National Weight Control Registry

Lately, I've been doing my runs later and later in the day. I used to practically roll out of bed and into my running shoes. I always liked to get it done first thing in the morning. Recently, I've been waking up, getting the kids ready for school and on the bus, then I eat breakfast, drink some tea, read e-mail, and eventually get in my run.

It actually makes the day pass really quickly when I run in the late morning, and I'm starting to feel like I don't have enough time to get everything done. I'm going to try and start running first thing in the morning again, so my day feels longer.

Today, I headed out for a four-miler at around 9:00 this morning. The high today was supposed to be 79, so I really wanted to get out there before it got too hot. I was actually really in the mood to run this morning, and I was considering doing my long run today instead of tomorrow. When I walked out the door, I wasn't sure if I was going to run 4 or 12 miles.

My goal (again) today was to keep my heart rate in Zone 3--70-80% of my maximum, 141-156 beats per minute. I ran at what felt like a very comfortable pace (just in case I decided to do my long run), and I was surprised at how quickly my heart rate went up. My first mile split was 9:07, and I was a little disappointed to see that. I had been doing my long runs at about an 8:45 pace, so 9:07 seemed slow for a short run.

But I really want to give this heart rate training a fair chance, just to experiment. My second mile was 9:06. That was the point where I had to decide whether to keep running or turn around. I realized at that moment that I forgot to put on sunscreen, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, so I decided to turn around. If I'd remembered the sunscreen, I probably would have done 12 today, because I felt really good.

During the third mile, it was actually pretty hard to keep my heart rate down. My mind would wander, so I'd forget and run faster; then I'd notice my heart rate was approaching Zone 4, so I would slow down again. My pace was going up and down the whole time. It's kind of interesting, because about a week ago, I was surprised how hard it was to get my heart rate up to Zone 4.

I really do think that the heat and sun make a difference in my effort. When it's hot out, or full-sun, my pace is always slower, even if I push just the same as usual. The further I ran, the higher my heart rate went, so I had to slow down to compensate. I'm curious to see what happens tomorrow on my long run.

Anyway, I felt fantastic throughout the whole run, and I'm guessing that's because I kept my heart rate in the right zone. Tomorrow, I'm going to set my Garmin to show only my heart rate zone, and not my pace, so it doesn't mess with my mind. It will be fun to look at the data when I get home. (Yes, I used "fun" and "data" in the same sentence--I love this geeky stuff!)

After my run, I went to the fruit/veggie market for some fresh produce. Jerry and I agreed that during our no-grocery-shopping-in-May challenge, we could still buy fresh fruit, vegetables, and milk (nothing else). We were down to onions and a couple of oranges this morning, so it was time to get some fresh stuff.

I was amazed at how much stuff I got for just $26! A bag of potatoes, 1 stalk of celery, 12 apples, 2 red bell peppers, 1 jalapeno pepper, 1 lb. baby carrots, 1 seedless cucumber, 2 zucchinis, 3 pounds of strawberries, 8 bananas, 5 pounds of grapes, and 1 seedless watermelon. At Kroger, my grapes alone are usually $10-$15.

The grapes were still the most expensive part. If I hadn't gotten those, my total would have only been $18. But I love keeping a big bag of grapes in the freezer for snacking. Now we just have to make sure that none of it goes to waste! ;)

This afternoon, I took a survey for the National Weight Control Registry. I'd been wanting to join ever since I technically qualified, but I've been scared to, because I was afraid that as soon as I submitted the paperwork, I'd gain back all the weight.

If you're not familiar, the NWCR is a long-term study of successful weight loss/maintenance. They study real people that have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year to find out their habits and see what makes them successful.

I always kind of had it in my mind that I would join when I was SURE that I was going to keep the weight off. And last month, I finally filled out the paperwork. I had to submit some basic info and proof of the weight loss (either doctor's records or photos). Today was the first survey I took, and it was interesting. It asked a lot about my eating habits and exercise habits, both now and when I was losing weight. You can read some cool facts about the study findings here.

So, I've made it "official"... which means I'm feeling very confident in keeping the weight off. Even if I wind up 10-15 pounds or so heavier over the years, I don't ever see myself getting back up to 253 pounds again.

 

Continue Reading...

Tea flavors

I'm so glad it's the start of a new Weight Watchers week for me. My weeks start on Wednesday (my weigh-in day), and I like starting a fresh week with a clean slate. After three days of being back on track, I hoped that the scale wouldn't reflect Saturday's binge. I was pretty happy when I stepped on!

I didn't post a weigh in last week because I posted Katie W.'s guest post. Two weeks ago, I was at 132, so I'm down half a pound from then. I'm very happy with that, because I had a couple of BAD eating days.

I'm almost back down to my "happy weight" of 131, so I'm going to stay in weight loss mode on Weight Watchers until I hit 131, then I'll switch back to maintenance. My main focus this week is just to stay binge-free. The first few weeks after a binge are really hard to stay on track.

This past week, I earned more activity PointsPlus than I've ever earned before--82! My goal was to reach 10 per day.

That gray line is my goal line (8 PP per day), and I reached it almost every day. On the days I run, it's not too hard to reach that line, but on my rest days, I have to find all kinds of reasons to move. 

Today was a rest day as far as running, but I definitely got in a workout.We had three yards of dirt delivered this morning to fill in the tire marks in our yard. The neighbors keep parking in our yard, which is SO annoying; so I passive-aggressively spread out the dirt and planted grass seed, and then staked it out so they get the hint that it's not a parking lot. And by "I", I mean Jerry.

I spent the entire morning pulling weeds, and picking up random sticks in the yard. I have a big blister on my palm from using the dandelion puller, but it kept me super busy. In the afternoon, I went to Kohl's to use up a gift card from Christmas. I got a pair of jeans for $8, and a cute lace top and cami for $12.

---

A few people have asked recently what flavors of David's Tea I really like. I'm always saying how much I love their tea, and I've ordered it three times now, so I've tried quite a few of them. Here is a list of what I've tried (all are black tea unless noted):

Red Velvet Cake
Glitter & Gold
Toasted Marshmallow
Movie Night (green tea)
Cookie Dough  (white tea)
Toasted Walnut (green tea)
Read My Lips
Bollywood Chai
Banana Dream Pie
Buttered Rum
Salted Caramel
Ceylon Star
Coffee Pu'erh (pu'erh tea--no idea what that is, or how to pronounce it)

Other than the green teas, I always drink my tea with 1/2 tsp. sugar and 1 Tbsp. fat-free half & half per cup. I think the cream and sugar make it taste more indulgent, and it only adds 17 calories per cup, so it's worth it to me.

What can I say? I like variety!

My very favorite flavor is the Red Velvet Cake. I wish I had a candle that smelled like that tea, because it's heavenly. It really does have the flavor of cake.

Also in my top three four would be Toasted Marshmallow, Glitter & Gold, and Read My Lips. If you like cloves, you will love Glitter & Gold. Read My Lips is perfect if you like mint and chocolate together. It's hard to describe the Toasted Marshmallow one, other than that I love it!

Movie Night sounded very strange to me when I read the ingredients, but it's really yummy. It kind of reminds me of buttered popcorn. Cookie Dough really does smell and taste like cookie dough, although it's a more subtle flavor than some of the others. I like strong flavor, so that's why it's not in my top four. Toasted Walnut was another subtle-flavored one. I enjoyed it, but I don't think I'd order it again.

Bollywood Chai is very fragrant and strong, like pretty much any chai. It would be delicious with lots of sugar and cream, like a typical chai would be served, but I thought it was pretty good how I drank it. If you like chai, you will enjoy this one.

Banana Dream Pie really does taste like I imagined it to. I'm normally not a banana-person, but I do like this one a lot. Buttered Rum is good; I can't think of much to say about that one. I thought I would love the Salted Caramel tea, but I didn't care too much for it. I was kind of turned off by the smell of it, but the tea itself is milder than the smell.

Ceylon Star is kind of a subtle flavor, but it's good. I have no idea what "Ceylon" means, so I don't know if the name describes the taste ;) Star Anise is one of the ingredients, so that could be it. It reminds me a little of the Toasted Marshmallow flavor.

The only one that I really disliked, and has been sitting in my cupboard unused since, is the Coffee Pu'erh. The description says that even die-hard coffee people will like this tea, so I thought maybe it would be a nice one to have when I crave coffee. I really disliked the smell of it, and it tastes exactly like it smells.

David's Tea sends free samples with each order, and those always suck me in! I taste it, love it, and then order it (which I'm sure they're betting on when they send samples).

I'm not affiliated with David's Tea in any way, and I don't get commission or anything if anyone buys it (unfortunately, because I talk it up all the time!). I did e-mail them to ask if they would let me give my readers a discount code, and they said no :(  Bummer. Sorry! I tried.

If any of you have tried any of David's Teas, feel free to weigh in with your thoughts on favorite flavors. I just saw that there is a Birthday Cake flavor, which you know is going in my cart next time!

Continue Reading...

Must keep busy

I've had a great couple of back-on-track days, mainly thanks to my sister (Jeanie) and brother-in-law (Shawn) being in town. On Sunday, Shawn and I drove to the running store, which is about 35 minutes away. He and Jeanie are running their first half-marathon on the 19th, so it was a good chance to chat about running.

When we got there, the store was closed! I guess I should have checked the hours, but it didn't even occur to me. Shawn needed a couple other things while we were out, so went to Best Buy and Dunham's before heading home. Spending the entire afternoon out and away from the house was just what I needed to stay on track. The afternoons are the worst time of day for me as far as binge triggers.

I got home later than planned, and was preparing to hurry up and make dinner before Jerry had to leave for work; but when I walked in the house, I smelled chili. Jerry had cooked lentil chili, so dinner was done already. I managed to make it through the evening without problems, and felt really good when I woke up that I had gotten right back on track after the binge on Saturday.

Yesterday, after I got the kids off to school and ate breakfast, I went out for a four-mile run. About a mile in, I stopped at my parents' house to see if Jeanie wanted to run with me, but she was still sleeping, so I finished out the run. As soon as I got home, I saw that she had sent me a text about 15 minutes prior, asking if I wanted to run three miles with her.

I was already sweaty and in my running clothes, so I said sure. We went to the State Park and ran the three-mile loop. It was a really nice run, and it made me think that I would probably actually enjoy running more if I wasn't focused on getting faster. We ran about a 12-minute/mile pace, and it was very comfortable and easy to have a conversation. I wouldn't mind doing that more often!

I came home and showered, and then Shawn and I went to the running store for his shoes. This time, we went to one in Toledo (about a 45 minute drive). As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, Shawn realized he forgot his wallet! Hahaha, thankfully, I had mine, so I lent him the money for his shoes.

We came back to my house and chatted for a while, and by that time, it was nearly 5:30--so again, I stayed so busy that I managed to make it through another binge-free afternoon. Jeanie and Shawn went home to Illinois last night, so I was on my own today.

I set up my Garmin to display my heart rate zone along with the beats per minute, so it's easier to see at a glance if my heart rate is where it should be while I'm running. My goal today was to keep it in Zone 3 for the whole run. It took about 1/4 mile to get it in the zone (I was going to write, "It didn't take long to get it up..." but then I re-read that and changed it for obvious reasons, haha).

About a mile in, I got a really sharp muscle cramp in my abdomen. I so badly wanted to walk, but I kept running, hoping it would go away. It lasted for the next two miles, which made for a miserable run. But finally, at mile three, it went away. The last mile was a little harder to stay consistent with my pace. I naturally tend to start running faster the closer I get to home, but that brought my heart rate up too high. Anyway, I was glad to be done.

---

The no-grocery-shopping-in-May thing is going well so far, but we're starting to have to get creative. Some of our "usual" foods have run out, so we have to make do with what we have. I made a loaf of bread today, and it turned out SO good. We used it to make BLT's for dinner. Can you believe that Jerry had never eaten a BLT before?! He really liked it.

I've been using my homemade English muffins to make mini pizzas for lunch, which has worked well to use up the feta cheese in the fridge. Last night, for a bedtime snack, the kids and I made Cook & Serve chocolate pudding. Eli had the idea to top it with peanut butter (my habits are definitely rubbing off on him!). Warm pudding with peanut butter was the perfect way to spend 5 PointsPlus.

I have a ton of pudding in the pantry, so I'll probably be eating that a lot this month. I'm thankful that I always have a stockpile of wine, so there is no chance I'll be running out of that for a while ;)  This no-shopping challenge has been fun so far! But we're only 7 days in, so we'll see how I feel about it at the end of the month when we're down to the bare bones of our pantry...

---

OH! This was in my daily Buzzfeed e-mail yesterday, and it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I burst out laughing with every one of these photos--if you have a cat, you MUST check out this post, The Best Of "First World Cat Problems". Here is one of them...

 So true.

Continue Reading...

Motivational Monday #14

Happy Motivational Monday! Thank you all so much for your nice comments on my last post. As hard as it was to write about, I knew you would make me feel better, and I do. I stayed extremely busy yesterday and today, which has helped me get right back on track and not dwell on it anymore.

And of course, reading all the Motivational Monday accomplishments always makes me feel ready to take on anything! ;)

---

Alison was spring cleaning when she came across this shirt she used to wear 80 pounds ago. You can see on the right how tight it was, and now it just hangs on her! She's training for a 5K, and has stuck with her goal of walking a mile every single day until her race.

---

Andrea ran her first 10K (and is now registered for a 15K!) after losing 90 pounds over the last year!

---

Bethany ran a 5K with her (5-year old!) daughter, finishing in 50 minutes! (Don't they look adorable in their tutus?)

---

Briana ran her first half-marathon! She had her husband at her side, and finished in 2:11. She's down 65 pounds and counting!

Recently, I asked if any of my readers would like my race bib for the Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini Marathon, since I wasn't able to go. I got an e-mail from Carolyn, who said she was a little nervous about it, but that she would love to do it. Her friend was already registered, so she thought it would be fun to meet up with her. And she did it! She finished in 2:16.  (Carolyn is on the left)

---

Christina rode her bike 100 miles as part of a fundraiser for Camp Kesem and World Bicycle Relief! She says, "The trick to riding that far? Just keep going. When I struggle, I say, 'Just keep spinning, just keep spinning,' like Dory from Finding Nemo."

---

In March 2012, Julie Anna made a goal to run a 5K with her mom and sister. They all ran together, and then this year, she and her mother made a goal to run a 10K together (her sister became pregnant, and had to stop running). They just ran their 10K, after Julie Anna's mom lost 33 pounds and became quite a strong runner throughout the past year! (Here is the race report) Julie Anna is super proud of her mom.

---

 Julie ran a 5K, and then accompanied her three-year old daughter on her first race--a kids fun run!

---

Kelly started running last summer by following the Couch to 5K program, and she just ran her first half-marathon! She was very worried about not finishing in the allotted time frame, and the race shutting down, but she surprised herself with just how well she did. She finished in 3:13:43. She says, "Running has become this amazing outlet for me to help calm my stress level, lose weight, increase myself esteem all of which makes me a better wife, mother, and employee"

 Linda started running almost a year ago to keep off the 25 pounds she'd lost. She ran her first 5K in October and has run one or two a month since then. Saturday, she ran the Komen for the Cure 5K, and it was a very rainy, cold race. She is proud that she powered through the first mile that was all uphill--she does all of her training on the treadmill, so she wasn't used to that. She ran the whole way, and felt great!

---

After losing a collective 175 pounds, Lindsay and her husband ran the Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini Marathon! She met her goal of sub-2:30, and her her husband finished in 2:01. Here is a before pic and a pic from the race:

---

Marcia (left) recently reconnected with high school friend Rosa via Facebook, after not seeing each other for 20 years. They discovered that they had each lost a lot of weight (Rosa lost 93 pounds, Maria lost 70). They also discovered that they had each signed up for the Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini Marathon, and were planning to go alone; so they decided to drive there together, and felt as if no time had passed. They both ran a great race and reached their goals!

---

Nicole and her husband, Ben, ran in the American Odyssey Relay (200 miles from Gettysburg to D.C.)!

---

And there are lots more to read on the Facebook post, so make sure you check it out! Here is a snippet:

Continue Reading...

237 Days

This is a really difficult post to write. I want to ignore it, and pretend it didn't happen, but I know that a lot of you enjoy reading my blog because of my honesty (particularly when I'm honest about difficult times through weight loss/maintenance).

I binged yesterday. I ruined my 237-day binge-free streak.

I'm trying really hard not to beat myself up about it, but I'm just so angry with myself and disappointed that I let it happen. It was like a perfect storm of events--my kids were spending the night with my parents, and Jerry had to work all night. Just before he left for work, we got in an argument, and then he had to leave. The argument was over something really stupid, and I knew he'd call me when he got to work and we'd apologize, and everything would be fine.

Instead, I just wanted to eat out of anger. You know that expression, "Don't cut off your nose to spite your face?" Well, I was mad at Jerry, and a binge almost felt like I was getting back at him somehow (which I know is stupid, because I'm the one that has to deal with the consequences). I'm not at all blaming the argument for the binge, because we've argued many times over the past 237 days, and I managed not to binge because of it.

Like I said, I'm trying to just let it be, and not beat myself up over it. I'm starting a new binge-free streak today, and I'm going to do my best to make it longer than 237 days. I got on the scale this morning, just like normal. I know that weighing every day isn't the best idea for everyone, but when I start to avoid the scale, my weight goes up FAST because it's so easy to ignore the consequences of poor eating. My weight was up to 136 today, which I know is mostly water weight, but it was still pretty sobering to see that number.

I know that if I get right back on track, I can be back down to 133 or so in a few days. Because I'm over my "panic weight" of 135, I switched my Weight Watchers settings to "weight loss mode" instead of maintenance. So now my daily PP target is 26 instead of 32. I'll keep it there until I get back down to about 131-132.

I'm really determined not to let yesterday's binge become a defining moment of gaining back the weight. I will not let it turn into another binge, or "just one more day" of bad eating. And, as much as I want to pretend it didn't happen, I'm not going to lie to myself either. It happened, it's over, and now I can go back to the norm.

---

This morning, the cats woke me up (wanting their breakfast) at 6:00, and I couldn't go back to sleep. Lately, I've been eating breakfast, drinking tea, checking e-mail, and some other stuff before running, but I had the urge to run first thing today. It was light outside already (the bonus to springtime), so I ran outside.

Today, I was going to try and get my heart rate to Zone 4 (156-172 bpm).

I figured this would be about an 8:30/mi pace. I was surprised just how difficult it was to get my heart rate up that high! My legs and lungs told me I was working hard, but my heart rate was right around 152-154 most of the run. This heart rate training is pretty interesting!

While I was running (and thinking), I had an "Aha!" moment. I always gain 15 or so pounds during the summer, and then manage to take it off again in the fall. I assumed this was because my kids were home, and constantly bored or bickering, which is stressful.

July 2012

But I realized that's not actually the reason I gain. I tend to gain in the spring, and then I just hold onto it all summer. And the reason for this (my "Aha!" moment) is that in the spring, when the weather gets nice, I get a very carefree attitude. The nice weather makes me want to hang out on the back deck, with a beer or margarita, go get ice cream with the family (or by myself!), snack on chips and dip all day, etc. It's pretty hard to work all of that into a daily diet, and I get frustrated with having to count everything I eat; so then I start to think, "Well, normal people do this stuff. Normal people don't have to count everything, or measure food. I can do that, too."

 But I don't take into account the fact that I'm NOT a "normal, average person". I've lost 120+ pounds, and I'm maintaining that loss--most "normal" people haven't done that. So I can't eat the same way they do and expect the same results. My body works differently. Through trial and error over the last few years, I've learned that I have to measure and count my food to maintain my weight. I've tried "intuitive eating", but it leads to binge eating every single time.

So this time, when I find myself thinking that I don't have to count PointsPlus (or calories or whatever), I'm going to keep all of this in mind. Maybe I will actually be able to maintain my goal weight this spring and summer. I would love to experience summertime at my goal weight!

---

The winner of the book giveaway "Honey, Do You Need A Ride?" by Jennifer Graham is:

Congrats Crystal! I've sent you an e-mail. Hope you enjoy the book :)

Continue Reading...

Food talk

A few days ago, Jerry and I decided to see if we could go the entire month of May without buying groceries. We have a ton of food in the pantry and freezer, and it would be nice to use some of it up. We agreed we could still buy milk and fresh fruits/veggies.

Yesterday, I ran out of English muffins (which I eat nearly every day), so I looked up a recipe for them online and made some. I used this recipe by Alton Brown, but instead of following his mixing instructions, I just put everything in my bread machine on the dough cycle. I didn't have shortening, so I used butter; and I used bread flour instead of all purpose. I didn't have any rings to pour the batter/dough into on the griddle, so I used aluminum foil to make some. They worked out really well!

It was hard to tell when to flip them, and you can see I flipped a couple of them too early, but the texture and flavor was fantastic. They have the little nooks and crannies that are characteristic of a good English muffin.. I am definitely going to continue making my own English muffins instead of buying them. These are really good, especially after toasting.

Last week, I stopped by this wholesale store that sells stuff from other stores that may have damaged packaging. You can buy dented boxes of cereal, or food that is close to it's sell by date, among other things, for pretty cheap. I like to stop in once in a while to see if there is anything good. Anyway, last week they had Fiber One products for 88 cents per box!

I know a lot of people can't stomach Fiber One stuff, but I love their Oats & Chocolate chewy bars and their Coconut Almond protein bars, so I picked up some of those. I also decided to try the chocolate chip cookie bars, the chocolate brownies, and the chocolate peanut butter brownies.

I've tried them over the past few days (each bar/brownie is only 2 PP), and I LOVE the cookies! I would definitely buy those again.

The brownies are just okay, but I don't think I'd buy them again. They reminded me of those Snackwell's devil's food cookies, which make me think of the old early-90's diet days. But the cookie bars are really good!

---

Ever since my Oscars party, when I made the red pepper and feta dip, I've been craving more roasted red peppers. I bought a couple of jars a while ago, and they've been sitting in my pantry, because I wasn't sure what to do with them.

My boys were at my parents' house today for dinner, so I made dinner for just Jerry and me, and decided to use the red peppers. I turned them into a pasta sauce, and the pasta dish was SO good. It was the perfect way to use them! I posted the recipe on my recipes blog, and you can find it here.

---

The mail just showed up with my latest David's Tea order--check out this flavor!! I'm super excited to try it :)

Continue Reading...

RECIPE: Roasted Red Pepper and Feta Pasta

I love the combination of roasted red peppers and feta cheese. I had a couple of jars of red peppers in my pantry, and some feta in my fridge, so I turned them into a simple, yummy sauce for pasta. Jerry and I both loved this dish! The red pepper flakes make it a little spicy, and it goes really well with the sweet roasted peppers. This is written for two main dish servings, but you could easily double it.

Here is a printer-friendly version!

Red Pepper & Feta Pasta

6 oz. dry pasta
2 tsp. olive oil
1 small onion, chopped fine
1 tsp. minced garlic
1 (12 oz) jar of roasted red peppers
1/4 cup heavy cream or half & half
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
2 oz. feta cheese

Cook pasta according to package directions. Meanwhile, heat oil in a small pot over medium heat. Add the onions and garlic, and cook until softened, a few minutes. Drain the roasted pepper and add them to the pot, along with the half and half.

Use an immersion blender to puree (or put everything in a food processor or blender, puree, and then put back in the pot). Add salt and pepper to taste, and the crushed red pepper flakes.

Let the pepper mixture simmer for a minute, and then stir in the feta cheese and cooked pasta, and toss to coat.  Makes 2 servings (approximately 1-1/4 cups per serving, depending on the shape of pasta used).

Continue Reading...

Kittens and ice cream and an evening stroll

So right after I posted about Eli losing his tooth a couple of days ago, he came into the living room just before bed and told me that his other bottom front tooth was wiggly. I wiggled it, and said, "Do you want me to try and pull this one, too?" He said yes, so I wiggled it kind of hard and heard a pop--then I just pulled it right out!

Eli has been wanting to lose his first tooth for a couple of YEARS now, and then he went and lost TWO teeth within a matter of hours. Now Noah is missing his top two teeth, and Eli is missing his bottom two.

When Eli went to school, he got his name on the tooth chart, which he was really excited about. The teacher has a chart to keep track of how many teeth each kid has lost, and Eli was the only one NOT on the chart.

---

Last night, my friend Sarah was on the news to share her story about having melanoma! May is National Skin Cancer Awareness Month, and I'm really glad that Sarah got to share her story. Like most people, she thought that it couldn't (or wouldn't) happen to her.

The lovely Sarah

Melanoma is the deadliest of skin cancers, and Sarah's started as what she thought was "just a mole" on her calf. It had spread to her lymph nodes before she was even diagnosed (she was diagnosed with stage 3C, which is pretty far along). She had to have a large part of her calf removed, as well as lymph nodes, and is just starting to walk again. Unfortunately, she's still not in the clear, however.

I ignorantly used to think of melanoma as "just skin cancer", and I had no idea how deadly it was until Sarah was diagnosed. Now I am extra cautious about being in the sun (I stay out of the sun as much as possible, and wear sunscreen when I run or have to be in the sun). Jerry had a couple of spots on his skin that were a little odd, and a couple of years ago, I would have just thought, "Oh, it's nothing." But after seeing what Sarah has gone through, I urged him to go to the dermatologist immediately, to get it checked out. Thankfully, his biopsies were normal.

This Monday is "Melanoma Monday", a day dedicated to raising awareness about melanoma. To show your support in raising awareness, the American Academy of Dermatology encourages everyone to wear orange on the first Monday in May (the 6th). On their website, you can also find a free skin cancer screening in your area, so there is no excuse not to get those spots checked out.

---

Today was my long run day, and after running outside yesterday, I decided to run on the treadmill today. I am not a baby about running in the cold, or the rain, or the snow--but I HATE running in the heat! Yesterday, it was 65 when I was running, which I know most people don't consider "hot", but to me it is. This morning, it was 67, and I decided to do the treadmill.

My sister sent me a text saying that she ran 11 miles this morning! She's running her first half-marathon in two weeks in Rockford, IL (any of my readers running there?). She just started running at the end of last year, in order to train for and run my Virtual 5K in January. I am so excited that she kept at it, and is up to 11 miles now!

After reading her text, I quit procrastinating and got on the treadmill. I decided to run through two full episodes of Sons of Anarchy, regardless of how far that was. I also decided to try and keep my heart rate below 145. For some reason, I was thinking 145 was my maximum for Zone 3--I later learned I was wrong ;)

This app is called HR Zones, free from Runner's Ally

After the whole run, my average pace was 9:00/mi, and I kept my heart rate below 145. It was kind of fun to focus more on my heart rate than on my pace. Now that I've completed my goal races, I feel like I need something else to focus on, so I think I may try heart rate training, just for something different. I would basically be doing the same type of running schedule I'm doing now, only trying to stay within certain heart rate zones (rather than certain paces) for each run.

For my long run treat, I decided to take the whole fam with me to a local dairy farm for ice cream after dinner. They make their own ice cream on site, and it's delicious! I got a single scoop (we'll pretend that she actually gave me a single, because, well, just look at the size of it!) of half Maple Nut and half Cake Batter ice cream. Mmmm, so good.

We looked around at the animals, and I realized that this is the best time of year to go to the farm--there were baby animals everywhere! The baby goats were the cutest things I'd ever seen. It was impossible to get a good picture of them, but see how tiny? They were smaller than my cats! And they were chasing around a chicken.

There were four kittens hanging out in the goat area, playing together. They were so adorable!

On the way home, I was feeling pretty full from the ice cream, and it was so nice outside, that I told Jerry to drop me off when we were three miles from home. He said he felt so guilty just stopping the car and letting me out, but I wanted to walk. The sun was setting and it was gorgeous!

I never really took note of just how fast I walk, but I've been using the Map My Walk app on my phone when I go out for a stroll, and I'm pretty fast! Today, my average pace was 13:13/mi. When I first started RUNNING, my pace wasn't even that fast. It's interesting to see how far I've come in just a few years' time. I would NEVER have asked Jerry to drop me off three miles from home, that's for sure!

Today was a great day--kittens and ice cream and an evening stroll. Now I'm going to complete it with a glass of red wine :)

Continue Reading...

Honey, Do You Need a Ride? (Book review and giveaway)

For someone who doesn't read much, I've been reading quite a bit lately--I actually accepted three different books for review, because they ALL sounded interesting to me. So this is the second one...

(When I received the book in the mail, I was a little stunned to see the cover--it looked like someone had stolen MY cover of a book I haven't even finished yet!) ;)

The book is titled "Honey, Do You Need a Ride? Confessions of a Fat Runner", and is written by Jennifer Graham. I have to admit, the title alone made me want to read it! I was a fat runner when I first started, so I thought it would be fun to read about someone else's point of view.

This book looked like it was made for me to read, so I was excited to get started. The book is light-hearted and funny, but Graham is very honest about some more serious issues, like her low self-esteem throughout her life. I enjoyed the little sarcastic or funny comments, and could definitely relate to the self-esteem issues.

One thing that surprised me right off the bat was that Graham calls herself a "fat runner" at 153 pounds (her weight bounces around from 150 ish to 200 ish, but I got the impression that she was around 180 for most of the book). The word "fat" is all relative to the individual. When I was 253 pounds, 153 was SKINNY. But to someone who has never been overweight, and maybe has weighed 110 her whole life, 153 would sound fat. It just depends on the person, and at the end of the book, Graham discusses this at length. She says she got a lot of flack on message boards for an article she'd written, calling herself a "fat runner"; but she's right, the book wouldn't have the same ring to it if it were called "Confessions of a Moderately Overweight Runner". 

I could relate to Graham in a lot of ways, both with the weight issues and the running; some serious issues and some humorous issues. On the serious side, Graham had low self-esteem, and when she would see a group of people laugh or whisper, she assumed they were laughing or whispering about her. On the humorous side, it was fun reading about her trial and error with clothing choices for running, because I went through it all, too. And she has some very entertaining stories of things she's experienced over the years of running.

I loved her analogy of there being three lines in a runner's mind--a starting line, a finish line, and the "Never-Going-Back-to-My-Old-Life" line. Once you cross that line, she writes, you won't stop running until you're "in jail, vegetative, or dead". I think this is very true! Running is addictive, but it takes crossing that line to get to the addiction. It took me about six months or so of regular running to cross that line. But now I feel like I'm a runner for life--I can't even imagine NOT running!

Throughout the book, Graham makes references to the stereotypical runner, which she calls a "Shirtless Wonder" (skinny and arrogant), and I thought it was a little insulting at first; but to be honest, I had those same thoughts when I first started running, too. I had a certain image in my head of what a runner was like (skinny and arrogant). I later learned that I was completely wrong about that--runners are some of the friendliest people I know! Graham realized it, too, and wrote that the problem wasn't with the runners, but with her--her insecurities, her attitude, her sensitivity.

The one part of the book I certainly could have done without was when Graham writes about her running coach, who is actually imaginary (an elite runner who died years ago). She has imaginary conversations with him, which I thought was a little corny, but thankfully, it wasn't a huge part of the book.

Graham lives in Boston, along the route of the Boston Marathon, and I read this book before the tragedy happened this year. I was thinking how much fun it would be to live there and watch the race from your own front yard. The fact that her street is part of the race route was a huge selling point to her when she moved there. She watches the race every year, and has a couple of great stories to tell about the race. When the bombing happened at this year's race, I immediately thought of Graham.

Graham with her pet donkeys (yes, donkeys!)

I wish I could write a simple summary of the plot of this book, but I'm not really sure I know how to describe what it's about. Basically, an average woman (mother of four) writes about her experiences as a middle-of-the-pack runner. She writes it in an entertaining and humorous way, and I would bet that most runners could relate to at least some of it. It was refreshing to read a book about running from this point of view, rather than an elite runner writing about improving your "slow" marathon time of 2:50 ;)

This book is a great read for someone who wants to run, but thinks it's just for skinny people, or fast people. Graham makes running seem desirable for everyone, no matter their weight or speed. If you're looking for motivation to get started, she definitely delivers. And if you're an experienced runner, you will still enjoy the entertaining stories she has to tell.

Hedges Virtual Book Tours is allowing me to give away a copy of "Honey, Do You Need a Ride? Confessions of a Fat Runner" to check out for yourself! To enter, just fill out the form with your name and e-mail address below. I will pick a winner (by random draw) on May 5th at 8:00 AM EST. (By the way, if you are a blogger and interested in reading books for review, there is a form on the website where you can apply).

Continue Reading...

Guest post by Katie W: "I Kept Running"

On Motivational Monday, when Katie posted a comment on Facebook about her recent 10K race, I just had to hear the whole story. I asked her to write a guest post, so she could share it with all of us. This is a pretty long post, but I didn't want to edit anything out, because I think that it tells a great story! Prepare to be inspired...

---

When Katie asked me if I’d be willing to write a race report for my first 10k, I immediately agreed. Just ask a couple of my students who witnessed me having a minor freak-out at my desk when I read the email. :)

As I write this I am lying in bed covered in IcyHot from the waist down and listening to my neighbor try his darndest to sing like Taylor Swift: “Weeeee….ah nebeh ebeh ebeh ebeh….getteeen bahck togetheh!” Let me give you a little background story on how I got here, because without it I can’t fully express what this 10k meant to me.

I have been heavy my entire life. However, I played year-round sports all through grade school, and I was pretty fit and strong for being as overweight as I was. In college I started dating a guy, but the relationship grew into emotionally abusive codependence pretty quickly.

I am a Christian, and looking back on that year I realize that I found my identity in being HIS girlfriend, not in Christ. I felt guilty all the time, and I turned to food for comfort to ease that guilt. My boyfriend, an ex-ROTC member, was alarmed by my weight gain, and tried to get me to run with him for a bit. However, running was literally my nightmare.

It made me come face to face with the fact that I had eaten myself to a point of physical exhaustion and sickness. I couldn’t keep up, I struggled to breathe, and his ROTC-drill sergeant encouragement tactics didn’t exactly make me feel inspired. Running meant frustration, failure, and fighting with him.

By the time we broke up one year later, I was nearly 100 pounds heavier and very much hated myself. The things he told me replayed in my head, “I don’t think you’re beautiful anymore,” “I thought if I loved you then you would lose weight and become the diamond in the rough. All the other guys would be jealous of me because I had you. But I guess I was wrong,” “I find you repulsive.”

Yeah…nice guy. And I believed him.

I left that relationship with a lot of scars (the most notable one being from a python bite…but that’s another story for another day). In the four years that followed I slowly went through the healing process, trying to ignore the lies he had told me and fighting a losing battle with my deeply entrenched emotional eating habits. During those four years I lost a grand total of seven pounds.

I graduated college in 2011, and eight days later I was on a plane and moving to Spain for my dream job: student development for a study abroad program in the enchanting city of Sevilla.

Living alone in a foreign country definitely led me to change my habits. Without a car, I adapted to walking everywhere or utilizing my citywide bike rental subscription. I started buying my own food from the fresh market across the street and learned how to make tasty local dishes with olive oil, lean meats, and lots of vegetables.

In my first year living abroad I eventually came to a wonderful revelation that has changed my entire life: I can’t always control my circumstances or what happens to me, but I can control and choose how I respond. I was tired of playing the victim, and I was going to choose to stop.

So I faced my fears and decided to prove to myself that I could do hard things. I started running and counting calories. Just now as I wrote that, I was quite tempted to put it in quotation marks, like this: I started “running.” But that’s not true.

The moment I ran, I was a runner.

Not a “runner,” not a faker. Even though it meant only running slowly for 30 seconds at a time and walking for five minutes, dreading the next 30 second round of running. Eventually, 30 seconds became 1 minute became 2 minutes became 4. I remember the first time I ran for 10 minutes without stopping and the first time I ran a mile, about four months after my first 30 second run.

I did a couple run/walk Color Run 5ks during my build-up to a mile, and one month after running my first mile I decided to do another 5k, setting the goal of running the entire thing.

Run the entire thing was exactly what I did. Now, I would like to be able to tell you that I felt like I flew through the entire thing without so much as thinking about stopping, that when I crossed the finish line I was crowned as “Best Runner” and handed a puppy and waved majestically as people cheered me on in my great personal victory.

What actually happened is that at 220 pounds I ran the entire thing very, VERY slowly (people power-walking were passing me), I wanted to stop every 10 seconds, I had no one in the crowd there to cheer for me, and after I crossed the finish line I threw up on a gypsy and was cursed in Romanian. True story.

Fast-forward a few months to February 2013. I was having a one-on-one with a student who brought up wanting to do a race, and I mentioned a 10k circuit that was coming up in April. And just like that, I started training for my first 10k. Six point freaking two miles.

The longest distance I had ever run at that point was the 5k race, and my weekly runs were averaging about 1.5 miles. So I got a little help from the internet and constructed a 10-week training plan. I worked up to about 3.5 miles, and then I got sick.

For two weeks I couldn’t run, and when I did start running again I was back down to 2.5 miles and still very slow. I managed to run the farthest I had ever run, which was 4 miles in one hour (see, told you I’m slow!) a couple weeks ago. And then race day arrived.

The morning of the race, I got dressed and hopped a bus to the other side of the city to the start line. I met up with a group of my students who were also doing the race. We warmed up and stretched together and then took our places in the starting mob of about 5,000 people. Some of the girls in my group are college athletes, and they went ahead to follow the 50:00 pacer. I stayed back as I knew I would be in the second half of the finishers for sure. Then we started the push forward.

Within the first two minutes everyone passed me. Literally EVERYONE. Including the poor folks who were in the porta-potties when the race started and came frantically barreling past me.

“Well,” I thought, “yay for self-esteem!” It was quite disheartening to realize that I would be running this race alone as the pack got further and further away, but I settled into the pace that I knew was good for me and that I could keep up until the finish. I kept reminding myself over and over that I hadn’t signed up for the race to beat anyone or to place but rather to prove to myself that I could do it.

And so I kept running.

Running alone, I pushed over to the side and followed the orange cones down the middle of the closed streets. Around the first km mark, I saw the final pace car creeping past me out of the corner of my eye. I thought about pushing harder to keep up with it, but I knew it would only exhaust me and keep me from accomplishing my goal. Besides, as a rule of thumb, I never race against anything with an engine. ;)

Then a couple minutes later, the police escort rolled slowly by on his motorcycle. Then one ambulance. Then another ambulance. And finally a city bus, used to pick up anyone who gave up in the middle of the race.

Two thoughts crossed my mind when that bus passed me. 1) There is no way on EARTH I am getting on that bus of my own will or volition. 2) Can’t give up now, because the only thing that can carry you to the finish line now is your own two feet! And so I kept running.

I passed a race volunteer, who clapped slowly and stared at me with pity as I came along about 5 minutes behind the rest of the racers. And then I started to cry. I sniffled and choked back tears and turned up my music really loud. I forced myself to stop crying because it was interfering with my breathing, and I had already come too far to let my own body quit on me.

I had just managed to calm myself down and find my rhythm again when a policeman on a motorcycle approached me and told me they were opening the roads back up, so I would have to run on the sidewalk. After he left I started crying again, and the cycle of calming myself down repeated itself.

But I kept running.

Traffic started to flow again, and I watched in dismay as they started picking up the cones marking the race route! I was angry. I had just as much right as everyone else who trained for and paid for this race to be able to do my best and finish it!

I understood that the roads could only stay closed for so long, but it felt as if they were sending me the message that because I was so slow I wasn’t worth it. That I wasn’t a real athlete or a real runner because I had been left in the dust. And I had to keep telling myself with every step that that simply wasn’t true. I couldn’t control what was happening to me, but I could choose to respond with one determined step after another.

And so I kept running, never stopping.

Eventually, there were no more cones and I relied on people standing on street corners to tell me which way the running mob of 5,000 people had gone before me. Most looked at me with expressions somewhere between confusion and pity. I ignored it.

Last summer I started running with music because I got tired of the rude comments and whispers of pity about the fat girl plodding along, and I wasn’t about to let people who have no investment in my life define it for me.

I kept running.

Around the 5k mark I came upon the water station…being torn down. Shortly thereafter, a race volunteer stopped me and asked me incredulously if I was in the race. I looked down at my bib and then up at him and said, “Yes.” He asked me, concerned, “Where is the ambulance? They should be right behind you!”

I told him that they had left me behind a long time ago, and promptly started to cry again. That sweet man called the impatient ambulance drivers a few choice names, and I felt so relieved that someone felt indignant for me. He told me to keep running while he made a phone call and that he would catch up. I did what he said, and I kept running.

A couple minutes later he was by my side and fell into step with me. He told me they weren’t going to send anyone back for me, but he would run with me until the finish line. And of course I started to cry again, touched by this kind stranger. We continued making light, sporadic conversation for a while, and then he turned to me and asked if I knew where the race route was. I told him no, and he admitted that he also had no idea where we were supposed to be going.

So we just kept running!

A bit later we saw some cones on a corner, so we ran to those. From there, we saw cones up ahead, but we also saw cones on the corner to our right. The man said that the sports center and the finish line were up ahead further and just to the right, so we continued straight. When we got to the next set of cones, the trail went cold, but he said that he was pretty sure the sports center was across the bridge to our right.

So we crossed the bridge and saw the sports center up ahead. As we reached the road to turn into the final leg of the race, I saw a horde of runners coming in…from the other direction. My heart sank when I realized that I had missed a loop of the course somewhere and that crossing the finish line now would mean not completing the entire race.

I said all this aloud, and my running buddy simply said, “Finish strong. You cross that finish line with the rest of them because you deserve it.” And then he stopped running and disappeared from my side into the crowd before I even had the chance to say thank you or give him a hug.

Frustrated, angry, exhausted, and emotionally drained, I joined in the crowd of runners headed towards the finish line. As I did the loop around the stadium track, I heard my students cheering for me, but I couldn’t accept it. After all, I hadn’t done the full race.

As I turned the afterburners on for the finish line I felt like Fat Amy from Pitch Perfect when she tells the girls to leave the burrito behind her ear and she says, “It fuels my hate fire.” I put every tear cried during that race into those last 20 meters. When I crossed the finish line, my students congratulated me, but I didn’t feel proud. I felt cheated. I felt robbed of the experience.

When I got home I calculated that I had run a little more than 8 of the 10 km. Later in the day I Skyped with one of my friends, and I told her that I felt like I wanted to find the race organizers and tell them my entire story of how I used to be hurt and broken. How I used to think I wasn’t beautiful or worth loving because I was too fat and I had made myself that way.

How God redeemed me from that and showed me that I am worth it and that I have been deeply loved all along. How in the past year I have learned to nourish my body, built rock-hard running legs, lost 48 pounds, and covered lots of miles that less than a year ago would have been impossible for me.

To tell the race organizers that I may be slow, but I am a runner. I put the same effort into my 3-mile long runs as a marathon runner puts into his or her 20-mile long runs. Even when I could have stopped, even when the odds were against me, even when I felt humiliated, and even when I could no longer see where to go, I KEPT RUNNING.

As I write this from my bed, the pungent smell of IcyHot filling up my bedroom, my Spanish neighbor is still belting out poor attempts at pronouncing American pop songs. I now realize that all the things I wanted to tell the race organizers are my true victories from this race.

A year ago, had I experienced a similar situation, I would have quit. I would have found a city bus and gone home ashamed and defeated. Back then I wouldn’t have understood that I was simply making the choice to quit and that I would have been able to choose to keep going.

I would be lying if I said that this race didn’t leave me with a bad taste in my mouth, but that doesn’t matter. I am proud that I finished and that I did so despite the challenges I faced and the embarrassment I felt at being left behind. Ultimately it doesn’t matter that I was the slowest of 5,000. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t get to run the full 10 km just because someone else didn’t think my slow self was worth waiting for.

Regardless of what happens to me or how slow I go, I know I am worth it, and I will make a choice. I will choose to keep running. And I hope you choose the same.

Katie Wiggins is a 25 year-old Michigan native living in Spain and working in the study abroad field. She enjoys running, cooking, traveling, eating tapas, reading, spending time with college students, and practicing the fine art of siesta in her hammock. Katie also has a weakness for puppies. And gentlemen, she’s single. ;) You can follow her crazy life between two countries on her blog Beautiful Things Out of Spanish Dust.

Continue Reading...