Friday Night Photos

It's Friday already, and this week has flown by! I had a few appointments this week, which always throw off my schedule, and one of them was with my psychiatrist. I was really sad that it was my last appointment with him; he's retiring this month.

I can't even describe how grateful I am to him for literally saving my life. I was at such a low point mentally and he was my last hope. I remember sitting in the parking lot before my first appointment... I planned to listen to every word and follow his advice, regardless of what I thought of it.

When he diagnosed me with bipolar, I thought he was crazy! But he patiently explained it to me, and told me why my antidepressants didn't work for me; I needed to be on a mood stabilizer. So we tried out a new medication, and literally four days later, I started to feel like a completely different person. It was AMAZING.

He is the kindest psychiatrist I could have asked for and I am so happy that he was a part of my life for the last five and a half years. I thanked him, trying not to get too emotional, and wished him well on his retirement. Next month, I will see a new psychiatrist to get established with him and hopefully not have any breaks from my medication regimen.

Anyway, I have a mishmash of pictures this week. Some of them I've already posted throughout the week...

First, Noah bought a new (used) car yesterday with his own hard-earned money. He is VERY into cars and he's been researching them for the longest time. He's only 18 years old, but he saved up nearly $6,000 for a down payment. The car was about three hours away in Ohio, so earlier this week, he dove down there to check it out and see if he wanted it. Then he came home and applied for a loan at the credit union. All went well, so Noah, Jerry, and my dad (who has been an auto mechanic his entire life) went down there to pick it up. My dad approved, and all was good! Noah is THRILLED with it!

I was trying to write my blog post and (as always) Duck insisted on sitting on my lap. He drives me CRAZY. If I don't look at him, he presses his paw right on my face. I have to constantly crane my neck to see over him while I'm typing. Still, though, I don't have the heart to make him get off.

These are just a couple more pictures from last Friday. I didn't see them until Jerry sent them to me today. This first pic (collage) is from when Riley did my make-up.

And this picture is when I was reading to Luke. He loves to learn about how things work and why things are the way there, so I bought this book of 1,111 questions that give detailed answers (with lots of pictures). Since I give Riley a charm for her necklace every time I see her, I thought it would be fun to do something with Luke, too. So I let him choose a couple of questions and we read thought those.

This picture is my latest project piece. It's a Pottery Barn console that I picked up from Facebook Marketplace for cheap and I planned to paint it. So spent a couple of days working on that...

And here is the before and after! You can see the details on this post from a couple of days ago.

I turned it on when I went to bed that night. With the room being black and all the lights off, this is all you could see. It was awesome!

And speaking of my room, I got new shades for the windows today. They are blackout blinds and I am thrilled not to have the slats to clean. I'm hoping these will clean easily with a vacuum attachment.

I stopped at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore to look for a light fixture, and I found this one for $10. It was perfect for what I was looking for! I love it. I might miss the ceiling fan eventually, but I don't mind. I thought it was an eyesore.

I was VERY unsure about painting the bedroom black--especially the ceiling!--but I'm really happy with my choice. The more we get done, the more I love it.

And finally, my next short project piece... a dining room table!

Our current one is probably 20 years old and I had bought it for $5 at a garage sale! It's just too small for us to play board games or build puzzles or whatnot, so I wanted a bigger table. We found this one on Marketplace, so I'm going to refinish it like I've done with the other pieces. I haven't decided what color to paint it yet--I'm thinking either white, dark gray, the same light blue as the cabinets, or I could go with the previous color of orange. I'm leaning toward dark gray with light gray chairs.

Okay, time to work on the bedroom a little more. Have a great weekend! xo

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Three Things Thursday: Weight Loss

After yesterday's post, I thought it would be fitting to do a Three Things Thursday about weight loss. Even just reminding myself of these is helpful when trying to lose weight! Here goes:

Three things that helped me get started:

1) Making a pact with my sister. She asked me to do Weight Watchers with her and we would talk every evening to check in and see how it was going. I didn't want to let her down, so I stuck with it. (When I lost 100 pounds, she even treated me to a fun makeover! We got our hair, nails, and make-up done :)

2) A DietBet. As much as I really dislike the whole concept and the way it's executed, I have to admit that it helped me get back on track when I needed it. There is something about those weigh-ins that keeps me motivated.

3) Making a plan. Writing out a meal plan for the week and making sure I have all of the groceries to cook the meals I choose. I also try to make the meals as simple as possible so that I don't get overwhelmed that first week.

Three things that I found really difficult while losing weight:

1) Social situations were hard; not because of the food that was available, but because people would constantly ask why you weren't eating this or that, and surely one little bite won't hurt, etc.

This picture was from my BEST birthday ever! When I turned 30, Renee and Rachael organized a surprise 30th birthday party for me with our "Winers" group of girlfriends. I literally had ZERO idea it was happening and it was such a fun surprise!

2) Changes in my routine. I am a very routine, stick-to-the-schedule person, and I feel very "off" when I stray from that for some reason. On days that I had appointments, for example, I wasn't able to eat at the times that were most comfortable for me, so I would have to rearrange things. Or when the kids had sports games, I had to try to cook dinner around that. Basically, I wish I could be more flexible when it comes to my routine!

3) Dealing with cravings or urges to binge. Binge eating is a beast in and of itself and has to be dealt with differently. But cravings are just temporary thoughts that won't go away, usually triggered by smells or photos of food. When the urge is very strong, it's super hard to say no!

Three things that I found very rewarding:

1) Fitting into smaller jeans sizes. I started in a size 24, and the lowest I'd been in my adult life was a size 14 (I may have been a 12 for a minute). I loved being able to fit into the next size down. I started with a pair of jeans that were one size too small (so, a size 22 at the time). I tried them on each week until I could button and zip them. Then I bought a pair a size smaller (20) and tried them on each week until they fit. And so on... I did this all the way down until I wore a size 4! It was crazy. I turned all of my too-big jeans into a large denim quilt.

2) I stopped being too self-conscious to have my photo taken. I used to delete photos of myself as soon as I saw them because I was horrified at how fat I looked. I loved being able to be in photos and feel good about myself, even when I wasn't at my thinnest--if I was eating right and feeling healthy, I didn't mind having my photo taken.

3) This sounds odd, but I actually started to feel feminine--I always wanted to feel like a "girly girl" when I was in high school and college. For some reason, I just felt unworthy of wearing cute clothes (if I could even find any in my size!) and I felt like wearing make-up and doing my hair was a waste of time because people would never see me as feminine; I felt like a sexless blob. And I wanted to look girly! As I lost weight, I started to take better care of my appearance, which made me feel a million times better. And I actually felt pretty for probably the first time in my life. I even treated myself (and Jerry, I guess! haha) to my first teddy from Victoria's Secret.

Three things that I would say to others who are getting started:

1) It's going to be hard. If you expect it to be easy, you will be very disappointed. Losing weight involves changing up habits that you probably spent a lifetime building. But it's worth every sacrifice. And then the new habits don't feel so hard.

2) It's never-ending. There is no finish line. As you can see from my post yesterday, I always have to watch my weight because I've never been able to figure out maintenance. It's so easy to give up, or just "take a break"--but then that leads to weight gain and you're right back where you started. You truly have to view it as a lifetime commitment.

3) Only make changes you're willing to make for the rest of your life. This is ALWAYS my first piece of advice! Here is a detailed post about what I wish I knew when I was losing weight.

And there you go! I really ought to go back to some old posts and update them or rewrite them--just reading some of my old posts helps me to remember WHY all of the planning and headache is worth it in the long run. I feel better physically and mentally when I am "thin" (by "thin", I mean at a comfortable weight for me). Sometimes it's easy to forget that!

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Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 80

Ugh, I'm going to get right to the point... I am not posting a weigh-in today.

I had a really terrible week as far as my eating goes, and I just didn't want to face the scale this morning. I did promise myself that I will weigh in next week, though, no matter what. I don't want this bad week to turn into quitting my Wednesday accountability posts altogether; just the fact that I'm writing this is more than I would have done in the past.

I just feel that, mentally, I needed a break from the scale this week. Maybe it's not as bad as I imagine, or maybe it's worse... I have no idea. But I want a week to try my best to break the bad snacking habits. Hopefully, I'll feel better going into a weigh-in next week.

For now, though, I want to write out my thoughts as to what could be the problem with my weight going up. These are some ideas I have:

1) I was under a ton of pressure and felt extremely overwhelmed for a few months, and my appetite all-but disappeared. Once things started calming down, my appetite returned tenfold and now maybe it's making up for lost time.

2) I haven't been eating the amount of fiber I was before. I was all about fiber all year, and then in August, when Jerry started eating a vegan diet, things changed. I wanted to make meals that we would both enjoy-- and eating barley instead of rice, or adding vegetables to pretty much everything, just wasn't Jerry's jam. He never said he didn't want it, but I know his likes/dislikes, so I catered to them. And in turn, it resulted in less fiber overall.

3) I started to really enjoy cooking again. I like to try several new recipes a week, and my meals aren't as simple as they used to be. When I first became vegan, it felt like I eliminated a LOT of food from my diet; but now that my eyes have opened to the world of possibilities in vegan cooking, I feel like I eat a bigger variety of food than I ever have in my life! A dramatized analogy would be if you ate nothing but oatmeal your entire life and you didn't even know other foods existed; then, one day, someone let you loose in an enormous grocery store. You'd want to try everything! That's how I am feeling right now with vegan food.

I'm guessing it's probably some combination of all three of these. I talked about it with my therapist again yesterday and she offered a couple more suggestions for "homework". As a person who loves to write lists, I really liked the idea of writing a pro/con list--to list the pros and cons of choosing to overeat as well as the pros and cons of choosing NOT to overeat. It sounds really simple, but I think writing it down will help me to think about it better than just trying to keep the list in my thoughts.

It definitely helped me today when I was at the grocery store. I had to pick up a couple of things for dinner and I was tempted to buy Biscoff cookies (Biscoff cookies are vegan, can you believe it?). I thought about the pros and cons that I'd written down and was able to skip the cookies (just barely, but I did it! haha).

Last night, I wrote out a meal plan for the week and entered the recipes into Cronometer (a food tracking app). Cronometer is very helpful for seeing a full nutrition breakdown--showing not just macronutrients, but micronutrients as well. I figured it wouldn't hurt to log my food for a few weeks to see where all of my calories are going. I don't even know how many calories I eat these days! With my weight climbing, the food log could be helpful in figuring out the big contributing factors.

Anyway, even though I had a really rough week of trying to break the bad habits, I do feel good going into this week. My therapy session was helpful yesterday, and I feel prepared to do my best to turn things around this week. No matter how it goes, though, I'm going to do a weigh-in next week!

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A Fast and Fun Furniture Makeover

It's no secret that I love Pottery Barn furniture. I had never been to a Pottery Barn store or even seen their furniture until I bought a piece via Facebook Marketplace several years ago. I was really surprised at how good the quality was, considering Pottery Barn is a chain retailer.

(Does anyone remember that Friends episode where Rachel bought an apothecary table from Pottery Barn "a flea market", that was made in the "days of yore"? Hahaha. This video shows the storyline in four minutes, if you're looking for a laugh!)

After buying that piece, I started looking for more on Marketplace. There was no way that I would ever spend the retail price at Pottery Barn--it's insanely expensive--but the quality of the furniture was so good that I started seeking it out. I found pieces that were all scratched up and paid a fraction of the retail cost, then I sanded and painted them.

I LOVE my coffee table and living room console. I bought the pair of these for $100 total! The hardware alone would have cost half that.

I removed the glass from the console doors and replaced with wood, then sanded everything down and painted it (including the hardware). I LOVE how they turned out! Here are the before and after pictures:

After that, I wanted to do more. Our house is not huge, however, so there really wasn't room (or a need) for more.

About a year ago, I decided we needed to get shelves or cabinets or something in the master bathroom. The cabinet we had in there was very tall and skinny (and of poor quality), and it was hard to store anything in there. So I started looking for a piece of Pottery Barn furniture for the bathroom.

I found a piece on Marketplace and thought it would work perfectly. It was another console, but I knew it would work for what we needed. I can't remember how much I paid for it, but I know it couldn't have been more than $100. It wasn't in great shape and I really hated the drawer pulls.

I knew I wanted to change out the hardware and remove the glass from the doors like I had with the other one. I was busy with other projects, though, and I just didn't take the time to paint it--so we'd been using it like that for a year.

Now that we are remodeling the bedroom and bathroom after the water damage disaster, I decided it's time that I painted this thing! I knew I didn't have quarter-inch plywood for the doors, and even though it would have been no big deal to go buy some, I had an idea pop into my mind.

Our previous living room console had a fake fireplace in it. I liked that part of it because the lighting that it gave off at night was cozy. I didn't like the actual console, however, and the quality of it wasn't great. It was constantly getting nicks in it. When I refinished the Pottery Barn console, we moved the fireplace one into the garage.

Anyway, when looking at this current piece, I had the idea that maybe I could take off the doors and remove the shelf, then put the fireplace into that space. It looked like it would be a tight fit, but I measured a few times and it was pretty much perfect.

So, I removed all the hardware from the Pottery Barn console, cleaned it really well with TSP, and lightly sanded just the top. (Sanding really hurts my carpal tunnel, so I hoped the TSP would work well enough that I wouldn't need to sand the whole thing--and thankfully, it did!)

This is what the top looked like before sanding:

After that, I primed it with Kilz, and then painted with leftover Sherwin Williams oil-based paint in Spare White (the paint I used for the other furniture and for our molding). I dug around in the garage for some knobs that I knew I had from our previous cabinets, and I attached those to the drawers.

Finally, I removed the fireplace from the old console (it was only held in by four small screws) and carefully placed it into the freshly-painted console. I was so excited that it fit perfectly and I love how it looks!

Here is the before and after:

The flames aren't real, obviously, but I love the light that they give. And there is an electric heating element to warm our bedroom--you know I'm always freezing. (We're keeping this in the bedroom now that we have a closet in the bathroom.)

This was a very fast and easy project, and the result is better than I imagined. There is still a lot to do in the bedroom, but it's starting to come along now!

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VEGAN RECIPE REVIEW: Chocolate Pumpkin Loaf

Thank you for the feedback on yesterday's post about the whole-food plant-based diet! I should have clarified that the diet isn't meant to be low-fat; rather than coming from refined oils, the dietary fat comes from nuts, seeds, avocados, tofu, coconut, etc. I like the idea of eating whole foods, but cutting out oils would be *really* tough (which is what prompted yesterday's post). The feedback was helpful and kind of validated my own thoughts about the oil and salt; I think I might keep a food log this month just to see where my calories are coming from. With my weight climbing, I want to know what I can do to stop it!

Actually, this post might even answer that question, hahaha. After flipping through the Forks Over Knives cookbook, I settled on this dessert recipe for Chocolate Pumpkin Loaf (a quick bread) to review--it just sounded so good, and I happened to have all of the ingredients (except chocolate chips) on hand. So, while I normally review recipes exactly as written, this one will be as written except for the chocolate chips.

This recipe can also be found on the Forks Over Knives website. (I'll link to it again at the end of the post.) It's not a healthy recipe per se, but relative to the average quick bread, I'd say it's healthier. I could have used a better sweetener than plain old sugar, but I've been using up what I have at home.

Forgive the lighting on all of these photos. I made this in the evening when it was dark outside, so the artificial light caused shadows and terribly bright highlights.

First, the ingredients:

Applesauce, cocoa powder, all-purpose flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, baking soda, salt, pumpkin purée, dry sweetener (I used sugar), almond butter, vanilla extract, and chocolate chips (which I did not use).

I have a good non-stick loaf pan, so there was no need to prep the pan with oil or parchment paper. I set the oven to pre-heat and then started a kettle of water to boil (per the recipe directions). I thought that was a little odd, but intriguing. (I made vegan brownies before from a recipe that had me use boiling water as well, so there must be something to it.)

I have an electric kettle for tea, so I started that.

Then, you combine the applesauce and cocoa powder in a mixing bowl. It makes a very thick paste.

In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, spices, baking soda, and salt.

Then you measure out 1/3 cup of boiling water and add it to the bowl with the cocoa powder and applesauce. Quickly stir together so that it makes a smooth chocolate sauce. (But don't pour out the boiling water from the kettle, because you'll need it again. I learned this the hard way.)

To the chocolate sauce, you add the pumpkin, sugar, almond butter, and vanilla.

It will look like chocolate cake batter:

Then, you add half of the flour mixture and stir just to incorporate, followed by a tablespoon of boiling water. Then repeat: the other half of the flour mixture and then a tablespoon of boiling water. (You can pour out the boiling water at this point, because you won't need it anymore.)

After adding all of the flour and water and stirring just until uniform, it will look like this:

This is when you would normally add the chocolate chips if you're using them. Pour the batter into a loaf pan and bake at 350 F for 55-60 minutes.

I set my timer for 55 minutes and checked it with a toothpick. It came out clean, so I pulled it out then. It looked delicious!

Jerry and I impatiently waited for it to cool before cutting into it. And it was worth the wait--it tasted just as good as I'd hoped.

From the picture, it looks like it's on the dry side, but wasn't dry at all. It was dense and had the texture of your average quick bread. The flavor was exactly as you'd expect from the spices--it had a mild pumpkin bread taste, but chocolatey! I can only imagine how good it would be with chocolate chips (I'm going to be sure to try that next time). But honestly, I think it was really good even without the chocolate chips. I would make it again for sure.

Normally, I like peanut butter on pumpkin bread, but after trying it with this Chocolate Pumpkin Loaf, I found I liked it better without the peanut butter; the peanut butter overpowered the other flavors.

I really liked this (as did the family!) and I'll definitely make it again. You can find the recipe on the Forks Over Knives website.

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Harder Than I Thought!

After my recent attempt at doing the 75 Hard challenge and then subsequently quitting, I really wanted to set a more "doable" goal for December. Just 31 days of something that required effort, but not too challenging. So, I decided to try eating only whole foods for the month.

This nifty little chart from the Forks Over Knives website explains the difference between a vegan diet, a plant-based diet, and a whole-food plant-based diet:

Being vegan, I already don't eat animal products. And I thought I was eating mostly whole foods--everything I was making was so much healthier than the things I used to eat, and I haven't been eating many pre-packaged foods (other than a few things that have only whole food ingredients--like Grape Nuts, which have four simple ingredients). And I have occasional vegan "junk" food, but nowhere near as often as I used to.

Anyway, the day before I started this challenge, I was making a menu for the month and as I was reading about a whole-foods plant-based diet online, I discovered that oils and salt aren't included! (A very small amount of sea salt may be used.) This may not sound like a big deal, but I use oil and salt in almost everything when I cook. I make oil-based marinades for tofu, which is my favorite food; I use sesame oil in a lot of the Asian sauces I make; I sauté and roast vegetables with olive oil; I even use coconut oil when I bake.

Edit: I should have clarified that you can still get plenty of fat in your diet--with whole-food plant-based eating, you're just aiming to get fat from nuts, seeds, avocados, coconut, etc., rather than refined oils. I eat a LOT of fat on a vegan diet, mostly from nuts and seeds (but also from oil!).

Still, I wanted to give this a try. I got a new non-stick skillet (which I am going to hide from my family, so it *stays* non-stick! haha) and the Forks Over Knives cookbook (all whole-food plant-based recipes). I felt prepared.

Then the day I started, I felt totally lost! I was realizing that several ingredients I use for various dishes don't actually fit into the whole-food plant-based diet. To do this would require a huge overhaul of most of the recipes I've been enjoying.

I wanted to quit the whole idea, because it was overwhelming; however, I was embarrassed to quit because I'd just quit 75 Hard. I really do want to try to work my way toward eating the healthiest I can, so came up with a compromise: For December, I'll start learning a some different cooking techniques (like cooking without oil, and learning substitutes for foods that aren't whole-food plant-based) and I'll try some new recipes from the Forks Over Knives cookbook.

In January, I'll start with a small goal like like sautéing vegetables in water instead of oil, while still using oil in things like marinades and sauces. Then in February, I can try another small change, like cutting back on salt. Doing it this way, rather than diving right in, will probably work better for me. A lot of times, I *like* jumping right into a big change; but this is just overwhelming. Especially because I was expecting it to be much easier than it is! If not for the salt and oil, I would have no problem with it.

I made tofu a couple of days ago without using the oil-based marinade, and it definitely wasn't as good. It was kind of dry and there wasn't much flavor, since I also didn't add salt. So I'm going to try out some recipes this month that have different techniques (either for marinades or preparation) to avoid the oil and see if I can find something I like. I can also cut back on the amount of oil I use, and maybe I'll start to get used to it.

The Forks Over Knives cookbook looks like a great resource and I think it will be fun trying some new ingredients and techniques for cooking in order to make things whole-food plant-based. While I can certainly see myself being vegan forever, I don't think it's realistic to aim for only eating a strict whole-food vegan diet. Reading "How Not To Die" by Dr. Michael Greger (Amazon affiliate link) has me motivated to make some healthy changes, though. I just learned that I need to do it gradually if I have any shot at making it stick! (or *not* stick, in the case of sautéing without oil, hahaha)

I think something that I have a very hard time with is all-or-nothing thinking. I'm either all-in or not at all. It's something I *know* is a problem, especially when it comes to diet, so I think it'll be good for me to find a good compromise!

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(Belated) Friday Night Photos

The past couple of days have been so crazy! I probably won't get this done in time to post by 10:00 like I usually do, but it's been a fun couple of days. Jeanie and Shawn decided to take a last-minute trip out here (from Illinois) and I haven't seen them in a while--it was fun to get together with them.

Yesterday, my parents, Jeanie, Shawn, Nathan, Jerry, Noah, Eli, and I went to Brian and Becky's house for dinner. It's become rare to see all three of my siblings at the same time, so I was looking forward to it. When we got there, I let Riley pick out a charm for her necklace.

[Earlier this year, I went to a garage sale and found a bag with a ton of charms. It was only $1, and its had Riley's name written all over it. I gave her one of the chains and told her that every time I see her, I'll let her pick out a charm.]

I asked if I could take her picture with the charm necklace, and this is how she posed--hahaha! (Clearly, she clearly had been playing with her make-up kit.)

She had already done Jeanie's make-up (Jeanie made sure to let me know that her face looked so pretty because Riley applied the make-up!) and she wanted to do my make-up, too. Of course she could. 

Apparently, she wasn't as careful applying my lipstick as she was with Jeanie's. As for the rest of my face, Jerry said it just looked like I got stung by a bee, haha.

Riley also asked Jerry and Nathan if she could do their make-up as well. Nothing says "I'm a good sport" like allowing your four-year old niece to put make-up on your face! (And paint your nails.)

Riley's "Jerry face"

Lucky Uncle Nathan

Naturally, my mom had the idea for a family photo only AFTER we had our make-up done! (Brian took the photo with his camera, so I don't have it.)

Noah and Eli have been hanging out quite a bit recently, and I love that. They don't have much (if anything) in common, so I like it when I see them talking and laughing together. I asked if I could take their picture; I love my boys <3 

Noah always surprises me with how good he is with kids. He says he doesn't want kids, but he likes Luke and Riley because "they talk like adults". Brian and Becky never used "baby talk" with them, so they really do have conversations like little adults! They had so much fun chasing Noah all over the house.

I walked into the living room to talk to Jeanie and I did a double-take when I saw what appeared to be the lower half of a body lying there. I burst out laughing because, well, who expects to see that? Jeanie is an occupational therapist and she had this amputee torso in her car because she teaches people how to wrap their residual limbs after surgery. Riley wants to be "a nurse like her mom", so Jeanie thought it might be fun for Riley to learn how to wrap, too. (Jeanie said she stores the bandages in the underwear--she wasn't trying to stuff them, haha)

Before leaving, Riley had one more makeover to do--on Jeanie's hair.

Jeanie and I made plans to run together this morning, but it was SO WINDY that it woke me up--I could hear branches hitting the sides and roof of the house, and then it sounded like a freight train was outside. So, we didn't end up running.

I went over to my parents house to see them again today (they're leaving tomorrow morning). I was eager to talk to Shawn and hear about his rehab experience (Jeanie actually did a guest post about what it's like when you're husband is in rehab--you can find that on this post). We sat down to chat, and the next thing I knew, it was three hours later and everyone was going to bed! So I didn't get a good chance to catch up with Jeanie. However, she mentioned that we should go out and visit them soon--I've been wanting to go for months, but things were crazy here for a while. I think we're going to try to go later this month.

I only have a few other photos from this past week and they are totally out of place here, so I'll just save them for Friday. Have a great weekend! xo

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