Today was Day 8 of being 100% back on track with Weight Watchers--no extra bites of food here, no heavy-handed portions there, no "well, I'll just eat this now and get back on track tomorrow"'s, etc. It's been a long time since I had a week as committed as I was this week, and I feel really good.
Over the weekend, someone broke into our garage, and stole my iPod out of the Jeep. I'm so bummed! It was just an iPod Nano, but it's what I used to listen to music in the car and podcasts while out for a walk. I'm not going to replace it, so I'll just try to get used to using my phone, even though it's pretty big (the Nano was really small).
We were supposed to have a big thunderstorm last night, but all we got were some sprinkles and heavy clouds--and then our power went out. I never understand that! We can have major storms come through and still have electricity, but then a gentle breeze will knock it out for a few hours. I'm always tempted to eat in those situations, because there's nothing else to do--it was too dark to see much of anything, and my phone was almost dead. But, I stayed on plan, and didn't use the power outage as an excuse to eat.
This morning, I had my Weight Watchers meeting. My weight was only down a smidge, but that may be because I was wearing really light clothes (yoga pants) last week, and heavier jeans today. Also, I weighed in on Friday last week, so it's only been five days between weigh-ins at Weight Watchers. Anyway, I logged another loss, regardless, so I'm happy with that!
At our meeting today, we talked about accountability. Glenda had asked us to write down what "accountable" meant to us. It was hard for me to put into words, but I wrote:
It reminded me of back in 2009, when I first started Weight Watchers. I specifically remember measuring out one cup of spaghetti noodles, and I made it a little more heaping than it should have been. Just before I dumped it onto my plate, I thought, "Who am I really kidding? Does anyone in the world (other than me) really care if I have an actual cup or a heaping cup? No. The only person who is going to care about the consequences is me. What good is lying to myself?!" So I re-measured out my spaghetti, giving myself a proper cup.
Would that extra little bit of spaghetti be devastating in the long run? Heck no. But it was the accountability that I was after. I wanted to be completely honest with myself from the very first day. If I wasn't losing weight, I wanted to know why. And likewise, if I was losing a lot, I wanted to know why.
My main focus, though, was this: I wanted to be 100% sure that I was doing everything in my power to reach my goal--I wanted to follow the plan so that I knew that no matter what the scale said, I was doing my best. I didn't want to look back after a year and say, "I could have done this better", or "I should have done that instead". I just wanted to look back and say, "I did everything I could, and this is the result."
This past week, I did my best. There isn't anything I wish I'd done differently, actually. That mentality makes it easier when I don't see a big loss on the scale. I know I did my best, so it is what it is.
Our homework for next week is to write a situation in which we feel confident--it could be a place, an outfit, a person, or something else. This is a hard one for me, because confidence is not my strongest suit. It's kind of interesting, actually, that my confidence goes hand-in-hand with my weight. When I was at my goal weight, I felt very confident in most situations; now, I don't feel that way at all. I'll have to think about it this week!