked it several months ago), but when we got there, it was clear that I hadn't read the Trip Advisor reviews. It smelled very musty, and it needed a good, deep cleaning (and updating). The first room we were in had mold growing on the air vent, so we asked to be switched. The second room was just as bad, except no mold. Thankfully, we were only staying there one night! (I'd paid in advance, otherwise we would have tried to go somewhere else).

We dropped off our bags, and then headed to Hershey's Chocolate World right away because it was already 5:30 pm. The kids wanted to do the "Create Your Own Candy Bar" event, so we chose to do that and the free tour. Jerry and I decided to create each other's candy bar without looking until it was being made, just to see how well we know each other.

For the Create Your Own Candy Bar, you use a digital screen to choose the type of chocolate you want, the things to mix in, and then whether you want sprinkles on top. Then, while it's being made (you watch it go down the conveyor), you use another screen to design the label for your bar. Jerry and I designed each other's label as well.

Designing their candy bars

My candy bar on the conveyor

For Jerry, I chose white chocolate with pretzels, cookie bits, and toffee bits, topped with milk chocolate and sprinkles. We started watching it go down the conveyor belt, so we could see what each other had picked. Jerry chose the EXACT same combo for me, only with milk chocolate instead of white chocolate! We thought it was hilarious, because we are way too much alike.

Create Your Own Candy Bar was more fun than I expected it to be. After that, we looked around the shop for a little bit (SO much candy!), and then we took the free tour (you ride on a little cart, which I think is supposed to represent a cacao bean) and see the chocolate making process. They gave us a little fun size Hershey bar when we were finished.

After that, we went to get some dinner, and then went back to the hotel. Thankfully, it was nearly time to sleep, so we didn't have to hang out at the hotel much at all! ;)

Friday
We got up early so that we could be on the road by 6:00 am. The drive from Hershey to Virginia Beach took longer than anticipated, because there were three accidents that held up traffic for a long time. We ended up getting there at around 1:00, and we checked into our hotel. Thankfully, the hotel was very nice and clean! (We stayed at the Holiday Inn North Beach). We had a great balcony overlooking the ocean and pool.

There was a lot of talk about a tropical storm coming, so we headed down to the beach right away, to hopefully get to walk the boardwalk before the storm came. It was overcast and a little breezy, but I love that weather, so I thought it was great. We walked the boardwalk, and then turned around and walked back along the edge of the water. Eli was trying to catch little sand crabs (and he actually did catch a few). Jerry and I were watching these little birds run along the water, trying to catching bugs or crabs from the sand. They reminded us of a recent Pixar short called "Piper" (from the Finding Dory movie).

Then we went back to the hotel and the kids went swimming in the pools (there were three--two outdoor, one indoor). Even though it wasn't ideal "beachy" type weather, I enjoyed a margarita while the kids played. (I brought several sundresses, but I didn't get to wear any of them! I wore my "comfy long-car-ride" clothes.)

They swam for a long time, and then we went to the hotel restaurant for dinner. After dinner, Jerry took the kids to the beach again while I met up with Jen and Angela, the producers of the From Fat to Finish Line documentary. I hadn't seen them since the Ragnar in 2013! It was fun to catch up. And sadly, I didn't think to take a photo. I actually didn't take very many photos at all throughout the weekend.

Friday night, the storm got really bad. It was CRAZY windy! The power at the hotel went out, but thankfully it came right back on.

Saturday
Saturday morning was the worst of the storm. We were amazed at the size of the waves in the ocean, and just how windy it was, so we decided to venture out to the boardwalk to get the full experience. We didn't stay out there long, but we walked a little of the boardwalk and briefly went down by the water to take a quick photo. We had to link arms when walking so that we didn't blow over--that's how strong the winds were!

Notice the palm tree that is knocked over

The outdoor pools were closed at the hotel, and there were SO many people in the indoor pool because of that. We decided to head to the aquarium. I was a little nervous about driving anywhere, because of the winds being so strong, but it was pretty interesting to see the effect of the storm. There were actually several porta potties on the streets (probably for the race) that were tipped over by the wind!

We spent a couple of hours at the aquarium. Eli was like our own personal guide, telling us the names of all the fish ;)

Then we went out for lunch before going back to the hotel. The kids went swimming in the indoor pool, but after that, we really weren't sure what to do. All of our plans had involved the beach! I asked Jerry if he might want to leave early, but the drive was so long getting there that I really didn't want to cut the trip short.

My friend Bonnie, from my Sole Mates Ragnar team, lives on the western side of Virginia. She had been hoping to drive to Virginia Beach for the weekend as well, but the weather wasn't exactly appealing. She'd been asking us to visit for a long time; so, I asked her if she might want some last minute company, and she was thrilled at the idea. We made plans to leave Virginia Beach on Sunday morning, and go to Bonnie's and stay there Sunday night. The kids really liked that idea, too, because Bonnie has a lot of pets and a river by her house where they could fish.

Saturday night, we went to the beach house where Jen and Angela were staying so that we could watch the documentary with them, and anyone else from the FFTFL community that wanted to. Rik and his wife, Cynthia, were there, as well as a few community members. They ordered pizza for everyone, and we chatted for a while, then watched the film. It was fun watching it with everyone, especially Jen and Rik, because they were part of the Ragnar team. We talked about a lot of the "behind the scenes" stuff and had some good laughs.

Sunday
We got up early again on Sunday, and were on the road by 6:00 to go to Bonnie's. Her house was a 5.5 hour drive from Virginia Beach, and 8.5 hours from my house, so it worked out really well. If we'd stayed in VB another night, we'd have a 13+ hour drive home on Monday; this way, we only had an 8.5 hour drive for Monday.

It was so exciting to see Bonnie! The last time I saw her was at our Sole Mates reunion in Indy in 2015. She was thrilled to have us there, and I finally got to meet her husband, Tim. Bonnie made us a fantastic lunch, and then we went to the river to go fishing. The boys fished while Bonnie and I caught up, and thankfully, Eli caught a fish! I knew it would make his whole weekend if he could catch one. (While I was yelling to Jerry to take a picture of Eli with his fish, Eli dropped it back in the water, so there is no picture.)

We spent the evening at Bonnie's, where Tim cooked amazing steaks on the grill for dinner. My kids loved playing with Bonnie's pets (she has two dogs and nine cats!). I wish we could have stayed longer, but the kids started school today (Tuesday), so we had to leave on Monday morning.

Monday
Another LONG car ride home. We got home at around 5:15, and I was exhausted. There is something about riding in a car that is so tiring, which makes no sense. My mom made us dinner, which was so nice! The last thing I wanted to do was cook. We had the kids get their stuff ready for school, and then headed to bed on the early side.

Even with the hotel in Hershey, the long car rides, and the tropical storm, we actually had a fantastic weekend! We spent some quality time together as a family, and I'm so happy I got to see Bonnie. Today starts the back-to-school routine, though, and I'm looking forward to it :)

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Family vacation in a tropical storm

Hello from Virginia Beach!

I will take the time to write a better post when I can, but I just wanted to share a couple of pics from the sunny beach ;)

Waves in the pool!

In case you missed it on the news, several parts on the east coast (including Virginia Beach) are under a tropical storm warning. Despite the weather, we've actually been having a lot of fun on this vacation so far! Yesterday, we walked on the boardwalk and along the ocean. It was cloudy, but that is my FAVORITE weather--I would choose overcast instead of sunny any day.

The calm before the storm (this was Friday afternoon)

This morning, we walked a small portion of the boardwalk, simply because we will likely never see something like this again. The waves are insane, and there was concern of the tide causing flooding, but that hasn't happened (yet). The worst of it just seems to be the wind. It wasn't windy yesterday, but today the winds are about 35 mph.

We're planning to go to the aquarium today, and the weather won't put a damper on that. Eli was really hoping to fish in the ocean, so unless the weather clears up, he won't be doing that--poor kid! I think the worst of the storm is supposed to be over with by this afternoon. I'm also hoping that they don't have to cancel the Rock 'n' Roll Half tomorrow. We're not running (Jerry's knee has really been bothering him, so he chose not to do it) but there will be a lot of disappointed people if it's canceled!

Anyway, I will write more later, but I just wanted to say hello from Virginia Beach :)

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It's Okay to Laugh

You may have noticed that I haven't been writing much lately. I promise it's not because I've been sitting in bed all day, bingeing on ice cream and Netflix (as lovely as that sounds!), haha. I've just really been enjoying the last little bits of summer, and I've been trying to make some fun memories with my kids.

I feel like with my recent epiphany about my summer weight gain, I also had a change of attitude with everything else. I want to really, truly, enjoy moments in my life that seem to be flying by. My kids, for example--can you believe they are 12 and 10 years old now?! For some reason, I've been very aware lately that they are just growing into little adults right before my eyes. And I'm not ready for that.

When I first started my blog, I loved writing every day. I loved taking and posting photos, too.

Looking back, though, I feel like I may have missed out on some things because I was too busy thinking that I had to take pictures, or what I was going to write about--sometimes, I think it's better to just make memories instead of making sure to have photos of those memories. Does that make sense? For the past few weeks, I've been trying to just make memories with the kids, and not worry about anything else.

I'm not ill, or dying--that I know of, anyway--I've just been thinking a lot lately about living in the moment and enjoying as much as I can. A few days ago, I even got a book that confirmed what I was thinking: "It's Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool, Too)"--a memoir by Nora McInerny Purmort (Amazon affiliate link). She lost a pregnancy, her father, and her husband within weeks of each other a couple of years ago, and this book encompasses all of her feelings and thoughts surrounding the punches that life threw at her. The structure of the book is unlike anything I've ever read before--it's not in any sort of predictable order, but more of a jumble of random thoughts or an organized journal of thoughts.

Yesterday, our power went out for seven hours, so I finished the entire book (some by flashlight). I loved it! It was very funny, sad, sarcastic, witty, and relatable. It also made me want to really savor every moment of my relationships with the people that I love.

At one point in the book, when she knows her husband is going to die (he had a stage IV malignant brain tumor), she mentions that she wishes she could insert a USB drive into him and just extract all of his memories and thoughts so she could keep them forever. All the details about all the stories he'd told her, memorialized.

After reading that, Jerry and I had a great conversation about childhood memories, and I really listened--not just to the main points of what he said, but to each and every detail. I hope that we have several more decades together, but if we don't, I don't want to feel like I could have listened more or spent more time with the family.

Anyway, all of that is to say that I haven't abandoned my blog--I'm just taking a little break. Once the boys are back in school, I'll take more time to write (I do enjoy having memories written down!).

Right now, Jerry is at the movies with the kids. They're seeing a superhero movie, which is definitely not my thing, so Jerry always takes them to those types of movies. They'd been looking forward to their "guy time" for a couple of weeks.

I've been working on our plans for Virginia Beach. It's a LONG drive to get there (12 hours), so we decided to stop about halfway there, in Hershey, Pennsylvania. The kids have always thought it would be so cool to go to Hershey, so we're just going to stay there for a night and then finish the drive to Virginia Beach. Eli is looking forward to going to an aquarium and fishing in the ocean; and Noah just wants to walk the boardwalk ;) It's fun to see what the kids get excited over! I'm excited to see some of my old Ragnar teammates, watch the From Fat to Finish Line documentary with them, and have a relaxing few days before school starts back up.

Speaking of Ragnar, the Another Mother Runner podcast that I was interviewed on is already up! The other podcasts I've been on had taken several weeks or months between the recording and airing, but AMR got that done so quickly. I haven't listened to it (I don't like to listen to myself talk), but if you'd like to listen, here is a link. Jen Roe was also interviewed, and she's hilarious (if you haven't already figured that out from watching the film).

I hope you are all enjoying your summer. Only a few more days until it's September!

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Summer running

Things have been getting very busy around here! Noah started cross country this week, so we've been getting up on the early side for his morning practices. It's a nice way to ease into the 6:00 wake-up times for the school year :)

His team meets at a local park for an hour, so rather than drop him off and pick him up after, I just stay and get in a run myself. I've kind of gotten away from heart rate training lately--not intentionally, but it's just been inconvenient. Renee asked me if I wanted to do a long run with her last Sunday, but she doesn't like to go slower than a 9:45 pace... I wasn't even sure if I could do that pace for six miles right now, in this humidity, so I did a little "trial" run a couple of days before.

I ran a 9:20 pace for just three miles, and it was rough! I told Renee I'd work on my speed a little, and then we could do some long runs together in the fall.

So, this week, I've been running in the "gray zone"--too fast for aerobic work, too slow for speed work--and I know better! But, I have to say, it feels kind of nice not worrying about my heart rate and just running. My pace has been roughly 9:15-9:45, and my heart rate has been about 155-160 bpm. (For aerobic work, it would ideally stay under 146 bpm; and for speed work, it would be over 164 bpm.)

In a few weeks, I'll return to a more formal running schedule, and get back to my heart rate training. Right now, though, I'm just running however I feel like when I'm out there. I've been talking to one of the other moms from Noah's cross country team, and she's super speedy. She does her easy runs at about an 8:00/mile pace! She ran with me for a little while yesterday, but I was gasping for air while she seemed like she was just going for a stroll in the park ;)

Today was incredibly humid, and I was just drenched when I finished. I only did three miles, but I looked like I just ran a marathon.

I had hoped I would continue to improve my cardio by doing the low heart rate training, but the improvement seemed to taper off a bit once I was at about a 10:00/mi pace (at a 146 bpm heart rate) in the spring. I'm sure the heat and humidity have played a big factor in that, so once it cools off, I'll be able to see if there was any improvement. I didn't put in too many miles this summer, though... typically 3-4 days a week, and just 3-4 miles at a time. I got in 61 miles in June, 68 miles in July, and 47 miles so far in August.

Someone asked me about how I was doing on the Summer Running Checklist... and I have been terrible about actually checking them off! I just went through my runs for the past month or so, and filled in the checklist where I could--I've checked off 21 of the 49 items. (My own "rule" was that each run could only count as ONE item on the list, so I can't check off several items on a single run). I'm going to try and finish at least 35 of the items before summer officially ends on September 22nd.

Coaching cross country is going really well. We have a great team, and now that this is Renee's and my second year coaching, we've gotten into a good routine. We practice three times a week: an easy/fun day, a distance day, and a speed work/hill work day. We spend the first 40 minutes or so on the focus of our practice, and then the last 20 minutes we spend playing a game (that involves running). I never imagined how much I would love coaching!

Yesterday, I was interviewed by Sarah and Dimity from the Another Mother Runner podcast. I was super nervous! It's a very popular podcast, and I've been listening to it a lot lately when I do my easy runs. They interviewed Jen and I about the documentary, and just running/weight loss in general. I'm not sure yet when it will air, but I will let you know when it does. Surprisingly, once I started chatting with them, all of my nerves went away and I felt very comfortable.

One more week until we leave for Virginia Beach!

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Winding down summer

Summer is winding down so quickly, and it seems like there is still so much to do before school starts! I've been trying to pack in some fun times with the kids before we head to Virginia Beach. They start school the day after we return home, so I've also been trying to get everything ready for that.

I can't even tell you how many times I've been fishing in the last month or two. Eli has been kind of obsessed with fishing lately, and even though I'm not a fan, I'm glad that he has such a big interest in an outdoor activity that doesn't involve modern technology ;)

He's actually been getting super creative by making his own lures! He keeps asking for odds and ends around the house (an aluminum can, staples, a wine cork, etc.).

Again, I love that he's taken such an interest, so I oblige his requests. Here is the first lure he made--he made this out an aluminum can, scissors, markers, and a hole punch.

He's actually been doing pretty well catching fish, too. When he's with me, I have no idea where the good fishing spots are (nor do I have a boat... or a clue about lures and bait), so he tends to catch little bluegill or other fish that I have no idea what they are; when he's with my dad, who is pretty much a pro, he catches perch and huge walleye.

Anyway, I've been planning a lot of little outings that involve a body of water of some sort so that Eli can get his fill of fishing. He's been counting down the days until we go to Virginia Beach, because he wants to fish in the ocean.

A couple of days ago, I met up with Emily, a reader of my blog. She lives on the western side of Michigan, but was going to be visiting her boyfriend on the eastern side over the weekend, so she asked if I would want to meet up. We went out for drinks on Saturday afternoon, and it was so fun! I always get so nervous to meet people (it's basically like a blind date--except she knows way too much about me from blog, and I knew nearly nothing about her! ha).

Yesterday, Jerry had his first day off in nearly a month! We wanted to do something fun with the boys, so we decided to go to Elizabeth Park, a nice park next to the lake where Jerry and I used to go frequently when we were dating. We brought Joey with us, and packed a picnic lunch. Yesterday was the first day we've had in a while that wasn't incredibly humid--the weather was GORGEOUS, and perfect for a picnic.

Unfortunately, about a minute after we'd pulled into the park, we got pulled over by the police. Jerry was driving 25 mph, and the speed limit was 15 mph. We had been pointing out a bridge to the kids that Jerry and I had photos taken on (back in 2000 or something), and didn't even realize we were speeding. Thankfully, the cop was nice enough to give us a verbal warning and not a ticket; he also gave each of the kids a little deputy badge sticker and told them to make sure that we drive the speed limit, haha.

Eli brought his fishing pole, of course, so he spent the afternoon trying to catch fish. Jerry and I were happy to just lie on our backs and look at the sky. The clouds were so perfect that the scene looked like a painting.

When we got home, we ended up doing yard work. We have a ton of gravel and dirt next to the driveway from when we built the garage two years ago, and it's been sitting there ever since, driving me crazy. Finally, I decided to start pulling weeds, and then Jerry grabbed a shovel and started moving the gravel to a low spot in the yard that floods when it rains. Eventually, we got the boys out there helping, too, so we had quite the production line going. I was pulling weeds, Jerry and Noah were digging up the gravel and wheeling it to Eli, who was spreading it in the yard.

As not-fun as it sounds, we actually had a really good time working on the yard together. It's still not done, but it looks much better already. Later, the kids went to my parents' house and Jerry and I sat in the garage and watched Making a Murderer. I know, we're the last ones on earth to watch it, but I tried watching it before and just couldn't get into it.

This morning, Noah had his first cross country practice. The team met at the State Park, so I decided to get in my run while I waited for his practice to get over (practice is an hour long, so it was a great time for me to run as well). It was super nice again this morning. I ran four miles at a 9:37/mi pace. That pace felt pretty tough! My average heart rate was 159 bpm, which is in that zone that doesn't really help out much--too slow for speed work, but too fast for aerobic.

I haven't been doing any speed work lately, mainly because it's been so humid that I just don't want to; and I can tell that I'm getting out of shape. I think after we get home from Virginia Beach, I'll start doing a little speed work to get back up to par with where I was a few months ago. For right now, though, it's been nice to just run easy and cut back on mileage. Hopefully that will make me excited to get back to training hard in the spring!

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Seven year weight loss anniversary

August 19th. To most people, it's just another date. This date is actually just as meaningful to me as my birthday, or wedding anniversary. On August 19, 2009, I got on the scale and saw 253 pounds on the display. I would like to say that I felt completely motivated to change my life, but, in fact, I was feeling drained and like, "Here we go again."

I can't even put a number on how many times I'd tried to lose weight before. I started "dieting" in fourth grade, and was pretty much either dieting or binge eating for the next 18 years or so. I really never even knew what it was like to eat "normally"--it was always one extreme or the other. Sometimes I was successful at losing weight before gaining it back, and sometimes not.

Still, I never ONCE lost weight and kept it off for more than a couple of weeks.

Which is why, when I stepped on the scale this day in 2009, I didn't feel like this time would be different somehow. I figured I would try for a few days, and then go back to my bad habits and continue watching my weight climb higher each year.

To this day, I really can't tell you what made this time different. I got on the scale a week later and saw that I'd lost eight pounds. That first week was SO CHALLENGING, however. When you first start losing weight, it's very easy to say that you'll just start over tomorrow. You haven't yet built up that streak of good habits, or seen a significant dip in the scale. You have to just want it badly enough to see it through until you DO see those changes. And that's the hardest part of all!

There is one thing that I consciously thought of when I started my weight loss this time around, however. I told myself that I would only make changes I was WILLING TO live with forever. I hated exercise, so I told myself I didn't have to do it. I wasn't willing to give up sweets, so I found a way to fit them into my diet. I wasn't willing to eat 1,200 calories a day for the rest of my life, or give up restaurant food, or carbs, or any other extreme measures... so I didn't.

Instead, I chose things that weren't so important to me, and made small changes. I cut calories where I could--I ate much smaller portions, focused on the healthier foods that I liked, and cut out some of the junk food that I really didn't care that much about (french fries, for example--they're okay, but I could take them or leave them). Instead of eating a whole pint of premium ice cream for dessert, I'd have a scoop of regular ice cream with some chocolate syrup and peanuts. I figured anywhere that I cut calories would help me to take the weight off, and I strove for doing it in the most painless way possible.

Lo and behold, it worked! I won't get into the rest of the story, because I've written it on my blog several times; but by August 19, 2010 (one year later), I was at a healthy BMI for the first time since the fourth grade!

Over the last six years, my weight has gone up and down several times, but I have kept off the majority of the weight ever since (I wrote in detail about this yesterday). Until I wrote yesterday post, I felt like I was always in limbo--just waiting to gain it all back. Each summer, I put on some weight, and then take it off in the fall and winter months; but before I start losing it, I always feel like I'm just going to continue gaining until I am back up to 253 pounds.

When I wrote yesterday's post, I feel like I finally accepted that the gains and losses are just a normal reality for me. Instead of fighting against it, I'll just go with it, knowing that I have the tools to get back to my comfortable goal weight. I always felt like I had to keep my weight in a very small range to be successful; but now, I believe that my body likes a bigger range, and I'm good with that.

Each of these photos was taken in August over the last seven years (except for my "before" photo, which was taken in May 2009). It blows my mind that it's been seven years!

Last year, I wrote my annual weight loss anniversary post, and I wrote this about going into year seven:

"Going into Year 7: I've gotten to the point where I'm not as interested in racing as I used to be, and I'd like to use running for fitness. My injury has flared up again, so I will continue to look for other ways to stay active. I just started calorie counting (instead of Weight Watchers) to see if changing that up will help me to stay motivated in getting back to my goal weight. I've accepted that I'm far from goal, and while I think I look okay now, I'd still like to get back to where I felt my best. (I'm going to reflect back on this in a year, so it will be interesting to see how Year 7 plays out!)"

For the most part, this remains pretty accurate! I'm still not that interested in racing, especially long distances. With the exception of my 10K training in the spring, I use running for fitness. I have stayed uninjured all year (woo hoo!). I calorie counted my weight back down to goal (and even beyond). I did not look for other ways to stay active, unfortunately--once I was able to run again, I sort of took off with it. But thankfully, I've stayed injury-free.

In addition to those goals, I also crushed my 10K PR in April, which was totally unexpected. I was even more surprised by that than I was by dropping 125 pounds in 2009-2010. It just seemed so impossible at the time (about 10 months ago).

On the difficult side of things, I also experienced depression this year that was worse than ever before. I thought I had gotten past it, but I had a couple of bad days this week. However, I found a counselor that I absolutely love, and she has helped me a lot in the short time I've been seeing her.

Going into Year 8: I'd like to continue with therapy to help with anxiety and depression, which will hopefully also help with emotional eating and binge eating. I'd like to continue to run for fitness, and maybe set one bigger running goal over the next year (likely, the Indy Mini in May). I'd like to calorie count through the fall to take off my "summer weight".

All-in-all, I feel like Year 7 was a success :) Each year that goes by that I'm healthy and I've remained active is a win. I've dealt with a lot of ups and downs through the last seven years (not only with weight, but with life situations as well) and I'm still kicking! I look forward to seeing what Year 8 has in store for me.

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Accepting the summer weight gain

A few weeks ago, I said that I would post a weigh in on August 19th--the anniversary of when I first started losing weight back in 2009. I'd hoped that I'd use those few weeks to lose some of the summer weight I gained, and I'd feel really good about getting on the scale.

Well, tomorrow is August 19th, and I haven't lost a single pound since then.

In fact, I've actually gained a few more pounds. Recently, my weight has been hovering between 139 and 141. Yes, Friends--that's over my goal weight (133), and nearly 20 pounds over my lowest weight from March! That's roughly a pound a week that I've picked up since March.

Jerry and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on Tuesday. When he got home from work, we decided to walk to the bar near our house with the kids, and on the way, I asked Noah to take a picture of us.

When I saw the picture, I was not happy--I almost wasn't even going to post it here, because I thought the extra weight was so noticeable...

I was thinking, "Ugh, everyone is going to look at this picture and think I'm a failure!" But you know what? I'm so tired of feeling apologetic for my weight fluctuations (not that anyone is expecting me to). Without comparing this photo to a photo from early this year, I'd say I look very "normal" and healthy here. The only thing about this photo that bothered me was the fact that I was comparing it to early this year, when I was at my lowest weight--my racing weight, when I was at the peak of my 10K training and in my best shape. Looking at this photo without any other reference, I'm happy with how I look!

I'm the first to admit that nobody is putting this pressure on me; I know that I'm doing it to myself. And it's time that I stop it! Maybe this is just part of MY "normal"--maybe MY normal is putting on some weight during the summer, and taking it off in the fall and winter. It's happened every year for the last six years! I always think that I need to work on fixing that for the next year, but maybe it's just the way my body works. My appetite is actually much higher in the summer than it is in the winter.

Anyway, I've been feeling so bad lately that I'm letting people down or something because I still haven't been able to keep from gaining weight in the summer--but today, I'm done feeling bad. My BMI is still good, I'm a normal and healthy size for my height, I'm active, and all of my health numbers are great. There is nothing for me to feel bad about! There are so many more important things to worry about.

I'm not saying that I'm "giving up"--I'm still going to work this fall to get back to my preferred weight of under 133, where I feel my best. And thankfully, I'm not too far over my goal this year! I should be able to do it in about 6-8 weeks.

This morning, I went to Kohl's to get a couple of dresses for Virginia Beach. Since I'm not going to be at my goal weight two weeks from now when we leave, I might as well feel good about the size I am now. I found two dresses that I am very happy with!

This pink one is my favorite--I think the color looks good with my hair (of course, I won't be wearing blue socks with it...). I also bought the striped dress you see in the background (each dress was only $14.40, by the way!)

Pretty much every summer, I end the season by vowing not to gain weight the following summer. "I'll learn my lesson from this summer", I say. But, I'm not going to declare that this year. I may be at my goal weight when I go to Indy in May, and run a great race. And maybe I'll put on 10 pounds over the summer of 2017. And then I'll lose it again in the fall. Is that such a bad thing? In my opinion, no :) I'm okay with that.

I always thought that I had to keep my weight fluctuations to a couple of pounds to be considered "successful" at weight loss--maybe five pounds at most. But for someone who has lost (and kept off) over 100 pounds for 6 years, having a greater weight fluctuation range isn't the end of the world. I am one of the roughly 5% of people who have lost a large amount of weight and kept it off! Maybe I'm not the "ideal" scenario, but it's clearly working for me. I just wish I had looked at it this way sooner, instead of feeling like I "failed" at the end of each summer.

I'm nervous about posting this--I always feel nervous when posting such personal stuff. I think it just makes me feel vulnerable, because I know that there will be people who disagree with my thoughts. But, I feel the need to post this because it's almost a relief for me. I'm showing that I'm not hiding anything, that I'm just ME--imperfect, but doing my best to be the best ME I can be.

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A week's catch-up

I didn't realize it had been so long since I wrote! I actually started this post on Friday... and then Saturday... and then Sunday... finally, I'm getting it posted on Monday. Jerry's been working a crazy schedule (crazier than usual, I mean) lately because of a special project at work, and it's been hard to adjust. I've also been stressing to the kids how important it is to limit their screen time (video games, iPads, etc)--so I'm trying not to be a hypocrite by being on the computer for several hours a day ;)

They go back to school just after Labor Day, which is coming up so quickly! We will be heading to Virginia Beach in just over two weeks, and Eli is so excited he can't stand it. In the spring, I remember feeling like it was going to be so easy to maintain my weight over the summer this year, before heading to Virginia Beach.

Ha! I gain weight every single summer, and this summer was no different. However, I am still a good 20 pounds less than I was last year at this time, so I'll consider that a win (or close to it, at least).

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We've had an incredibly humid summer, which makes for nasty running weather. This last week was especially bad--I ran Tuesday, and then not again until Sunday. It's times like this that I wish my treadmill was in the house (we moved it to the garage last year). The garage is more humid than outside! I'm hoping to get a new treadmill soon, and when I do, I'm putting it in the house. Meanwhile, I keep forgetting that I can run on the indoor track at the rec center.

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I finally ended up getting a hands-free leash so I can take Joey running with me and hopefully not get pulled all over the place. I was skeptical that it would work (I kept picturing that my spine would just snap in half if he took off after a squirrel or something). I took him to the state park and we ran a few miles with the new leash. I was amazed! It was SO much easier to run without holding a leash. I tried to get pictures, but it's hard to take selfies from a distance, so this was the best I could get:

The leash hooks around my waist like a belt

The black part has a bungee cord inside, so it stretches slightly

Of course, we made several stops so he could cool off in the lake

The best way I can describe it is like wearing a backpack--you know how carrying a couple of 10-pound dumbbells in your hands feels incredibly heavy, but if you were to carry them in a backpack on your back, you barely notice it? That's what it was like with the leash. When I hold a leash in my hand, and Joey pulls, it feels SO hard to pull back; but with the pulling distributed around my waist, it felt like a tiny puppy was pulling ;)

Anyway, this is the leash that I bought on Amazon. I'm really happy with it--the quality is great and I was very surprised at what a difference it made in running with Joey.

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I had a doctor's appointment last week for my annual physical. My lipid profile and blood sugar numbers are all good, as are my weight and blood pressure. Each year that goes by, I feel a sense of relief that I made it through another year without putting the weight back on. According to statistics, I should have gained back all the weight several years ago--so I feel a little sense of accomplishment each time I have a physical and my numbers are good.

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A reader named Lisa sent my family an amazing handmade memorial magnet for Chandler...

(We LOVE it, Lisa--thank you for thinking of us!) Lisa has an Etsy shop with some very cute dog tags, cat tags, and the memorial magnets, which you can check out here.

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Jerry's and my 13-year wedding anniversary is tomorrow. It's kind of hard to believe we've been married that long! We've been together for 17 years--HALF MY LIFE. That blows my mind. I bought Jerry 13 gifts for 13 years--normally, we don't do much for anniversaries, but he's been working so hard lately I wanted to do something nice for him.

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Cross country practice starts this evening. Renee and I are coaching third through fifth graders. Last year we coached second through fourth grade, but the middle school dropped the fifth graders from their program this year, so we decided to pick them up; and the second graders were a little young last year, so we figured third through fifth was perfect.

Tonight, we're going to do a one-mile time trial with the kids (see how fast they can complete one mile) because it's a great way to measure progress later on. We'll have them do the same trial once or twice more later in the season so we can see their improvement.

I'm thinking that I'll start doing my easy runs during practice while the kids are running--I'm not training for anything, so it's a good time to do that. Since we're doing the time trial today, I'll be timing the kids and won't be able to run; so, I headed out this morning for a 45-minute easy run.

The temperature was pretty low this morning--66 degrees at 7:00 am. I was looking forward to a nice, cool run! The humidity was 100%, so it didn't end up as nice as I'd hoped. I got drenched in sweat, but it was still much nicer than 88 degrees with 100% humidity, like last week ;)  I'm SO ready for fall weather!

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Future running plans

I can't tell you how different my mood is from just a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I'm back to the "normal me with mild depression" instead of the "me with a bad depressive episode". I don't think I've cried in several days--unless you count yesterday, when I cried from laughing so hard! (There was a post on Facebook that contained several pictures of kids and the funny things they did--I was wheezing from laughing so hard.)

Looking back at July, it almost feels like I was a totally different person for the entire month. I felt terrible (I even toned it down for the blog just how bad I felt, because nobody wants to read that kind of negativity). I felt like I would never get back to the normal me, and now here I am. I feel so relieved.

Yes, I picked up several pounds during the month of July, but I've been doing really well being back on track with calorie counting, so I don't feel too terrible about it. I wish I knew how to handle depression without using food, but that's always been my go-to for comfort. Hopefully, my new therapist can help me figure out better ways to deal, and if I go through another episode next summer, I'll be prepared!

I saw this running shirt by BrainStorm Gear a couple of days ago, and I just had to buy it:

It's like it was made just for me! They have some really awesome cycling jerseys, and it almost made me want to take up cycling just so I could get a Cookie Monster one--but not quite ;)

I've been thinking a lot about what to do as far as running goals go. I think this fall, I'm going to keep it very casual. I'll probably run a few races just for fun, and I'll follow some sort of training schedule to keep up with running; but I'm going to wait until spring to set another goal. And I've already been thinking about what it's going to be...

I'm going to run the Indy Mini again!

It's been five years since the last time I ran it--can you believe it? I walked that race in 2008, 2009, and 2010. The first half-marathon that I actually ran was the Indy Mini in 2011. And plans fell through in 2012, so I didn't get to go. I went to Indy with my Sole Mates last year, but I didn't get to do the race due to my stress fracture.

It has now been almost two years since I last ran a half-marathon, and I am ready to make the Indy Mini 2017 my comeback race :) I'm not sure yet what I plan to do as far as a time goal, but I'm thinking I might as well go big or go home--maybe I'll shoot for my sub-1:50! In 2013, sub-1:50 was a far off goal of mine. Based on my recent 10K race, I think with training, I can get back into shape for a 1:49 half-marathon.

BUT. May is still a long way off. Right now, running in the miserable humidity, I can't fathom doing speed work for a half-marathon. It's hard to get excited about a lofty time goal! We'll see how I feel about it in October or November, and then I'll decide for sure. The one thing I AM sure about, however, is that I'm going to run the Indy Mini in May.

I was kind of thinking it might be fun to have some sort of reader meet-up weekend... would that interest anyone? Anyone who wants to go could come hang out for a few days, and do the race on Saturday. We could do dinner at Buca di Beppo on Friday night (a tradition).

Anyway, if that would interest any of you, it's the weekend of May 5-7. The race itself is PERFECT for a first half-marathon--there are 35,000 runners/walkers. I walked it for three years, and there are SO many other walkers that I never felt embarrassed to be "just" walking (by the way, walking it made me so much more sore than running! It's HARD to walk 13.1 miles.) If you think you'd like to join me that weekend, send me an email so we can work out the details. If there is enough interest, we could even make a Facebook group to plan details, and maybe buddy up for hotels or something.

I've been running lately, but it's been too humid to really enjoy it! I ran three miles with Nathan on Friday. My plan was to run at his easy pace of about 8:45, but once we started running, the air was so thick that we both agreed to slow down. We ended up with a 9:12 pace, and even that felt kind of hard.

For the past few days, I've taken the kids to the State Park to fish while I run. There is a short loop (1.5 miles) where I can see the kids the whole way around, so it works out well. I just run two loops, which gives them enough time to fish for a little bit.

It's interesting how the heat and humidity affects my running pace. I still keep my heart rate under 146, and some days, that means a 10:15 pace (when it's rather cool and not humid); but other days, that means an 11:30 pace. Or, like last week, when we had a the air quality alert, my pace wound up being 12:18! In the winter, it'll probably be a 9:30-10:00 pace... all at the same heart rate.

Today, I ran at around noon, and that was a big mistake--I even wondered if I'd make all the way around the second loop. It was rough! When I was done, I sat down while the kids fished, and just tried to stop sweating.

When I got home, I looked up the weather to see what the humidity was, because that run had felt SO difficult. Turns out we had another air quality alert! I wish I'd thought to look that up beforehand, because I would have postponed my run. It's amazing just how much of a difference that makes in my running.

I took Joey to Lucky Puppy (his doggy daycare) today. It had been several months since the last time he went, but he was SO EXCITED when he realized where we were going. He never whines, but once we pulled into the driveway, he started whining in excitement. I'm sure he's having a blast today! ;)

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