A Bump in the Road

I'm not even sure where to start...

In November, I had my annual physical; I have to get one every year for insurance purposes. I was nervous about my cholesterol going back up because of the horrible way I'd been eating for three months. Last year was the first time in my life that my cholesterol was in the "normal" range and I really wanted it to stay there.

To my surprise, it went down again! Only by a few points, but it motivated me to get back to eating healthier because next year, I may not be so lucky. The other stuff (blood pressure, etc) was good. But. My doctor noticed my thyroid was enlarged. I wasn't surprised or concerned because when I was pregnant with Noah, my OB discovered a nodule on my thyroid. I had a couple of ultrasounds but it wasn't suspicious so nothing ever came of it.

A few months ago, I was going to post a Wednesday Weigh-In. I took my usual mirror selfie and I noticed that my thyroid seemed bigger than usual. (Ever since the nodule, my thyroid has been slightly enlarged, but that's pretty common. I never worried about it because I'd had it checked out.) I wasn't even going to mention it to my doctor.

My doctor is very conservative when it comes to ordering tests. She's great at what she does, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't take me very seriously about things. She's actually known me since I was a kid; my mom used to be the office manager for years. Anyway, when she showed concern about my thyroid, I knew I'd better take it seriously because she's not easily concerned.

I started to wonder look back at the symptoms I'd had and didn't really put together. I'd noticed that my voice was changing a little--sounding slightly hoarse. And I've been having to clear my throat a lot. When I had COVID in September, remember how I said my throat felt like someone was squeezing it? I have that feeling a LOT and I always attributed it to anxiety; it makes me wonder if it was an enlarged thyroid all this time.

Over the last six months or so, I've also had a harder time swallowing. Nothing alarming, just something I noticed. Especially while swallowing pills, which I've never had a problem with. Between trouble swallowing, my voice changing, and my throat feeling like it's being squeezed, the signs were there. I just didn't put them all together.

My doctor ordered lab work to check my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) to see if my thyroid hormones were being affected by my enlarged thyroid. (It came back normal.) She also ordered an ultrasound, which is the standard to check out what's going on with the thyroid.

I called right away to make the appointment and was able to get in just two weeks later for the ultrasound. The ultrasound tech isn't allowed to explain what they are seeing, but I could see the monitor and even though I'm not a trained tech, I could tell something was abnormal. I asked the tech if that was a nodule, but since he couldn't answer me, I just had to wait for the results.

Thanks to the holiday, it took almost a week to get the results (usually test results show up in my online chart within 24 hours or so). It turns out that the left lobe of my thyroid is VERY enlarged. And it has a large mass (the mass is about the same size as the lobe itself!). Finally, there is a cyst inside the mass. Lucky me, right?

There is a grading system for thyroid masses to determine how likely they are to be malignant. The system ranges from 1 (very unlikely to be cancer) to 5 (most likely). Due to the size and composition of the mass, mine is a 3--so it's not terrible but not great either. The odds are still very much in my favor that it's benign.

I was then referred to an ENT (ear, nose, and throat) doctor. He scoped me to check out my vocal cords (that was uncomfortable--putting a tiny camera through my nose and down my throat--but kind of cool to see on the monitor). The doctor was mostly concerned about how quickly the mass has grown and my symptoms have appeared. I started noticing them about six months ago, but after I had COVID they really became more prominent. I just thought maybe it'd had something to do with my tooth/jaw.

The ENT ordered more blood work and a biopsy. It's a needle biopsy, where they insert a needle into the mass to collect cells and look for cancer. Due to the size of the mass alone, I need to get it removed. (The doctor mentioned another option that could shrink the mass, but it's not guaranteed and I just really want this thing gone.) I'm nervous that I may lose function in my thyroid, though. If I get the surgery, it sounds like they will remove the left lobe along with the mass. I'll find out more after the results of the biopsy. (The results are needed to determine a plan of action.)

My biopsy is this Friday, the 10th. The biopsy itself is supposedly no big deal.

Speaking of no big deal, I haven't really been wanting to tell people about all of this because I don't want to hear that "thyroid cancer is no big deal" or it's "easily curable". While it probably isn't even cancer, it's very invalidating to hear. I know they mean well in trying to assure me not to worry, but to me, it's kind of a big deal. Even if it's not cancer, removing my thyroid is a major surgery--it's going to leave a very noticeable scar and I may lose thyroid function and need medication for the rest of my life.

I like hearing about others' experiences (good or bad) regarding thyroid cancer/removal, but I just don't want to what I'm going through to be dismissed as nothing. Hopefully that makes sense. Because of that, I've only told a couple of people what is going on. But I've been absent from my blog for weeks now because this has been a major part of my life over the last month. Considering the biopsy and likely surgery, this year is off to a great start! (that is sarcastic)

I've actually been eating much better over the past couple of weeks. I had some goals and things I wanted to work on this year (and I still do) but this thing with my thyroid is hanging over my head. I was hoping to go visit my friend Sarah in Arizona for our birthdays (hers is on the 22nd and mine is on the 25th of this month) but I don't want to make travel plans until I know what is happening.

Anyway, that is what's been going on most recently. In other news, Noah is moving back home! His lease is up at the end of this month and he decided he wants to save money for a down payment on a house. He realized (even though I told him a year ago!) that he could be putting all of that rent money in savings and he'll have a nice chunk of change in a year.

I'm excited to have him come home again, but it's been kind of stressful. I had turned the spare bedroom into my craft/sewing room and having to move everything out of there hasn't been easy. I have no idea where I used to keep everything! There is a LOT of stuff to find space for. We moved the treadmill, which is rarely used anymore, to the garage and I put my large sewing cabinet and the table I built for my sewing machine in the spot where the treadmill used to be. I don't love it, but it works for now.

I had a very stressful year--mentally, emotionally, and physically--and sewing was definitely my therapy. I've always enjoyed sewing, but this past year had me sewing every spare moment I had. While I'm hoping the stress calms down after this thing with my thyroid is over, having this sort of hobby-therapy has been super helpful to take my mind off of things.

Since I'm sure people will be curious about my biopsy results, I'll definitely share the news (I wouldn't bring all this up and then just leave it open-ended). I have no idea how long it takes to get the results, so it may be a couple of weeks. I'll have to follow up with the ENT to figure out a plan as well.

Despite this bump in the road, I'm going to continue to try to get my life back on track after having "let myself go" for a few months (see my previous post if you haven't--that explains what I'm referring to). I've always written end-of-the-year recaps and my goals for the new year, etc, and even though it's late, I would like to try to write a few things (I know I keep saying this and not following through--I've been overwhelmed and it's hard to even know what to write, let alone where to start).

Today, we celebrate Eli's birthday... he's 19!!

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What a Mess

So, where was I? Oh right, it was a couple of hours before my oral surgery and then I didn't write for three weeks after that. Why is the time going by so fast?!

The morning of the surgery (if you missed it, I needed a tooth extracted and replaced with an implant), I was terrified, of course. Jerry drove me to the appointment; since I was having IV sedation, I needed a driver afterward.

I sat in the chair at the dentist and the assistants got me set up for the IV. [One thing that I noted while I was there--they asked me for my height and weight. I wondered if Eli was asked that before his sedation. Since he woke up during surgery, maybe they didn't give him the proper dose of meds. At home later, I asked him about it and he said he was never asked for his height or weight. I was angry all over again.]

The assistants were asking me about my kids, likely to keep me calm and then to see how the meds were kicking in. I remember laughing one moment (in regards to something about the kids) and the next thing I remember, I was walking back to the car with Jerry. The sedation was WONDERFUL.

I felt pretty good and asked Jerry if we could stop at JoAnn Fabrics for a minute (I only needed one small thing). I don't remember much of anything about that stop! Hahaha, I must have still been totally out of it. My mouth was killing me all the way home. I got a little relief when I took the gauze pads out of my mouth (you're supposed to bite them until it stops bleeding) but it was still painful overall. Painkillers helped a little, but they've never been super effective with me.

The big question for me was, is my headache gone?

It was hard to tell at first because of the tooth pain (or phantom pain, I guess?). My headache became much worse, actually, despite the pain meds. The pain meds made it tolerable, but I only had three day's worth and on the fourth day, I was miserable again. I just figured that my headache wasn't related to my tooth after all, and I was just going to have to live with this headache forever.

About a week later, though, I noticed that it wasn't as bad. I had periods throughout the day where it stopped hurting altogether, and it gave me so much hope. About a week ago, my headache was about 90% gone and now it's to the point where if I do have a headache, it's usually dehydration--basically my baseline.

So now, tooth is gone, headache is gone! 

I wish I could say I feel a million times better now, but this whole thing (plus a bunch of other stuff) did a number on me over the last few months. I started eating terribly, and even binge eating (something I hadn't done in a very long time!). I stopped wanting to do things with people--my headache made me irritable and definitely not good company. I stopped being very active in day-to-day life (I hate to blame it on the headache, but the more I moved around, the worse it got).

I gained 15 pounds, bringing me to 160--the heaviest I've been in probably at least three years. My clothes don't fit. I feel incredibly unhealthy due to the eating habits and lack of exercise. It's amazing what just three months did to me, mentally and physically. This is seriously one of the worst setbacks I've had as far as my weight loss goes--not due to the numbers, but just how quickly and easily this whole thing happened. I feel terrible about myself, though, for letting this happen.

Now that the headache is gone, I want to get back on track but I am having SUCH a hard time doing it. It's amazing how three months can totally change your taste buds, your cravings, even your desire to get back on track. It's hard not to feel like I'm "too far gone" to fix it. And I know that's a horrible attitude! I'm just thinking out loud while I type.

I already know--very well--what I need to do to get back on track and feel better about myself. I just need to find the discipline and determination to do it. I'm going to read 'Atomic Habits' again and try to come up with a plan that doesn't sound so daunting. Jerry is at his heaviest in probably 12 years and he really wants to work on it as well.

I've never been a fan of "waiting until the new year" to start working on a goal, so I'm not going to discount this month. [I wrote a post about this and I just reread it. It's actually pretty helpful, even to myself!] We still have 20 days left, and I want to make the most of it. My birthday is next month and it would be great if I could lose 10 pounds or so before then.

Right now, I am hanging in there--just not feeling very happy with myself. Thank you for asking! I always feel better after writing a post, so I should try to make that a habit as well. I don't want to go back to blogging every day, but even once a week--especially as I try to get my life back in order--would be helpful.

And because I don't like to end my posts on a negative note, here is a picture of Jerry... with his new truck! He's always wanted a new truck, and through the years, we always said that when we paid off the house, he could buy whatever truck he wanted. He's certainly earned it and absolutely deserves it! He LOVES it and I'm thrilled for him. (Also, this means that I now have the Edge to drive.)

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The Catalyst Headache

It all started when I had COVID in September. When I say "it", I'm just referring to a series of little events that added up to where I am this morning. I wish I had been writing about this all along because it would be easier to keep up, but here goes...

In September, I got a headache. I'd quit drinking coffee the day before, so I assumed it was due to the caffeine withdrawal (my caffeine withdrawal headaches are terrible and I always vow never to get hooked on coffee again, then I do). The next day, my throat felt like it was squeezing shut. This is very common because of my generalized anxiety.

The following day, my headache was still persistent but my throat had gotten much worse--it was to the point that I *knew* I was getting sick. The telltale sign for me is always a sore throat. Sure enough, I got more symptoms and was down and out for a few days. It wasn't terrible, but definitely not fun. The worst part was my persistent headache and throat that just felt like I was being strangled.

I had been taking a decongestant around the clock with COVID so that I wouldn't get a sinus infection. I was happy that I never did--but my sinuses felt totally dry and I assumed that's what was causing my headache.

The headache actually started to get even worse. It wasn't excruciating or migraine-like, but it was there, non-stop, 24/7. I started taking more and more ibuprofen, 800 mg at a time, and it was barely touching it. I couldn't sleep. I got really moody because the headache was so persistent and I just wanted a break. I compare it to having a conversation with an adult and your young child keeps tugging on your pants saying "Mama, mama" trying to get your attention the whole time and you just don't want to interrupt the conversation.

Soon my whole face was hurting, particularly my jaw, my temples, forehead, and behind my eyes. After a couple of weeks, I knew it couldn't be the caffeine. COVID was long gone. My jaw was hurting so badly that I decided to go to the dentist. I'd been avoiding the dentist ever since Eli had oral surgery last December and woke up in the middle of it, feeling every single thing the oral surgeon was doing to remove his impacted wisdom teeth.

When I'd been sick, I was eating popsicles around the clock because they helped my throat. And the teeth on the right side of my face were SO sensitive to the cold. This wasn't totally new, and the dentist knew about it but couldn't find a problem, so I'd just been using toothpaste for sensitive teeth (Tom's actually works pretty well for that!). 

Anyway, I had a nagging feeling that I had a bad tooth or something. The hygienist took x-rays and said she didn't see anything on the x-rays, but it's possible I had a hairline fracture or something (which sounded terrible to me). And sure enough, upon inspection, she noticed a very small crack in my (#31) molar (the one farthest back on the lower right side).

The dentist said he could put a crown on it, but referred me to an endodontist because he said I should be evaluated to see if I need a root canal first. I had a root canal and crown in 2016 and I was terrified to ever have to get another crown (honestly, the root canal was easier than the crown). He said since I was having a lot of pain, there was a good chance I'd need the root canal--otherwise, I might still have pain with the crown.

I wanted to do nothing. Pretend that I never went to the dentist. Pretend that my tooth was fine. How did I chew ice for like 15 years and never get a crack, then quit a year and a half ago and my tooth gets fractured? While I don't grind my teeth, I do clench my jaw a lot when my anxiety is bad, which could be the cause. But the dentist said if I did nothing it would likely get infected, possibly causing an abscess and a much bigger problem than a root canal and crown.

As much as I wanted to ignore the problem, my constant headache was so bad at that point that I just made the appointment with the endodontist and hoped I at least wouldn't need a root canal. After having a severely broken jaw in 2010 (the surgeon said it was the worst broken jaw he'd ever seen), needing two reconstructive surgeries, and having my jaws wired shut for six weeks, you would think that maybe my bad luck with my teeth was over. But that would be too easy! It caused a dental phobia, and I always dread going to the dentist.

Anyway, the endodontist was SO kind. After taking more x-rays and examining my tooth, he told me the worst news yet... he said that he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to save my tooth at all. He said that if I wanted, he could start the root canal and try to save the tooth, but from his experience he didn't think it would work. He recommended extracting the tooth altogether.

The thought of it made me feel sick and I (embarrassingly) cried a little when he told me. Not only am I scared of any sort of dental work, I am now also scared of twilight sedation (which is what Eli had). I knew there was no way I could endure the extraction without the sedation though. He gave me a referral to an oral surgeon... and when I looked at it, it was the same surgeon Eli had had. I said there was absolutely no way I was seeing him, so he referred me to a different one.

Since the endodontist didn't think he could save my tooth I didn't want him to try, only to get halfway through a root canal before needing it extracted anyway. I wanted the least amount of procedures possible. So I called the oral surgeon and made an appointment for a consult, requesting IV sedation. I know people get extractions without sedation, but there was no way I could make it through that.

The oral surgeon was reassuring, especially when he took a panoramic x-ray and saw the plates in my jaw and learned how bad my dental phobia was. He was actually very surprised that I was never sedated when I got the arch bars removed (the metal things that held my jaw shut for six weeks) because it's such a painful procedure. (I compare it to flossing with wire as thick as a paperclip.) I told him about Eli and he assured me that he's never had that happen to a patient before.

The panoramic x-ray looks pretty cool, right?!

He also gave me more bad news. He explained that he highly recommended an implant where I'd be missing a tooth--not for cosmetic reasons, but because my jaw bone could start to degrade and cause a whole host of problems with my other teeth.

At this point, I was just so overwhelmed with all that was happening. It all started with a headache, and now I needed a tooth extracted and implant to replace it, followed by a crown? I asked a ton of questions about the procedure and if he could do it at the same time as the extraction (if I was already going to be sedated, I'd rather get it done in one procedure instead of two) and he said yes--it'll only take another 10-15 minutes.

My headache was still 24/7 (I'm not exaggerating when I say that) and I was desperate for relief. I made the appointment for the (very expensive) dental procedure. And in about three hours from now, I'll be getting IV sedation, having a tooth extracted and replaced with an implant. It has to heal for three months, and then I'll have to get a crown.

My anxiety is through the roof right now. I know this may sound like no big deal to most people, and why am I so worried about a stupid dental procedure? Most people haven't experienced a broken jaw I have and I feel like my fear is legit. But I will do anything to get rid of this headache. I've had to eat on the left side of my mouth for two months (which feels very unnatural) and avoid anything cold. I've been stress-eating and have gained 12(!) pounds in two months. I just want to get this over with and hopefully get back to normal.

Soooo, that's where I am at right now. I hope the next time I write, it'll be without a headache and the extraction and implant will have been uneventful and boring. Here goes nothing...

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The One Where Phoebe Crossed the Rainbow Bridge

I hate that this is the first post I've written in a while, because it's a sad one for me. The last couple of months have just plain sucked, and I have been avoiding writing until I have something positive to say. But I can't skip over this one.

Noah called me on Saturday morning and said that he was really worried about Phoebe. She was hiding in his closet, not wanting to be social, very lethargic... not at all like her. She also looked very skinny (she was already a skinny cat and couldn't afford to lose any weight). Her fur was looking clumpy. All of these things had happened a few years ago as well, and I'd been sure she was at death's door. I even made the appointment to have her euthanized and we all said our goodbyes to her.

Saying goodbye to her a few years ago

Then, the morning of the appointment, she suddenly started eating again and she perked up a lot. So, we waited. And she got better! Back to normal Phoebe. She's done that to us a couple of times over the last few years, so when Noah called me, I wasn't *too* worried. If it hadn't been Saturday, I probably would've waited a day or two to take her to the vet. But if something was wrong, I really didn't want it to happen while the vet was closed on Sunday.

Noah had an appointment, but I asked his girlfriend, Rose, if she wanted to go with me. She ADORES Phoebe. She has spoiled her rotten over the last year and Phoebe was super attached to Rose. I thought that if this was the end of the road for Phoebe, she'd want Rose there too.

When they weighed Phoebe at the vet, I was stunned. She was only 3.5 pounds (down from 5.5 a couple of months ago). She looked like a skeleton with fur. Normally, she would have meowed the whole way to the vet and then fought her way to stay in her carrier instead of getting examined, but she seemed like she was just so tired and didn't care what was happening.

The vet said her kidney disease had progressed to the point that there was really nothing we could do. They could give her fluids, which would probably help for a couple of days, but then we'd be back in the same spot. And I could tell Phoebe was in pain--it was even hard for her to walk. I asked the vet what she would do if it was her cat, and she gently said that euthanizing her would probably be the most loving thing we could do for her at that point.

She left Rose and I to talk it over and we were devastated. We ultimately agreed that it was what was best for Phoebe. The last thing I wanted was to be with her when the vet gave her the meds because I knew it would crush me, but again--I wanted to do what was best for Phoebe and I wanted her to feel loved until the very end.

In 2009, one of the women in a MOMS Club that I belonged to said her sister had a stray cat that needed a home. We had just one cat at the time--Chandler--and we decided to take her. She was about a year old and had just gotten spayed (she was pregnant at the time, which breaks my heart). We realized she must have had a rough life--she was missing half of her tail and she had a bb embedded under her skin. The way her tail was bent at the end felt like maybe it had been slammed in a door.

This was the day we brought her home

She was extremely skittish around people (which was understandable) but over time, she warmed up to us. She and Chandler were buddies, too. 

She desperately wanted to be an outdoor cat (coming and going as she pleased) and we let her do that for the first few years. One time, though, she was gone for a long time. I was sure she'd been eaten by a coyote or something in the woods across the street. She obviously made it home alive, but that was probably the closest to death she'd ever experienced. I wrote all about it in this post: "And Then There Were Three". After that, she was strictly an indoor cat, unless we brought her outside on her leash. She was notorious for sneaking out, though!

My absolute favorite thing about Phoebe was this sort of "sixth sense" that she had. I have had a lot of cats in my lifetime, but none of them were as intuitive to others' emotions like Phoebe. She was SO empathetic. Any time she sensed that I was upset about something, she became very insistent about being as close to my face as possible. It was like she could stare right into my soul. She wanted to curl up on my chest and rub her face on mine. It didn't matter where she was in the house or what she was doing; if she heard me crying, she would run to me. I felt a special bond with her because of that.

After my skin removal surgery (and my jaw surgeries), she was glued to my chest

And that's why I wanted to be with her when she went to sleep for the final time. I let Rose hold her on her lap and I just kept stroking her head and telling her it was okay. I wanted to comfort her like she always comforted me. Then the vet pushed the meds into her catheter and I could see her instantly relax. She rested her head in my hand. The vet listened for her heartbeat and told us she was "at peace".

I know that it was best for her, but it was still so hard to do. Phoebe was the cat that just kept coming back. Honestly, when I brought her to the vet that day, I was sure she'd get some fluids and turn right back into the old Phoebe, having given us all a scare again.

I am so glad that we made the decision to let her live with Noah and Rose over the last year. She was SO happy there as an only pet. She didn't have Chick and Duck pestering her all the time and she'd gotten her appetite back. She even gained a little weight. Whenever I visited her, she seemed so content, which made me happy. And I loved to see how spoiled she was.

It's so hard to believe that she was 18 years old. I've never had a pet live that long; Chandler was 14 when he died. Estelle is now 17 and Joey is 11. Where does the time go?

I really will try to write soon, even if I don't have anything positive to say right now. xo

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Skeletons!

I almost forgot about the skeletons post! I have had quite the month. I don't want to get into it here--I do *promise* to write a "real" post next week--because this post is all about the skeletons. Halloween is my very favorite day of the year. I don't have a ton of skeleton photos to share this year, but these ones definitely made me smile. The best part of the displays is seeing the creativity people have.

Valerie B sent me this picture of the cutest skeleton scene! I love that the person took the time not only to set the scene, but to paint the pictures of the skeletons that are posing in the background. Love it!

You know how much I *love* Tom Hanks. So I was thrilled when I saw these pictures from Valerie K. She said she watched all of his movies this summer, so she chose to set up Tom Hanks-themed skeleton scenes. Forrest Gump is my all-time favorite movie, and I definitely recognized Cast Away--love the Wilson ball!

This picture from Tara was taken in Fort Collins, Colorado while she was on a work trip. So funny!

This one is great--I love the idea of the lawn mower, but it's even better with the Wizard of Oz reference! This was sent to me by Stacy in Virginia, who saw it while walking in her neighborhood.

My friend Martine, who fosters dogs, texted this to me. I can't imagine handling all those dogs at once--hahaha, so cute!

Not very long after I got the picture from Martine, I went for a walk with my friend Jen in an area where I've done a lot of races. The park had scarecrows and cute little Halloween decorations from local businesses, and of course I had to get a picture of this skeleton one. It's funny how there are even different dog breeds. 

Another one from the park. I thought this physical therapy business had a fun display...

We continued our walk through some neighborhoods, and I saw this fishing scene...

This is another that was texted to me by a friend, who saw it online and thought of me. Sadly, I didn't get the reference! But to be fair, I'm actually a "Xennial"--born in 1982--so I was a little young to remember. It's from the movie The Neverending Story.

This is a clever decoration in an Aldi that Brenna sent. She said the name tag reads, "Assistant Store Manager"--haha!

Thank you, friends, for humoring me with the skeleton decoration photos. I look forward to seeing all the creative skeleton displays all year long.

Now, I'm going to head out to the garage to pass out candy and hopefully see lots of kids in costumes! It's nice and warm out for Halloween this year. (I really do promise to write by the end of next week.)

For more skeletons, here is last year's post and here is a great one from 2022.

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A Fun Surprise

I've been wanting to write this for a week now, but I've been waiting for a package to be delivered to the recipient before posting about it...

In my last post, I shared a picture of the cat quilt that I made. Amanda, a long-time blog reader who has always been so kind and supportive, said that if I was to ever make a dog quilt, she would "be first in line to order one". When I read that, I started debating if I should offer to make one. I don't typically like to make things to sell because I'm not super confident in my abilities and I would feel really bad if the recipient didn't like it. Also, I only want to make things that I truly enjoy the process of working on--and if I'm doing it to sell, it would feel more like work than fun.

I mentioned Amanda's comment to Jerry, and he said, "You should make it for her as a gift and give it to her as a surprise!" I absolutely LOVED that idea. There is literally nothing that makes me as giddy with excitement like giving someone a gift that I know they will like and appreciate. (I have such a hard time keeping gifts a surprise, too--I always want to give it to them right away, or tell them what it is, haha.)

I bought the fabric and got to working on the quilt right away. (Here is a link to the pattern, if anyone is interested.) I ended up getting COVID, which wasn't fun, but since I couldn't go anywhere or be around other people, I had plenty of time to work on the quilt. I worked on it every spare moment and I love how it turned out. I used different color backgrounds for each block and I like the color scheme more than my cat one!

I really like the backing, and I did a much better job at the quilting part... my stitches were (mostly) even and it only took me one try (it took three for the cat one).

This dog was my favorite :)

Duck's favorite part about helping me quilt is when I lay it out on the floor to pin it and get it ready to quilt...

I was super excited to ship it to Amanda, but I was also very nervous because I would be crushed if it got damaged or lost in the mail after working so hard on it. I researched the best shipping carrier for something like this and UPS was the winner (the best reputation for getting things to their destination without getting lost or damaged). Also, I didn't really trust USPS because when I made a million masks and shipped them in early COVID days, only about half of them reached their destinations.

I had some leftover fabric from the backing, so I even made a cute little bag for it...

I took it to the UPS Store a week ago last Thursday, and I had them package it for me--again, I wanted to make sure it was done right! Normally, I wouldn't talk about the cost of things when it comes to a gift, but it's kind of relevant here. The shipping was $20-ish, and the box was $10.50(!), "packaging materials" $2.00, and the "labor" of packaging $2.00. I was shocked at the cost of the box and the person working there told me I could send it in an envelope for cheaper, but I told her, "No, I don't care how much it costs--I just want to make sure it gets there undamaged." She asked me what the value of the contents was, and I joked, "Blood, sweat, and tears". Anyway, she reassured me that it would get there safely and it would be delivered last Saturday.

I was SO EXCITED for it to get there. On Saturday, I looked at the tracking online and it said: "Package damaged, returned to sender". I immediately burst into tears. I've been going through a lot of emotional stuff lately (I seriously feel like I'm reliving two years ago) and I couldn't believe this was happening. They didn't include a picture or tell me if the quilt itself was damaged or anything. And it wasn't going to arrive back here until Tuesday. So I had to just sit and wait for three days, imagining the quilt I worked so hard on arriving in shreds.

On Tuesday, it was delivered to the UPS Store, so I had to go there to check it out. When she showed me the box, I was a little relieved because it looked like it was just the box that was damaged. But then I saw the "15x12x10" box I paid $10.50 for, and I was pissed. It was actually two small boxes smushed together and taped. And there were zero "packaging materials" (I'm assuming bubble wrap?). THEN, I was told that they couldn't give me a refund on shipping because I would have to file a claim online. And if I wanted to reship it, I would have to pay the $34-ish dollars again!

This is how it looked when I picked it up.

I said no way, and decided to take it to USPS and hope for the best (if the quilt was intact). First, though, I brought it out to the car and opened the "box". I was SO relieved to see that the quilt was okay. The greeting card, however, was sliced in half--missing the envelope and the other half of the card. I wondered how on earth they sliced the card when it was in the box?! (I thought maybe it started in a different box, which they cut open with a box cutter, damaging the card and then smushing it into the makeshift box? Dunno. Neither did the employee.)

But I stopped and got a new card, then took the quilt to USPS. I bought a box there (the same size as the one I paid for at UPS) and the total for the box and 2-day shipping was only $17. I gladly paid for it and just prayed it would make it to Amanda. The estimated delivery was on Thursday (yesterday).

When I got home from the post office, I went online to file a claim with UPS. I tried for a long time but it just wasn't allowing me to do so. I was finally able to chat with someone who told me that the claim has to be filed by the person who printed the label--which would be the UPS Store that I shipped it from.

I was ready to tear my hair out at that point, because the store had told me I had to do it online. I called the store and spoke with the manager--she was super helpful and filed the claim for me. I haven't heard anything about the claim status yet, but at least it's out of my hands now.

On Wednesday evening, I got a message from USPS saying "Your package was unable to be delivered due to incomplete address..." I almost started crying (again) when it hit me that I get that exact text once in a while and it's a spam text that wants you to click on the link. That was a relief--of all the times for me to get that spam text, that was the worst.

So anyway, all day yesterday I was watching the tracking and my email, just hoping it would get to Amanda. And last night, I was SO relieved to see that it did! Amanda was surprised and thrilled with the quilt and sent me this pic with her two dogs...

It was super fun to work on, and like I said, I love the background colors. I feel like I aged quite a bit in the last week while I worried about it making its way to Amanda, haha--but it made my heart very happy!

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Summer

It's so hard to believe that summer is over. I only wrote a few posts; the time went by so fast. It's been an emotional summer for sure, and I think that is due to a lot of the changes around my house recently--Noah moving out, Jerry's drastically different work schedule, Eli graduating high school, both of the kids working full-time (with Jerry, no less!), our car situation, and some other things. I'm still trying to get used to it.

Rather than totally overwhelming myself by trying to "catch up" here, I thought I'd just go through my photos from the summer and try to write about some key things (or just random thoughts). I actually don't have a lot of pictures! Since I haven't been blogging, I drastically reduced the number of pictures I've been taking. I wish I had taken more, if only for my own memories.

Anyway, here goes...

*Remember when I wrote about how I was FINALLY growing Asian pears after probably 10+ years of trying? I was so excited! Well, I went out to look at them one day and they were just completely gone. Vanished, overnight. There wasn't even a trace of them left. I officially give up. I hate getting my hopes up every year and then being disappointed, so I am not even going to think about it anymore. I'll just continue to buy them when I see them somewhere and enjoy them all the more.

*I got a new rug for the living room. Exciting, right? Haha. The other one was definitely worn, but it was also a pet hair magnet. Joey liked to lie down on it and even vacuuming daily, it was ridiculous how much hair accumulated. I got this shag rug and I love it! I was worried it would be hard to clean, but it vacuums easily.

*My friend Sarah came to visit from Arizona and I went to her mom's house to see her (and her husband and kids). A friend of mine had told me about a fun, sneaky thing to do in random places--stick a pair of googly eyes somewhere inconspicuous. I brought some with me to Sarah's because I thought her kids might have fun finding a place to put them to "prank" their grandma. They chose to put them on their school portraits--haha! They were SO excited for her to notice that they could barely hold in their giggles. When grandma noticed, she found it hilarious.

*Luke and Riley came over and wanted to play with the skeletons. I couldn't think of something more boring, but they loved them! Riley even danced with one. (By the way, I'd love to put together a post of skeleton Halloween decorations again this year. I'm not sure how many people are still reading my blog, but if you have any skeleton decoration photos to share, you can email them to me and if I get enough for a post, I'll compile them when it gets closer to Halloween: Katie (at) runsforcookies (dot) com.

*I did a LOT of sewing this summer. Like, probably a completely abnormal amount. But it's helped with all the emotional stuff I've had going on. I really love making bags, but one can only have so many bags... so I branched out to other things. I will have to do an entirely separate post (or series) of those projects, though--there are too many. The cats absolutely love everything to do with my sewing. I even built a little shelf to go on the windowsill in the sewing room and Duck sleeps on his bed there when I sew.

*My brother had his annual July party. I asked Luke if he would drive me around on his little... side-by-side? I don't know what to call it. It's smaller than a side-by-side, safer than a four-wheeler. Anyway, he drove me around the property, which was fun. I told him that I'd bet if he would give people a ride from their cars to the backyard, he might earn some tips... and he sighed and said, "I've been driving people around all day and I just want to enjoy the party!" I thought that was hilarious--he's seven.

*My dad sent me this text (out of nowhere) and I thought it was really sweet. The top of it is cut off, but it's that giant magnet that was on the side of our Ragnar Relay van in 2013 (when the From Fat to Finish Line documentary was filmed). There was a magnet for each person on our team and this one has been on my parents' garage refrigerator ever since.

*I painted the "craft room" (since Noah moved out, I converted the extra bedroom to my craft room). I used leftover paint from Eli's room and I was so sure I'd have enough... but I ran out with just a small part of the wall left. I didn't want to buy another gallon if I could help it, and then I found a nearly-full gallon of the aviary blue paint that I used for the pantry. I used that instead, and I love it! It looks so bright in there.

I also removed the carpet (it was seriously SO gross--I didn't even want to share a "before" photo). Jerry installed the plank flooring. It still needs some shelves and things on the walls, but I'll just do that over time. I made do with what I already had, including a makeshift table made from simply setting a wide board over a couple of small nightstands. It's not pretty, but it works!

*A picture of Jerry and the kids at work. They have different jobs inside of the plant, but they still see each other a lot. It still feels so odd to me that they all work in the same place! (The kids only plan to stay there for a year while they save up money and figure out what they really want to do.)

*I went of my first airplane flight since 2019. I used to rely on wine to get me through flights (I hate flying) but since I quit drinking in 2021, I just had to white-knuckle it through the flight. Thankfully, the flight was super short... I just flew into the upper peninsula to go visit Jeanie and Shawn. The airport I flew into was absolutely TINY. This picture is of the entire airport! 

It rained the entire time I was there, but I only went so I could visit with Jeanie and Shawn, so the rain didn't bother me. And I actually lost seven pounds, hahaha. My being vegan, Jeanie thoughtfully asked what I'd like from the store. I was only going to be there for five days, so I chose a very minimal menu: Larabars for breakfast, peanut butter toast and apples for lunch, vegan "chicken" nuggets and apples for dinner. I didn't feel deprived at all and it made me realize just how much my evening snacking was hindering my weight loss. (I gained back the weight when I got home, unfortunately, but I haven't gained any more.) It was a good, relaxing visit!

*This completely freaked me out one morning. I was going to put some peanuts in the squirrel lunchbox and to my surprise, there was a raccoon right next to the door! Raccoons are the number one carrier of rabies in the States and to see them out during the day is extremely uncommon. Each time I started to open the door to scare it off, it started to come at me. By the time I got my phone to call the DNR, though, it was gone. I haven't seen it again.

[This reminds of a comment I got one time. I was out for a run and I saw a raccoon acting very oddly (again, during the day). I decided to call the DNR when I got back from my run (I didn't have my phone with me). It was gone on my way back. I wrote about it on my blog, and someone who had always been super nice left a comment saying that I should have taken off my shirt and wrapped the raccoon in it and take it to get help. She was so angry that she said she was done reading my blog. Haha! First, I am not taking off my shirt in public unless someone is bleeding out and in dire need of a tourniquet and my shirt is the ONLY option to save their life; second, I don't want rabies? Anyway, she followed through--I never heard from her again.]

*Jerry and I celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary last month. The night before, we both said we wish we'd have gotten gifts for each other (we had agreed not to). At that moment, we decided to order each other something from Amazon--but we had rules: 1) It had to be next-day delivery 2) It had to cost less than $25. So, we sat scrolling on our phones--it was actually pretty fun!--and at some point, one of us suggested we get each other a Squishmallow. I chose this alien from Toy Story for Jerry (we like to say the quote from the movie sometimes, "You saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.") Jerry chose this little girl from Monsters, Inc. because her name is Boo! (He calls me Boo. It was perfect.) It was a fun gift exchange!

*Jerry and I went to Eastern Market in Detroit a few weeks ago. I always love going there! We bought a ton of produce and made it a mission to use it all before it went bad. The cats were thrilled that I brought back some cat grass for them. I've tried growing it myself, but it never turns out like this.

*Since Noah moved out, and with Eli likely moving out within the next couple of years, I wanted to start a tradition where we have a plan for them to come over every other Sunday for a super casual dinner and something small but fun to do. They liked the idea, and they (and their girlfriends) came over. We made individual pizzas and then had a fire outside. The wheelbarrow was next to the fire pit and we ended up doing a wheelbarrow race and timing each other. It was so fun!

Then Noah sat on Rose's lap and I thought it would be funny if she was his arms to eat his plum and drink his pop. Basically, she put her arms under his and made the eating and drinking motions while Noah couldn't use his. They actually did pretty good!

*My Uncle Ron (my dad's brother) and his partner, Renee, came to visit from Florida. I rarely see them, but he is so fun to talk to (he's had quite the life--I would love to write a memoir for him!). He and Jerry went to a Tigers game, and then we met up with him and Renee afterward. I wish I'd thought to take a picture with him--I don't know that I have a single one. He loves to tell every single person that he comes across, "Hi, I'm Ron from Florida!" and he's so personable that people love to chat with him.

*I don't have a picture to share for this one, considering the privacy circumstances, but remember how I said I discovered a first cousin via 23&Me? They were placed for adoption and nobody in the family knew they existed until I took this test. We had been talking since January, and last week, they came to visit and meet in person! It was really fun getting to know them and we plan to stay in touch.

*Brian took Luke, Riley, and my parents to Alaska. They had a great time! Becky sent me some pictures and I was sure that Brian had probably photoshopped this bear into the picture... but nope, it was real.

*I know I said I'll do a separate post for my sewing projects, but I am pretty proud of this one, so I'll share it here. I made a quilt! I've never really had the interest in picking up quilting (and I still don't, really) but when I saw this pattern I couldn't resist. And it was a simple, beginner pattern--a quilt-as-you-go appliqué technique.

I think my favorite cat is the one in the seventh row, fourth from the left--I don't know why, but I was just drawn to that one.

I learned that 1) quilting gets VERY expensive very quickly, even for a thrifty person like me, and 2) it's so much harder to do the actual quilting part (sewing the backing to the quilt top) than I thought. I was surprised at how time consuming the binding (the orange border) was; it's actually done by hand so that the stitches aren't visible. It took me 11 hours!! I'm sure for an experienced quilter, it wouldn't even take half that time. But I actually enjoyed that part the most out of the entire project. It was relaxing and I got to watch like 15 episodes of Evil Lives Here while I worked on it, hahaha.

Here is the binding. I just have to show it because I feel like I did a good job and where else can I give myself a pat on the back?

This was a great first quilt--there is no intricate piecing and I chose to make the outlines on each cat "scribbly" looking. It's meant to look odd and a little messy, so my mistakes--and there are several--aren't so noticeable. It has character ;)

Before it was done, I swore it would be the only quilt I ever make. And when I finished it, I was already looking at Pinterest for other quilt ideas! It's kind of like racing... while training for a marathon, you swear it's a one-and-done race. And then as soon as you cross the finish line, you're already planning the next one. Anyway, I love how this quilt turned out--it's not an "heirloom" quilt by any means, but it's fun and definitely fits my personality!

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