Clearly, Jerry picked out this shirt for me--we saw it at Goodwill and he was super bummed it was a men's small, so he asked me if I'd wear it. Hahaha, sure--I'll humor him. I put very very thin elastic around the bottom of it so that it doesn't just hug my hips and butt. I like shirts to sit comfortably at hip level, so I actually do this to a lot of my shirts.
Just as I sat down to write this, a huge storm came out of nowhere (I'm sure it wasn't out of nowhere; I just never look at the weather app). I love to watch storms and I was watching the fruit trees in the front yard blowing hard from the wind. Then suddenly, the dead tree across the street just snapped in half and the top half fell to the road, shattering like a piece of glass. It was really cool to watch! Although, now we will have to clean it up when the storm stops (by "we" I mean Jerry, of course.)
I mentioned a few days ago that I've been going through a pretty bad depressive episode recently. I know I sound like a broken record, but I've been super overwhelmed for nearly a year now and my moods definitely affect the way I eat.
This past week, however, I've been working on maintaining a routine--I want to stay consistent in my eating habits regardless of my moods. I think this will really help me with maintenance (something I've never been able to do for very long). Usually, when my mood changes, so do my eating habits--and it's hard to maintain (or lose) weight.
I focused a lot on eating good, healthy food this week (lots of vegetables). My favorite was when Jerry made his Beans & Greens. I *love* it and it's such a comfort food for me. Jerry likes to make that when I'm having really bad days and it definitely makes me feel better!
I haven't been snacking at night, mainly because I've been keeping my hands busy with sewing. I used to sew *everything* by machine because why sew by hand when you can do it in a fraction of the time with a machine? I had to sew thick denim one day and it messed up my machine; so I sewed that part by hand. And now I love it! I still use my machine for most things, but there is something really relaxing about sitting in bed at night and hand sewing. Usually I listen to a podcast, too.
Anyway, as far as my weigh-in goes, I had another loss this week:
I was at 134.6 today--which is inside of my "happy range"! I like to be closer to 130, but the range I'm aiming to stay in for actual maintenance (if I ever figure it out!) is 125-135.
I've definitely felt the difference in my clothes, which is nice. I'm getting more and more physically comfortable, and I don't have to do a "jeans dance" to get into my jeans that are just out of the dryer. I'm sure you know the dance I'm talking about? Squatting several times and moving around, bending every which way to get the jeans to sit right? Maybe it's just me ;)
It's funny, though--a lot of the clothes that I altered for myself just a couple of months ago are feeling a little big--and I haven't even worn some of them yet! I'm going to try to put together a post of before and afters of the clothes I've been working on.
Since so many of you said you really liked the overalls I posted about last week, I worked up the nerve to wear them out. And not just OUT--I went to my brother's summer party with about 150 people! Go big or go home, right?
I felt kind of very self-conscious at first, but I can't even count the number of compliments people gave me on them! It boosted my self-esteem (which was much needed). And it gave me the opportunity to meet and converse with several new people (something that usually gives me horrible anxiety). I am really glad I ended up wearing them. And now I feel confident about working on more fun clothes :)
Anyway, I'm happy with how the week went as far as my habits and routine (and especially stepping out of my comfort zone at the party). I wish I could say that I no longer feel depressed, but we all know that's not something you can just flip a switch and feel back to normal. It's like telling a pitcher to throw strikes!
I know it's so personal, depression that is..but keeping it in doesn't help either..
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find some help.. or just posted and get it off you chest!! You are such an inspiration to all who follow you ♥️
Congrats on continuing to push your comfort zone. Wearing those overalls out and about sounds like a great effort in that area. Sending more hugs on the depression. And keep the memes coming. Just love this one. If it were only that simple.
ReplyDeleteYour overalls to your brother's party reminds me...last summer my son was invited to a birthday party and it was at a country club of all places. My son was 9 and I had no intention of just dropping him off. I wore a pair of "fun" overalls to the party that were like aqua blue tie dye with a VW bus on the chest pocket. I think they're cute as can be. However, in hindsight I should have made "some" effort to fit in more at the country club, lol. All the moms were wearing tennis skirts and athletic tanks, which is NOT my jam.
ReplyDeleteIf you thought it would help at all by writing/posting about your current state of mind, depression, could you post but turn off comments to that post so you don't have any of the dread or worry about nonsupportive comments? There wouldn't be the ones that can lift you up a bit, but without the comments that are designed to be hurtful showing up, maybe that's a bit of a freedom. And honestly, it's your space on the internet - delete those who are mean if you do make comments live - poss Jerry could edit them. No one deserves to see their snide comment here and no one should be able to jump on and add more to what you're already carrying. Best of luck getting through this. We see you and wish you well!
ReplyDeleteGreat job being in your happy range especially with dealing with depression. It is so hard - like climbing a mountain. I love the inspiration you and Jerry provide. Keep up the good work - publishing the good, the bad, and the ugly (the shirt is super cute). Love thrifting. You too are a great couple. I would love to be 130 range. That is huge!
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