Weekend recap

I rarely have enough stuff going on in a weekend to have a "recap", so it's kind of exciting that I do! ;) Actually, the weekend wasn't very exciting; but it was kind of busy...

Since I didn't do my long run on Friday, I had to do it Saturday. And I'm glad I waited, because the weather was gorgeous for a run! My plan was to run 10 miles--my first post-marathon long run. I drove out to the Metropark to run, because my kids went to some garage sales with my dad. I decided to run the whole 10, rather than doing the 9:1 run/walk method.

I headed out and it was so peaceful and nice outside, with great weather. But just a couple of miles into the run, my knee started bugging me. By mile 4, I had tears in my eyes because it was hurting so badly. I was running an out-and-back route, so I was 4 miles from my car. I was actually only a mile or so from where my dad was garage saleing with my kids. I took my phone out of my hydration belt to call my dad for a pick-up. I have NEVER called for a pick-up from a run before!! That's how much pain I was in. Before I called, however, I decided to try a walk break.

At mile 4.5, I walked for 1/4 mile, and that helped my knee enough to where I could run again. After that, I just did a 9:1 run/walk method, and while my knee still hurt, I was able to finish the 10 miles. I was so frustrated with my goddamned knee that I got my my car and screamed--like the people that totally lose it in the movies. My splits:

The 11:16 mile was where I walked 1/4 mile of it. After that mile, I ran the first 9/10ths of a mile and then walked the last tenth. About a mile from the car, I stopped to take a picture because it was so pretty:

My knee was pretty much killing me the rest of the day. I decided to call a sports medicine doctor first thing on Monday.

On Sunday morning, I woke up bright and early. A couple of my friends (Alicia and Andrea) were going to do their first triathlon, and I wanted to go cheer them on. It was at the state park (not far from my house), so I quickly dressed and headed out. I stopped and bought a 24 oz. coffee (a regular one--not decaf)! It makes me laugh how easy it was to get hooked on regular coffee after the one little slip-up on Friday. I walked down by the beach to the start of the race, and found Alicia and Andrea.

Andrea and Alicia--don't they look cute in their swim caps? ;)

They were doing the sprint triathlon, which is a 0.47 mile swim, 12.4 mile bike, and a 3.1 mile run. Once the race started and they headed out for the swim, I walked over to where they would come up out of the water and watched them run over to the transition. Then Stephanie and Tammy (both spectators as well) and I all ran over to watch them head out on their bikes. Tammy and I found a good spot to cheer them on about a mile into the run. We cheered for a while and then after they both passed by us, we ran to the finish line to see them finish.

I wasn't expecting all the running around, but it was a lot of fun! After Andrea and Alicia finished, I stayed at the finish line cheering for all the people finishing. I felt bad, because pretty soon, Tammy and I were the ONLY ones standing at the finish chute cheering for the final yards. I'm glad that we stayed, because everyone deserves to have people there at the end!

After the triathlon, I had to go get the kids from the church picnic. Jerry and I stayed for a little while, and we brought a kite for the kids to fly. It had been sitting in our hall closet for about three years!

It's a robot kite--they got it pretty high up there!

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This morning, I got up and went for a run as soon as Jerry got home at 6:30. My plan was to do the first day's workout of marathon training (just to test it out--marathon training doesn't actually start until June 18th). It was a 50-minute run with 6 pick-ups (30 seconds of fast running). So I set my Garmin for intervals--8 minutes of easy running at a 10:30-ish pace, followed by 30-seconds of a 8:00-8:30-ish pace. Then repeat for a total of 6 times.

By mile three, my knee was killing me. I took a walk break, and then decided to head directly home for a total of only 4 miles rather than the 50-minutes I was "supposed" to do. Again, so frustrated I wanted to cry.

These splits are done by time--8 minutes followed by 30 seconds. It ended up being 4 miles in 40:34 (a 10:08 pace overall), which is actually a little faster than I was going for.

After running, I had to shower and head out for an OB/GYN appointment. It was a follow-up appointment after my colposcopy. The doctor explained the results and what everything meant, and said I didn't need the D&C after all (yay!!). The colp was totally normal. He wants me to repeat my pap smear in 3 months, but he's sure that it will be normal, so he said not to worry about anything at all.

On the way home, I stopped at the running store for some new shoes. My Brooks Adrenalines are getting up there in mileage, and I decided to try out a different shoe this time, to see if it might help with my knee pain. I explained all the issues I've had with the woman working there, and she brought out a bunch of different shoes. I was really surprised that my favorite fit were actually the Mizuno Wave Inspire 8's. I've only ever worn Brooks, so it's kind of scary to switch brands. But we'll see what happens!

I had to get a size 10 wide!! In everyday shoes, I wear an 8.5 regular; in my Brooks Adrenaline's, I wear 9.5 wide. The saleswoman told me that these Mizuno's run a half-size short, so I should get a 10. And she was right. They're really comfy and not as heavy as the Adrenaline's. But I haven't run in them yet, so the true test will be on Wednesday.

As soon as I got home, I scheduled an appointment with a sports medicine doc about my knee. I really hope that he doesn't tell me I can't run. But my knee hasn't gotten any better and it's been months since I injured it, so who knows. And the last thing I want to do is go through months of marathon training with my knee feeling like it is. So I'm praying he just tells me to strength train, stretch, and maybe foam-roll or something.

So that is my weekend (and Monday) in a nutshell.

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Reader Questions & Answers #15

On Sundays, I will answer some readers' questions in a post. If you have a question that you would like me to answer here on the blog, just send me an e-mail with the subject "Q&A", and I may include them in a future Q&A post. They don't have to be about weight loss or running--anything is game!  (Remember, I'm not a doctor or dietician, or any sort of medical professional--I can only answer questions from my own experience).

Q. I have been running for about 6 months.  I try to run slowly, but I am still always out of breath  (not so much that I need to stop--I can go 3-4 miles--but I feel like I'm panting like crazy compared to the super fit runners I see on the trails).  I always wear a heart monitor and my heart rate is also always VERY high.  

I've talked to my MD about it and she said it's nothing to worry about.  However, I feel like my running fitness is not improving.  I am able to run farther distances, and sometimes it is easier than others, but overall I feel stuck.  Did you ever have this issue?  Did you notice that your average heart rate was lower as you continued to run and/or improved your running?

A. If your heart rate is always very high, it might not be the greatest indicator of whether your fitness is improving. It's good that you talked to your doctor about it, and that she said it's nothing to worry about. But do you notice that your breathing is a little labored and your muscles feel like they're really working when you run? 

If your heart rate is always high, you might want to judge your effort level by your breathing instead. When I do my long, easy runs, I can carry on a conversation pretty easily. It might be a little choppier than when I'm sitting and talking, but I can talk. When I'm racing for a PR, I can barely get out a word or two and I'm gasping for breath at the end. Those are the two opposite ends of the spectrum. 

I find that I improve the most when I run somewhere in-between for most of my runs--an effort level of about a 7 (on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the hardest effort). In the beginning, an effort of 7 would put me at a pace of about an 11:15 mile--and now, when I run at that effort level, I run about a 9:20 mile. I'm putting in the same effort, but going faster, so I know that my fitness level has improved. (But to answer your question, yes--my average heart rate lowered as I got fitter). I still have good runs and bad runs, though--some days an effort of 7 would put me at a 10:30 pace, just because it's hot outside, I'm hungover not feeling well, etc. 

Overall, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As long as you're pushing yourself (and not feeling so relaxed that you could take a nap!) your fitness will improve.

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Q. When you were losing weight and had a binge, did you calculate/count all of the calories from the binge?

A. I went an entire year without a single binge, and when I did finally binge, I was so angry at myself! But yes, I added up the calories (the best that I could). I would estimate as honestly as possible how much I ate of each food item and tally up the calories. Most of the time, this would help me to realize that the damage wasn't actually as bad as I thought, and if I got right back on track, it would only set me back a pound or so. 

When I didn't write it down, I would imagine that I had eaten tens of thousands of calories and that I might as well give up. Writing it down is a reality check that could be good or bad, but definitely REAL. And it may help you!

Here's an actual binge from my food log

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Q. When I run, my hands go numb. I also tend to make a fist while I'm running if I don't consciously think to keep my hands relaxed. Does this ever happen to you/what do you do to prevent it?

A. This used to happen to me when I was overweight. A lot of times, people who are overweight, and/or don't exercise, have poor circulation. This was the case with me, and it caused my hands to go numb--both while exercising and even while sleeping, knitting, or typing. As I lost weight, it happened less and less frequently, until it just never happened at all. 

When you say you make a fist, are you clenching your fist? It's okay to make a fist with your hands while you run, but you should keep them loose--not clenched. At first, it's hard to get used to keeping your upper body relaxed while you run, but you can waste a lot of effort by clenching your fists (or hunching your shoulders, like some people do). It's best to keep your upper body relaxed.

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And now a question for all of you...
What do you do to de-stress? I feel SO stressed out lately, and I need some suggestions to help me get over it! I already exercise, which is supposedly the best way to relieve stress. Unfortunately, my favorite way to de-stress is to eat!

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Rik's story

I am so excited to introduce you to Rik. Rik e-mailed me shortly after my skin removal surgery to say that he just had the same surgery, and he enjoyed reading my blog about what to expect. We talked about Ragnar Relay, and he said he would love to get together a team of people like us--who had lost a lot of weight and become runners in the process. He could captain the team (a job I was terrified of), and I could find people to fill the team. It worked out perfectly.

Since then, I've definitely come to think of Rik as a friend. As silly as it sounds, Rik has this very calming effect on me. When I feel anxious (like I did the night before my marathon), I like to call him to talk and he has a way of making me feel better. He makes the perfect captain for our team! While I could go on and on about Rik, I will let him share his personal journey. His story is a little longer than the others I've posted, but Rik doesn't have a blog--so I don't want to cut out any of his story. It's totally worth the read!

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As long as I can remember, I have always been fat. It was always just a matter of HOW fat.

Rik "before"

I come from a long line of fat people and great cooks, and grew up with an extended family that believed very strongly that you show love with good food. I have always been trying to lose weight. I can remember logging calories in a notebook every day in middle school, and attending Weight Watchers meetings in high school. Nothing worked.

Of course, I hadn’t tried getting off my butt. It pretty much never occurred to me. I was the last kid picked for the team in gym class. I didn’t worry too much about it though, because my parents had always put all the emphasis on academics. If it wasn’t for gym class, I’d have been on the honor roll every quarter!

Between my freshman and sophomore years of college, I worked third shift stocking shelves at a grocery store, and I didn’t have a car yet, so I biked back and forth to work. At the end of that summer, I also had my wisdom teeth out, and pretty much didn’t eat for a week. I went back to school at 169 pounds. It was the first time my weight matched my height, and I was thrilled!

But I somehow didn’t put together the hard work of the summer with the weight loss, and as soon as I got back to my college routine, that weight started coming back. I felt powerless to stop it. I graduated college in 1992 and married Cynthia, my college sweetheart, at age 22. And over the next 15 years, I watched my weight slowly but steadily continue to increase, topping out at 275.

As I mentioned, I come from a close family. My dad is one of my heroes, and I've taken a lot of cues from him regarding what’s important in life, and how to live it. For the most part, that’s a very good thing. But I also have his genes, and his love of good food, and his prioritizing of mental pursuits over physical ones. Over the last several years, I have seen him struggle with health challenges: he is significantly overweight, has back trouble, a heart stent, and is diabetic.

And one day, at age 38, it hit me. Looking at my dad, I was looking at a preview of coming attractions. I was starting to see the beginnings of some ill health effects for myself: borderline high blood pressure, sleep apnea, low energy. I was just exhausted all the time. It was as if I was never fully awake during the day, nor fully asleep at night. And I had spent over 10 years on medication for a digestive disorder that had pretty much turned me into a shut-in. I could tell you the location every public bathroom in the city. And I thought, if I don’t do something, right now, this is as good as it gets for the rest of my life.

I should mention that I also have my dad's proud and stubborn streak, which makes me insist on solving my problems on my own and not admitting when I need help, thinking it to be a sign of weakness. But after trying and failing to lose weight a million times, something had to give. I finally got humble, and admitted that I needed to call in an expert. It was January of 2008.

As they say, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And that's when I met my personal trainer, Myra, the woman who would save my life. Myra is a personal trainer that Cynthia met at the gym. They got to talking, and we arranged for Myra to come to the house and meet me. I was so embarrassed to even talk to her. I remember when she asked me during our first session about my goals, I didn’t really have any. And I thought, what an idiot. I should have a goal! But I didn’t know what it should be. I said something non-committal about having her teach me some exercises so that I could do them myself.

Our exercise session was one hour, with her doing most of the talking and leading me through some exercises in my basement rec room. I remember it was very uncomfortable and embarrassing, and I didn’t say much. I couldn’t do one push up. But she was SO encouraging and so positive, I thought, well maybe I should stick with this.

We met one hour each Thursday night, and it seemed like a LOT of work. I would drag myself up the stairs at the end, dripping with sweat. And Cynthia was always at the top of the stairs in the kitchen, wanting to hear how it went, with a proud look on her face. I love that look! And Myra would tell her in glowing terms how well I did. It was a little embarrassing to hear, but I eventually got to like it.

Myra and I did that for six months, until, at some point, it just seemed like part of my weekly routine. At that point, we added a second hour on Monday nights. Something weird happened. I started looking forward to our sessions. That was new! And Myra and Cynthia continued to cheer me on, so I just worked all the harder.

At the new year, 2009, Myra asked me again to set a goal. I said (and I honestly have no idea where this came from) that I would like to try jogging. I’ve seen people in my neighborhood doing it, and they look like they are having fun. But again, I had to admit I didn’t know something--I had no idea how to run! Fortunately, I own a treadmill, so Myra said, "No problem, I will talk you through it." And after we cleared all the hanging clothes off the treadmill, dusted it off and plugged it in, she had me up on it and talked me through the basics of a running stride.

Rik "after"

Myra and I started dedicating the beginning of each of our sessions to treadmill time, and after about six weeks, I was able to go a mile without stopping. It took 14 minutes, but it was a mile. I remember Myra asking me how I felt, and I said I felt like I could do anything. And I meant it! It was the best feeling!

Not long after that, I started training for my first 5k, three months away, in March. I remember showing up that day VERY self-conscious and nervous, thinking everyone around me could tell that I was new to this, that I didn’t belong there. My goal was to run the whole distance without needing to stop and walk. And I did it. Another victory, and this time, the feeling of being able to do anything lasted all weekend.

From there, I was hooked. I set a new running goal every three months, eventually leading to my first marathon in October of 2010. I was running on my own multiple days per week, and I LOVED my training. Myra tweaked our sessions to complement the running. I even took up yoga to help build flexibility, to help with the running. I built distance and speed, and confidence. And I met a bunch of new friends along the way, including a whole Ragnar team.

And the weight just FELL off. (You can watch it happen on fast-forward in a little video at the end of this post). I dropped 90 pounds, and all the ill health effects I was suffering have vanished. My blood pressure dropped 30 points, my cholesterol dropped 100 points. My doctor was amazed. No more medication, no more staying home while everyone goes out to have fun.  

My weight settled at about 185. At that point, I just maintained for about a year to make sure I was truly done. In September of 2011, I went in to consult with a plastic surgeon about the extra skin around my midsection, and he confirmed that I indeed just had skin there, that there wasn’t fat there anymore. It was hard to believe, because what I saw in the mirror just didn’t match what I hearing. But I booked the surgery for December of 2011, again deciding to trust the expert.

Rik was EXTREMELY nervous to post this picture, but I told
him he looks fantastic and has nothing to be ashamed of.
Now he doesn't even look like he was ever overweight!

Cynthia stumbled across Katie’s blog while researching the weight loss skin removal surgery. I was shocked. Katie and I had been on a common path for a couple years, and here she was having the same surgery as me, just three weeks ahead of me. Her honest and detailed account helped me tremendously. It was like looking three weeks into my own future. Katie’s blog was more informative than anything else I had read, or even what I had heard from the surgeon.

While I was laid up for six weeks recovering, I reached out to Katie to thank her. And we hit upon this idea to put together a Ragnar relay team made up of people with stories like ours. You’ll be hearing a LOT more about this project as it develops, on Katie’s blog, on our team’s Facebook page, and hopefully a lot of other places!

As I write this, I am a few weeks away from running my fourth marathon. I’ve decided to set a lifetime goal to run a marathon in every state, and so my next one is June 23 in Anchorage, Alaska. My brother lives there and he hasn’t seen me in person in about three years.

The person I was five years ago would not recognize me anymore. And at last, I finally know I will never go back. I’ve worked too hard and I feel too good to go back. And I got so much help getting here, I feel strongly about helping others achieve success. Instead of going back, it’s now time to pay it forward.

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Pecan pancakes

Today was Jen and Angela's last day in Michigan. They spent the morning getting some work done at my parents' house, and I met Renee for coffee. I got there before Renee, and when I ordered my coffee, I accidentally ordered a regular coffee instead of decaf. I hadn't had regular coffee in 8 months!! I was worried how it was going to affect me, but I just decided to drink it anyways.

Renee showed up shortly after, and it was really good to talk to her. She told me about the job that she was applying for, and we talked a little bit about marathon training. She's going to be running the NYC marathon this fall. I'm really excited for her, since this was her fourth year applying! She knew that if she applied three years in a row and didn't make it, she would automatically be "in" the fourth year--and she was (they just changed that rule, unfortunately, so you truly have to win the lottery to get in from now on). So she'll be training right around the same time as when I'm training for Detroit. (She's much faster than me, so unfortunately, I won't be doing my runs with her).

She said she definitely thinks I can aim higher on my time goal for the marathon. Rik said the same thing when I talked to him the other night. So I'm going to re-evaluate my goal and pick a time that I have to work for, but not strive for something out-of-reach. Not sure what it will be yet. I'm going to come up with an "A-goal" a "B-goal" and a "C-goal".

On the way home from my meeting with Renee, I started to get really jittery. My hands were trembling like crazy. But when I got in the house, the last thing I wanted to do was sit down, so I started cleaning. I actually wanted to clean! So I think I made a decision to start drinking regular coffee again, hahaha. I actually got some housework done, which was badly needed.

After that, Angela and Jennifer came over for our last filming before they were going back home. They wanted to film me blogging (which they were actually doing as I wrote the first three paragraphs of this blog); as well as film me talking about our team and how we are getting to know each other and become great friends via our team Facebook page. This is kind of a cool picture of Angela filming me while I was blogging...

After we were done filming that, we decided to go to Cracker Barrel for lunch. Angela wanted to go because she's never been to one! I always thought Cracker Barrel was a big chain that was everywhere, but Angela said they don't have them in L.A. As they were packing up their camera equipment, Estelle decided she had enough of living with us, and she packed herself up in the camera case...

She actually fit in that spot perfectly. I almost had Jennifer convinced to take Paolo with her, but she said she didn't think her landlord would let her have a cat. Bummer! (And no, I haven't given up hope finding Paolo a home that isn't mine!). I wanted to get a picture with them before they left, of course...

I look so short ;)  That is Jennifer on the left and Angela on the right. After that, we all headed to Cracker Barrel with Jerry and the boys. I got the pecan pancakes, and they were delicious!! I decided that the pecan pancakes will be my treat after my long runs for my marathon training... definitely something to look forward to!

Then it was time to say good-bye, because Jennifer and Angela had to head to the airport. I was so sad to see them leave! It was a lot of fun to hang out with them for the past few days. I won't see Jennifer again until we're in Miami. Angela is going to come here to film Rik and I meeting for the first time in October when we run the Detroit Marathon together.

Now it's back to reality. I have a TON of laundry to catch up on, as well as e-mail, blog reading, and some other blog-related stuff. But Jerry is off this weekend, so I plan on spending quality time with him and the boys as my top priority. What a fun few days it has been!

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Feeling overwhelmed

I had another great day with Jennifer and Angela! Last night, Renee came over and met them (over wine, of course!). I'm glad that she was able to, because I really wanted her and Jessica to meet the people I've been talking about (and will be talking about for months to come).

This morning, after I got the kids off to school, I went over to my mom's and we chatted over coffee for a little bit. They suggested getting some footage of Jessica and I running together, since we trained for the marathon together. So Jessica came over and we all walked down the road to film.

We just did a few shots of Jessica and I running, and I talked a little bit about our training. A very simple day today ;) Then we headed out to lunch. I really wanted to take Jennifer and Angela to La Pita--since everyone who tries it LOVES it--so that's where we went. I got my usual, which you've seen on the blog a thousand times...

The chicken kabob with hummus, garlic sauce, rice, salad, and (of course) warm pitas. When I start to feel full, I always tell myself, "Just one more bite." But it's just so good that I can't help eating more and more! I ate almost everything on my plate today.

After lunch, Jennifer and Angela came with me to pick up the kids from the bus stop. Angela brought the camera to film some "everyday stuff" that I do, but my life is seriously SOOO boring. I feel bad that they don't have much to film. We chatted at my house for a little while and then it was time for the kids' baseball practice, so Jennifer and Angela came along.

I was feeling really guilty for being such a boring hostess, but Noah and Eli's practices were at two different schools, so my dad couldn't take over for today--I had to take Eli to practice while he stayed with Noah. Jennifer and Angela stayed at the practice for about 20 minutes and then left to go work with the footage they'd gotten over the past two days.

At baseball practice, Eli was extremely excited for his turn to bat. On Tuesday, he'd gotten three hits to the outfield, and he was really proud of that. Today, he was hoping to repeat that. When it was his turn, he hit the first ball just past the pitcher. The second one was really short, just a few yards in front of him. I could tell he was discouraged, and I saw him get really determined for his third hit.

He smoked the ball HARD--right into the pitcher's eye. It seriously hit him square in the eye, poor kid. He was crying, and ran over to his dad. All the parents were worried about the kid who was hit, and Eli wasn't really sure if he could be excited about his hit or not. I had him apologize to the boy, but I told him that he had a great hit.

When Eli was practicing, I got this really horrible feeling of being overwhelmed--it was like a blanket just draped over my shoulders, weighing me down. I'm feeling so guilty--like I'm neglecting everyone in my life. I feel like a bad wife, a bad mother, and a bad friend. I've barely seen Jerry lately, my parents have had to help out with watching my kids way too much recently, and I feel like I'm losing touch with my friends because all of this stuff going on with ME (my blog; Fitness magazine; The Ragnar Relay project and documentary; the marathon).

Renee is applying for a new job, and I was looking forward to hearing about it, but I forgot to ask her about it last night over wine, and I feel bad about that. I know that all of this is just my depression going through a bad spell right now, but I really hate this feeling. And of course, the lump in my throat is back. Jerry is off work tomorrow and Saturday, so I'm going to try and spend some quality time with him, as well as do something fun with the kids.

The kids have been really cute lately, which makes me feel even worse. Eli keeps asking me if he can get his ears pierced, hahaha. I didn't tell him no, but I really hope he changes his mind! I think I will buy him magnetic ones. ;)  My mom told me another funny thing he said--he asked my mom if penises have bones. I cracked up at that one. Tomorrow is their last day of school. I can't believe how fast they are growing!

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The interview

Today was a very exciting day! I was looking forward to it for the past couple of weeks. Jen and Angela, the producers of the documentary From Fat to Finish Line (about our Ragnar Relay team) came to visit. Jennifer is from New Jersey and Angela from L.A.

First, I woke up at 5:15 in order to get a run in before I had to get the kids ready for school. I really didn't want to get out of bed, but once I did, I was getting more excited by the minute for Jennifer and Angela to arrive. As soon as I stepped outside and started running, I felt amazing! The weather was perfect at 5:30 in the morning, and it was just getting light outside. I decided almost immediately that I would do four miles instead of three.

I think I was going a little too fast, though, because my knee was really hurting. I really need to get it looked at by a doctor before I start marathon training. I don't want to go through this all over again. At 3.4 miles, I could have gone a block and arrived home, or I could have circled the neighborhood to reach 4 miles. So I decided to go ahead and keep running until I hit 4.

 After my run, I quickly showered, blew my hair dry, and put on some make-up. After getting the kids off to school, I went to my mom's house to wait for Jennifer and Angela to arrive. I was so excited when they go there! Normally I'm super shy around people I've never met, but I truly feel like I knew them already because of our Ragnar Facebook page. We quickly fell into conversation.

We had lunch (my mom made a big salad spread) before doing the interview. Then we went outside to do the filming of the interview. I wasn't nervous at all, which actually surprises me. I was very irritated at my shirt, however--one of the spaces between buttons wouldn't stay shut!

Angela setting up the camera

Ready for the interview

I didn't rehearse any of the questions, because I wanted my responses to be natural. I stumbled over words a few times, but over all, I think I did okay. I answered some unique questions, ones that I didn't feel like I've answered over and over again, which was refreshing.

It probably took an hour or so to do the interview, maybe an hour and a half. Then we went inside and set up to do a quick interview of both Jerry and I...

Jerry was super nervous, which surprised me. Usually I'M the nervous one, and he's calm as can be, but not today. He even got choked up when he talked about how proud he was of me, and I've never seen him do that before!

We had some more conversation and it was already dinner time. My mom made spaghetti, so we had that, and then talked some more--I LOVE listening to Jennifer and Angela's stories about when they used to work at talk shows (they met when they worked for Montel Williams together). It's just very interesting. I only have a few moments to blog now, because they are coming to my house for wine tonight :)

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I just have to share some good news as well. Rik called me last night and asked if I would want some company during the marathon! He is going to pace me to my goal. He lives in Wisconsin, so he and his wife are going to come here for the weekend of the race and he's going to run with me. I'm super excited about it. It will actually be the first time we'll meet face-to-face. Fun!

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Okay, have to go get the wine glasses and snacks for tonight...

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A new license

My friend Del (the owner of the Curves I used to work at from 2003-2005) called me a few days ago and asked if I would like to come in and work on Tuesday at 8:00. She said that her granddaughter was graduating from preschool, and she wanted to go watch that, so I would only be there for a few hours. I was excited about it, and said sure.

So this morning, I got up early to shower and get dressed before  sending the kids off to school. I even dried my hair and put on make-up (!!) something I rarely do ;) Just as I finished putting on my make-up, Del called to say that she got the date wrong on her granddaughter's graduation, so she didn't need me after all. I was kind of disappointed, but it worked out for the best because I had a lot to get done today.

I went to the post office to mail a baseball bat for Jerry. Jerry bought a bat at a garage sale for $5; and he just sold it for $120!! I wouldn't haven't given that bat a second glance if I had seen it first. After the post office, I went to the Secretary of State to apply for an enhanced driver's license (and enhanced license will get me into Canada and Mexico, and it's cheaper than an actual passport). There are few things that are more boring than waiting for your number to be called at the DMV. You can't even really "people watch" because everybody just sits and stares straight ahead.

I was bummed that I had to get a new photo taken for the enhanced license. I really liked the photo on my license, and the woman who took my application even said, "Oh, this is a good picture, too bad you have to have a new one". Bahaha! But she said my new one turned out as good as the old one, so we will see. I did remember to change my weight, thank goodness! Last time I was getting my license renewed, I was super excited to get a new photo and change my weight from my obese weight to my current weight of 133. In my excitement, I forgot to change my weight--so according to the DMV, I was still 250ish pounds! Anyway, she took my new photo and I should get my enhanced license in 2-3 weeks.

I stopped at the fruit and veggie market on the way home to get the stuff to make this recipe for a Smashed Chick Pea & Avocado Salad Sandwich. It took a while to make (have you ever peeled the skins from a whole can of chick peas?), but it was worth it. I was surprised how much I liked it!

After lunch, I got to work getting stuff cleaned up for tomorrow. I haven't mentioned this until now, but Jen from From Fat to Finish Line is coming to visit!! I've already talked about the documentary that her film company is making about our Ragnar Relay team; so her and another producer, Angela, are coming in tomorrow morning. They will be here until Friday night to do interviews and some filming for the documentary.

I'm mostly just excited to get to meet Jen in person! They are going to be staying at my parents' house (more comfortable and spacious than mine with my boys) and only 2/3 of a mile from my house. I'm not really sure what the plans are yet as far as the interviews. But of course I will write about it tomorrow night.

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A couple people have asked me about whether I wore my hydration belt during the marathon. Yes, I did. That was the first time I had ever carried stuff with me during a race, but after the last half-marathon I did, I knew I wanted to have water with me at all times. I felt like I was going to die of thirst during that half-marathon, so by wearing my hydration belt, I had access to water (or Powerade) throughout the whole course.

I'm really glad that I wore it! I was able to fit 5 Gu's, a pack of Shot Bloks, my cell phone, and a water bottle. I refilled my water bottle with Powerade at a couple of different stations, and I sipped that throughout the course. I had already worn the hydration belt during most of my long runs, so I knew it wouldn't bother me... and it didn't.

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If you give Katie a glass of wine...

...she is going to pour another.

I had a pretty uneventful weekend, but Saturday night, I did something I swore I would never do! My kids were staying the night at my parents' house, and Jerry was at work. I was trying to catch up on blog reading. It all started so innocently, with a single glass of wine...

But then I had another glass. And a third. Before I knew it, I was doing a Google search...

Why on earth would I need a passport, you might ask? Good question. There is actually an international race in October--the Detroit Free Press Marathon/Half-Marathon/5K. I sent Jerry a text to see if his work would pay for my registration (like they've been paying for a lot of local races lately)...

Ignore the boob comment. Of course he would go
and ruin my screenshot with a comment like that!

And just like that, I did it. I swore I would never do another marathon, and just six days after my first, I was registered for my second. What the hell was I thinking?!

I was already registered to run the fifth leg of a relay at that same marathon, so I had to find someone to take my leg for me--and Stephanie said that she would like to do it. I think she is the perfect person to take my spot! I'm a little bummed about not doing the relay, because I'm sure it would be so much FUN--but this is the only fall marathon that would have worked out for me (plus, Jerry's work is paying for the registration!)

I just really want to have a GOOD marathon experience. The first one was okay, and certainly could have been worse; but now that I know what to expect, I think I can have a much better experience. The only downside is that I won't have a training partner this time, but I will live (hopefully).

So anyway, I will be running 26.2 in Detroit (and Canada!) on October 21st. I promise not to be AS annoying with the marathon talk this time around ;) Training starts on June 18th--right around the corner. I am doing a different schedule this time around. I found this training schedule in a Women's Running magazine a while ago. The training is only three days per week--but all three days are higher quality workouts. This is impossible to read while it's this small, but I think if you click on it, it will be bigger (not that it's interesting to anyone but me!)

E=Easy run
PU=Pick Up (30 seconds of fast running)
T=Tempo (a "comfortably fast" pace)
ER=Easy Recovery
MP=Marathon Pace

I am actually going to make it a point to do cross training this time around. I am going to do strength training as well (using my new kettlebell) starting tomorrow. For cross training, I will probably either ride my bike or walk at a high incline on the dreadmill.

My goal going into this marathon is to finish under 5 hours. Last time, I was just doing it to finish, regardless of time. But I don't like that my pace was all over the place during training and the race itself. I'd like to stick to the training schedule and follow the recommended pace for each run, based on my current half-marathon time. According to the McMillan calculator, I should be able to run a full marathon in 4:20:00 ish. I'm not even going to aim for that!! I will be more than happy with anything under 5:00:00.

The best part about this race is that the average temp is between 44 and 57 degrees--PERFECT for running! I will be training through the summer though, which isn't going to be pleasant. I will probably have to do quite a few treadmill runs, because my kids will be home from school. And I know I shouldn't plan to fail, but IF I have bad knee problems like last time, or if the heat is just too difficult to train in, I can always switch to the half-marathon as a back-up plan.

I have to go to the Secretary of State tomorrow to apply for an enhanced driver's license (it's cheaper than a passport). I know so many of you said that I would do another marathon, and I swore up and down that I wouldn't. So go ahead and say you told me so! ;)

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Reader Questions & Answers #14

On Sundays, I will answer some readers' questions in a post. If you have a question that you would like me to answer here on the blog, just send me an e-mail with the subject "Q&A", and I may include them in a future Q&A post. They don't have to be about weight loss or running--anything is game!  (Remember, I'm not a doctor or dietician, or any sort of medical professional--I can only answer questions from my own experience).

Q. Were you very accurate with your calorie counting?  I know counting calories will not be exact, but did you always do a give or take? Now that you have lost weight, do you feel that you can relax more about weight loss?

A. I am such a perfectionist that when I started losing weight, I was very precise with my measurements. I like to measure food by weighing it out in grams rather than portioning with measuring cups or spoons. While portioning my oatmeal, I would make sure it was exactly 40 grams--if it said 41, I would take a little out. I felt like it HAD to be precise, or else I was "cheating".

Now, however, I realize how silly that was! Eating 41 grams of oatmeal instead of 40 is not what made me fat. So I definitely got more relaxed after losing the weight. I never used to eat at parties while losing weight because I didn't prepare the food, so I had no idea exactly how many calories were in it. But now I realize that it's okay to guesstimate.

I try to be accurate in eyeballing a portion of food, and I look up the calories--I know that it's not 100% precise, but it makes counting calories a lot less complicated. I think as long as you can trust yourself to be honest, then it's okay to not be be super precise about the accuracy. But if you tend to give yourself a little more than you are accounting for and convince yourself that it's the right portion, then maybe you should weigh it out ;)

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Q. I remember reading on your blog in the past that before you lost weight your day centered around food and eating. I have that same problem. Even though I am following Weight Watchers and having success I still think of or plan my food for much of the day. At what point, if ever, did food not become central in your thoughts or day? Do you still struggle with food thoughts filling much of your time?

A. This is something that Jessica and I talk about often. Jessica lost 80 pounds a few years ago--from counting calories and exercise, just like me. We both agree that food takes up a huge majority of our thoughts for the day--even after losing the weight. Before losing the weight, I was always thinking about what I wanted to eat next or what sounded good to eat. As I was losing weight, I was always planning out my meals in my head. And now that I'm maintaining, I am constantly thinking about and worry about gaining the weight back.

Jessica's before and after photos

I really wish that I could just push food out of my mind for an entire day, but it's impossible. Losing the weight didn't make me quit thinking about food all the time, unfortunately. In a perfect world, I would be able to eat "normally" (intuitively, but without thinking about it that way) and I wouldn't give a single thought to food when I wasn't hungry. But I honestly can't even imagine what that would be like! I realize that obsessive thoughts about food aren't "normal", but I haven't figured out how to fix that yet.

Something that really drives me crazy is how I associate food with certain places. If I have to go to the mall, for example, I immediately think of Mrs. Fields and I start to obsess over what I can buy there. Or if Jerry suggests going to the movies, I immediately think of popcorn. Sometimes the kids want to go to the dollar store, and that makes me think of candy. So frustrating!

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Q. What sort of exercise (if any) does Jerry do?? Does he run at all?

A. I've actually been asked this question quite a few times lately. I will let Jerry answer it...
"Do I exercise? No. Here are my reasons excuses for not exercising:

1) I don't have time.
2) It's really hard.
3) Have you SEEN Katie's toenails?!

See? Exercise.

I do play softball during the summer, but that is the only "real" exercise I do. I've tried out running a few times, because Katie is kind of inspiring (not sure if you've heard that before), but I really don't like it. I lost weight just from eating what Katie gave me to eat."

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And now a question for all of you...

Does your spouse/significant other exercise with you? As Jerry just answered, mine does not. I'm kind of glad he's not a runner, because we would probably fight over who gets to do which races and who stays with the kids ;)

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John's First Ragnar Relay (a guest post)

I would like to introduce you to Runner #12 on our Ragnar Relay team, John. I "met" John via SparkPeople.com. John is not only a member of Spark, but also the success story manager! As a SparkPeople success story, I was e-mailing him photos and questions for possible inclusion in the media. I didn't realize he was SANDIEGOJOHN, who was one of my Spark friends until months later.

"Knowing" him via his Spark page and e-mails, I decided to ask him to join our Ragnar team. I'm so glad that I did! He is so much fun, and I've learned a lot about him since forming our team. I'm sure Rik was happy to have another male on the team, also ;)  Here's John...

Hello, Everyone!

My name is John Hulsey, and like all the other runners on Katie's Ragnar Relay Team, I am thrilled to be part of this crazy adventure and grateful to have this chance to share a little bit about me with the amazing (and amazingly supportive) readers of Runs For Cookies.

I've shared my weight gain and loss story on my own blog, so I thought I would take this opportunity to talk specifically about my earlier experience with Ragnar.

I started running in December 2010. In April 2011, I heard about a relay race and was curious about it. I found it on the web, signed up on the site to read more about it, and logged off. Sure, it sounded fun, but I wasn't a runner good enough for that. No way.

Right away, I got an email from someone who asked, "You are looking for a team? We need a runner. Interested?"

Oh, jeez, what had I done?! Turns out, I thought I was filling out a profile about myself but I had actually checked the box that said, "I'm a runner looking for a team." And with the Ragnar Southern California coming up in a week, teams were desperate to find replacements for runners that had dropped out.

I apologized to the woman and explained that it was a mistake, I wasn't nearly good enough to run with a team, etc. She replied, "... and yet, there you are on the Ragnar site."

Back and forth we went for several emails. Long story short, she convinced me to join the team. And just like that, I did. A week later, I took a train to Los Angeles, spent the night with a friend, and the next morning stood on the sidewalk at 5am and waited for a white van to come pick me up. Crazy, right?

I had never run a relay. I had never run a Ragnar. And I didn't know a single team member. But I had no idea how amazing the running community is. And I definitely didn't know the spirit of the Ragnar.

From the beginning, the team said they were concerned with three things. One, that everyone had fun. Two, that everyone stay safe. Three, that everyone ran their best. And in that order. And they meant it.

My first leg was just under three miles and I was so nervous. "Just run," I kept telling myself. And I did. It wasn't my best run (it was hot and it was all uphill... ugh!), but I did it. And when I met up with the team, they weren't concerned with my time. They weren't concerned at all. They were just happy I had completed the leg and we were off to the next exchange.

My second leg was late in the evening, and I ran six miles under a brilliant (and nearly full) moon. The evening was cool but not cold, the course was uphill and then back down, and I felt confident. I waited in the chute, took the bracelet from my teammate, and I headed out. My pace was good, my body felt strong, and the first few miles were as expected. And then, just past mile four, the unexpected happened.

I was suddenly and completely overwhelmed by it all. There's no other way to explain it. My last thought was, "I can't believe I'm doing this. It's the middle of the night, I'm running six miles, and I'm going to make my team proud of me."

And then, tears. And not just a couple of tears, like when you watch the coffee commercial where the brother comes home from college and surprises his family. No, this was if-you-don't-know-better-you'd-think-my-dog-died tears. I was still running, definitely, but the tears just kept rolling down my face.

That was my moment, you see. I realized that I had truly changed my life. I was no longer that man just standing by while the days ticked off a calendar. To quote the site SparkPeople, I had truly made my life an adventure. And I knew in that moment that I would never be afraid of a challenge again.

When I came into the exchange, I had the biggest grin on my face. I had beaten my expected time, but that was the last thing on my mind. Instead, I felt like I had become a completely different person over those six miles. I started a man who "wasn't a runner," but I ended a man who was ready to try anything.

And after the Ragnar, I did just that. I ran a Tough Mudder, Bay to Breakers, the Rock n Roll San Diego Half Marathon, and in October 2011, I ran the Marine Corps Marathon. And I haven't stopped since.

For me, the Ragnar Relay is more than just a run. It's where I finally opened my eyes and saw the person I have become. It's not about being the fastest runner. It's not about winning the race. It's where all the hard work pays off. It's where all the training and healthy eating and early morning workouts and saying no to an extra dessert and all the other things that go into losing weight and building a healthy body show themselves to the world.

If you have a chance to run a Ragnar, do it. You will never regret giving yourself that moment to truly prove who you are.

You can check out John's blog for more about his story.

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