Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Accountability

Today was Day 8 of being 100% back on track with Weight Watchers--no extra bites of food here, no heavy-handed portions there, no "well, I'll just eat this now and get back on track tomorrow"'s, etc. It's been a long time since I had a week as committed as I was this week, and I feel really good.

Over the weekend, someone broke into our garage, and stole my iPod out of the Jeep. I'm so bummed! It was just an iPod Nano, but it's what I used to listen to music in the car and podcasts while out for a walk. I'm not going to replace it, so I'll just try to get used to using my phone, even though it's pretty big (the Nano was really small).

We were supposed to have a big thunderstorm last night, but all we got were some sprinkles and heavy clouds--and then our power went out. I never understand that! We can have major storms come through and still have electricity, but then a gentle breeze will knock it out for a few hours. I'm always tempted to eat in those situations, because there's nothing else to do--it was too dark to see much of anything, and my phone was almost dead. But, I stayed on plan, and didn't use the power outage as an excuse to eat.

This morning, I had my Weight Watchers meeting. My weight was only down a smidge, but that may be because I was wearing really light clothes (yoga pants) last week, and heavier jeans today. Also, I weighed in on Friday last week, so it's only been five days between weigh-ins at Weight Watchers. Anyway, I logged another loss, regardless, so I'm happy with that!

At our meeting today, we talked about accountability. Glenda had asked us to write down what "accountable" meant to us. It was hard for me to put into words, but I wrote:



It reminded me of back in 2009, when I first started Weight Watchers. I specifically remember measuring out one cup of spaghetti noodles, and I made it a little more heaping than it should have been. Just before I dumped it onto my plate, I thought, "Who am I really kidding? Does anyone in the world (other than me) really care if I have an actual cup or a heaping cup? No. The only person who is going to care about the consequences is me. What good is lying to myself?!" So I re-measured out my spaghetti, giving myself a proper cup.

Would that extra little bit of spaghetti be devastating in the long run? Heck no. But it was the accountability that I was after. I wanted to be completely honest with myself from the very first day. If I wasn't losing weight, I wanted to know why. And likewise, if I was losing a lot, I wanted to know why.

My main focus, though, was this: I wanted to be 100% sure that I was doing everything in my power to reach my goal--I wanted to follow the plan so that I knew that no matter what the scale said, I was doing my best. I didn't want to look back after a year and say, "I could have done this better", or "I should have done that instead". I just wanted to look back and say, "I did everything I could, and this is the result."

This past week, I did my best. There isn't anything I wish I'd done differently, actually. That mentality makes it easier when I don't see a big loss on the scale. I know I did my best, so it is what it is.

Our homework for next week is to write a situation in which we feel confident--it could be a place, an outfit, a person, or something else. This is a hard one for me, because confidence is not my strongest suit. It's kind of interesting, actually, that my confidence goes hand-in-hand with my weight. When I was at my goal weight, I felt very confident in most situations; now, I don't feel that way at all. I'll have to think about it this week!

21 comments:

  1. "Your self worth is constant, and doesn't change depending on your weight." I read that somewhere once and it really helped me. Sadly, I think it is common for women to feel more/less confident, depending on their weight.

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  2. Thank you for this! Your post about accountability is inspiring! The section which resonated with me the most is your thought, "Who am I really kidding? Does anyone in the world (other than me) really care if I have an actual cup or a heaping cup? No. The only person who is going to care about the consequences is me. What good is lying to myself?!"

    Thank you and good luck!

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  3. Your post reminded me of something I heard today. Something about when we are tempted to do something (like take the heaping portion of noodles, for example), take a moment and think of the fives. What will the consequence of taking that action be in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months and 5 years. So, in this example, the consequences of taking a heaping portion is going to be small to nothing in the first 3, but you will definitely notice in the last two, 5 months and 5 years, especially if you keep on track making those same decisions. (I hope that made sense ;) )

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    1. I love that idea! That makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing :)

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  4. Hey a smidgen is still something! Regardless, you still lost weight and that is a step in the right direction! Sorry to hear that your garage was broken into though.

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  5. When I find myself fudging on my Points or not tracking something I ate, I ask myself, "Who do you think you're cheating here? Weight Watchers International? No. You're just cheating yourself."

    I also say, "You can tell people whatever story you want with your mouth about your eating habits, but your butt and hips will ALWAYS speak the truth!!" 😉

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  6. Wow. I so needed this today. I definitely have done a "heaping" portion or counted only a few pretzels when I know I had more than that. It's so true that you're only lying to yourself, and even when we don't track it on paper/app, our bodies are still tracking it! Thank you so much for your continued honesty and transparency on this journey!

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  7. This is the perfect topic for this week! My mom is starting back on her diet tomorrow, and I've been going strong for a couple of months. Accountable can be for an individual, but also a partnership. Since we are counting on each other to maintain healthy eating habits, we are more likely to remain strong. Sometimes people can be less likely to eat responsibly if they are only hurting themselves, but when they know that loved ones are counting on them, that may be the motivation/accountability they need.

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  8. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. It's almost like you are in my head. (creeping me out :) ) I have been slacking on my tracking. Taking little nibbles or a cookie here, extra tasting there, just another spoon full there. I have still been losing weight, but like you said who am I kidding?!? I need to hold myself more accountable for my actions. Thank you for always sharing your stories with us. You have helped me refocus on my goals and get back on track 100%!! Thank you Thank you Thank you for always being so open and honest.

    I think that you should be confident about the way you handled that ball game. There was so much free food and drinks around that it could have been free game for any of it. Instead you kept your composure, stayed confident and stuck to your plan. You should feel so proud of yourself for that!

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  9. Great post. That sucks about your iPod! I also make sure to track every bit that I eat because, you're right, who are we kidding? Even if it's not tracked or acknowledge, it still happened.

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  10. I need to remember "who am I really fooling / cheating on?" It's not my nutritionist! I always feel like I'm "getting away" with something and that it's forbidden = worth it. But it's not. It just sets me back or keeps me on a plateau instead of seeing positive changes.

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  11. Thank you for this post. This is exactly what i needed to hear today/this week. Even though I felt like i walked 1000 miles I still ate like crap and it showed at the scale. When the leader asked if I knew where this came from I was so tempted to tell her no...but who am I kidding, she doesn't care if i gain or lose she is there to help me not look down on me. So I told her exactly what happened and that I read your post and that is now my goal. So thank you :)

    Ps. sorry about your Ipod- some people are just jerks.

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  12. I keep struggling to get myself 100% back together. It's true that you are only cheating yourself with those little extras.

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  13. Katie! Oh my gosh, what a great post. Thank you. The struggle is real! I hear you re: the confidence thing, especially tied to our size. I always see cute things that other people are wearing and think that it would never look good on me because I'm not small enough... we are the worst - to ourselves! xo

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  14. The perfect post for me right now. Beginning with accountability definition and up to spaghetti and who am I trying to fool now
    Went and got myself a new notebook for a food journal.
    Thank you!!!

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  15. The perfect post for me right now. Beginning with accountability definition and up to spaghetti and who am I trying to fool now
    Went and got myself a new notebook for a food journal.
    Thank you!!!

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  16. I really needed this post- thanks for keeping us honest with ourselves :)

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  17. This was a great post - I haven't been losing as much as I'd like lately, and I think that's largely due to little "cheats" - especially not measuring out my wine, and then counting it as 5 oz. Thanks for the reminder that you're not hurting anyone but yourself when you do that!

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    1. Ohmygoodness, I LOVE the name of your blog! I'm a "dirty eater" too, and I don't apologize for it ;)

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    2. Hopefully you'll see this since it's been a few days, but that's why I've always LOVED your blog, and it's what's inspired me to start my own. When I first lost weight two years ago, you were a huge help to me, it was really discouraging to go looking for blogs and find people who cut everything out of their life to lose weight. I love that you're honest and live like a normal person - it's just not realistic for most of us to become super clean perfect eaters!

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