August 12, 2014


Last night, Jerry and I were chatting and drinking a glass of wine, when he got a text message from a friend, telling him that Robin Williams had died. When he relayed the message to me, I literally gasped out loud and covered my mouth in disbelief. A lot of times, when celebrities die, I have to Google them to see who they were; not Robin Williams.

I was so shocked, and then when I read that it was a suicide, my heart just broke. I had just been talking to my kids earlier in the day about how people who have a lot of money aren't necessarily happy (the kids assumed more money = happiness). My kids have seen a few of Williams' movies, so I told them what happened, and it helped confirm what I'd told them earlier.

I know firsthand just how debilitating depression can be, and how hopeless it can make one feel. It's a terrible thing to go through, even when you have all the resources to help. Whenever I hear about a suicide, it just makes me feel so sad for that person, and that they had lost hope. There is nothing worse than feeling hopeless.

Anyway, the world lost a great comedian and actor yesterday, but I really hope that it brings more awareness to what depression can do to people--even people who seem to have everything going for them!

A few weeks ago, I got a notice in the mail from my bank stating that soon, they were going to start charging a $7 monthly service fee for their "free" checking accounts. That did not fly well with me! I have two checking accounts and one savings account there, and I've been a customer for about 15 years, but I decided to switch banks so that I could have a truly free checking account.

I had no idea just how much work it was going to be to switch banks! I decided to use a local credit union, so I went there to open the accounts, but because Jerry wasn't with me, I had to open the accounts in just my name (later, I'll have to take him with him to add him on). We have a lot of automatic deposits and withdrawals, so I have to notify all of those companies and change them all over to the credit union.

This afternoon, I had to go to the bank (which is actually now 20 minutes away, because the branch nearest to us closed a year or two ago). I closed out my savings account, but had to leave the checking accounts until everything is switched over, which could take a few weeks. I ran into several other issues, but won't get into the boring details here. Basically, changing banks takes a lot of work!

I'm still doing well with intuitive eating. Last night, I ate too much, but rather than beat myself up for it, I used it as a learning experience. I'd had a couple of glasses of wine (one glass was just fine, but I shouldn't have had the second), and then I started thinking I was hungry (logically, I knew I wasn't). So I snacked on a few random things, which ended up being too much.

On Weight Watchers, if that happened, I would have used up way too many points, and then I would have tried to restrict my eating today so conserve what points I had left. That's a slippery slope, because it's basically a set-up for a binge. Instead, I just went right back to intuitive eating today--I ate breakfast when I was hungry (a couple of hours after I woke up), and followed my hunger cues throughout the day. It felt nice to just move on without much thought at all about it.

Because of all the running around I did for the bank, I didn't have a chance to go to the store to pick up anything for dinner. At around 4:30, I was starving. My stomach felt like it was going to eat itself. I thought about taking the kids out to dinner, but nothing really sounded good (which was odd, because I really was hungry). I was at the point that I really didn't care what I ate (Cereal? Sure! PB&J? Great!). The kids weren't thrilled about the idea of cereal for dinner, so after some digging, I found the stuff to make meatball stroganoff.

Stroganoff always looks so gross, but it tastes so good!

When I first started the intuitive eating, there were very specific cravings that I had, so it was easy to choose what to eat. For the past few days, though, I've had such a hard time deciding, because nothing really calls out to me. It's not a bad thing, but just something interesting that I noted.

I've had a hard time getting outside to run lately, because of Jerry's work schedule. I've done a lot of treadmill running, but it's been hard to make myself do more than three miles on the treadmill. Jerry's schedule is going to change again soon, so I should be have more free time to run outside. I want to get in at least one more long run of 10-12 miles before going to Punta Cana.

Speaking of Punta Cana, we leave in less than two weeks!! I'm getting SO excited :)


  1. I get charged 12.00 a month for my checking account but haven't switched bc everything that you have to change over.

  2. I find that when I overeat, I'm naturally less hungry and/or crave healthier things afterward. Maybe not the very next day, and maybe not dramatically, but a subtle difference over several days to a week. I kind of learned to trust my body to "make up for it" on it's own. As long as I don't let my mind get it's hands on it. If that happens I either continue overeating or try to restrict and then binge, like you said.

  3. I've just discovered your blog/ journey. Can we be b.f.f.'s ;-) ? I'm at exactly 253, I don't know why, but my body likes that number and am finding all of your posts to be so honest and encouraging. Thanks for giving me some hope.

    And the hungrier I get the more nothing sounds good. I can imagine that would be difficult with the intuitive eating.

  4. A glass of wine (or two) will do that to me every time - trick me into thinking I'm hungry when I'm not.

  5. My husband ended his life 11 years ago, I also suffer with depression and it is such a struggle. I was very saddened to hear of Robin Williams' death. Depression does not discriminate based on sex, wealth, success. I hope his death brings depression awareness out in the open.
    I had to change banks a while back for the same reason. It is a chore, but I can't let someone take money out of my accounts just because I do business with them. That is crazy.

    1. I'm so sorry about your husband :( That must have been so awful to go through, and I'm sure it still hurts everyday. I, too, hope that Williams' death brings more awareness to depression and just how serious it is.

  6. What is your recipe for the stronganoff?

    1. I didn't follow a recipe, but I just used frozen meatballs, onion, mushrooms, beef broth, sour cream, and egg noodles. It was pretty fast to throw together!

  7. My old bank announced a similar fee, but I believe it was for use of their debit card. I switched banks. Apparently many people did because they announced they weren't going to implement the charge. I had already changed by then. I don't find it overly hard though. Once the first month passes most everything automatic is taken care of.

  8. I hope Robin Williams can see how many lives he touched and how much he is missed. The new Night at the Museum movie will be hard to watch but i can't wait to see it, he's always been a fav


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