Sweet 16

As I start this post, it was exactly 16 years ago that I was in the hospital being induced into labor to deliver Noah. Tomorrow night at this time, it'll be 16 years to the minute that I was in hard labor. It was a Tuesday--I only remember this because I did not want to miss watching The Shield which was on FX at 10:00 pm on Tuesday evenings. Haha!

The Shield was playing on the TV in my hospital room, although at some point I stopped even trying to watch it between pushes. Noah was born at 10:46 PM. Thankfully, my labor wasn't horrible. My pregnancy was complete misery. I had "intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy"--ICP for short--which is a liver condition that basically makes your BLOOD itch.

My entire body was so itchy that I was going crazy. One night, I begged Jerry to cut off my feet (and I was serious). I even became suicidal toward the end, and that's why my OB doctor finally decided to induce my labor two weeks early.

Jerry and I were so young when we had Noah--he was 23 and I was 22. We had only been married for 11 months when he was born, so we didn't even really have time to be "newlyweds" before I was pregnant. But we were so excited!

I remember thinking, while in the hospital, "Ohmygod. We have a baby now. There is no going back. We can't just "return" him if we suck as parents. This is 100% permanent!" Haha! It's not that I was regretting it; I was just realizing how permanent this life change was.

(It's funny... a couple of years later, when I was in labor with Eli, I remember telling the doctor that I quit--that I just didn't want to do it and I was done. Forget it.)

Jerry had been working the night shift when we brought Noah home, and he had two weeks off, but he maintained that schedule. So, it was convenient--I was awake with Noah all day, and Jerry was awake all night. (I was physiologically unable to breastfeed--my boobs are broken--so Jerry could do the nighttime feedings with formula.)

After two weeks, it was time for Jerry to go back to work, and it was a pretty humorous situation. We realized that we'd been holding Noah for two weeks and with Jerry going back to work, Noah would have to sleep in his crib. It felt so weird! We'd been spoiled (or spoiled him?) by holding him almost constantly for two weeks. Haha!

Noah was the cutest baby (of course, every mom says that). But when he started talking, his voice would just melt your heart! Eli was born when Noah was only 18 months old, and Noah was the best older brother. He was always doing what he could to make Eli laugh.

He bonded with Jerry from the moment he was born. Jerry has always been his favorite parent (although he won't admit it, because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings). Jerry has always been such a "big kid" which made him a great dad. He did all the fun stuff!

As he's grown, Noah is much like me--I understand him so well. And I love that he has always been so open with me about his feelings and about what's going on in his life. He tells me everything! Someday, I'm sure he'll be embarrassed by the things he's told me, but I would never betray his trust and I always validate his feelings.

Tomorrow, July 13th, Noah will be 16 years old. That's so crazy to me! When I started this blog, Noah was 6 years old. He was one of the reasons that I started my blog in the first place. I remember him telling me one day in kindergarten that he had a "fat" mom. I love that kids just tell it like it is!

When it was time for him to learn to ride a bicycle without training wheels (at age 5), I physically couldn't do it. I was too out of breath and out of shape to be able to run alongside his bike. And I felt like a horrible mom! I vowed that when it was Eli's turn to ride a bike, I'd be able to do it. (And I did, a couple of years later).

Anyway, here are some of my favorite pictures of Noah through the years :)  (These aren't in order... I tried, but the file names got confusing!)

I'm so lucky to have such a great kid! :)

Continue Reading...

My Resignation as a Cross Country Coach

I'm heartbroken right now to say that today, I resigned from coaching cross country.

In 2015, my good friend Renee and I started a cross country team for kids who were too young to join the school's team. Renee is actually the friend who got me started running way back in 2010!

We wanted to make a team so that kids could learn about running early on. When I was in school, I didn't even know what cross country was until I was halfway through high school! We thought it would be great for kids to learn about running before they had to make decisions about sports in middle school or high school.

I've loved coaching through the last several years. There are some times that I felt super stressed by it, but it was ALWAYS worth it to see the kids' excitement and watch their self-confidence grow throughout the season. (I'm a volunteer coach, so it's not a paid position.)

I've always put my heart and soul into coaching these kids. I spent a lot of my own money to make practices creative and fun. I spent way too much time entering their times on spreadsheets to show them how much they've improved. I developed award systems to inspire them to run more.

Last year, Renee accepted a teaching job and wasn't able to coach with me. I was super nervous to do it by myself, but I managed. And it went well! I missed her company, but I was able to really become more outspoken and step out of my comfort zone.

This year, Renee said she'd be able to coach again, and I was thrilled. It was always fun to coach with her! We'd always held our first practice of the season in mid-August. Because the kids we coach are young (3rd-5th grade), there isn't any reason to start conditioning in the spring for the fall season. Our team was just about getting kids to learn about and have fun running.

Last year, I felt some pressure to start practices early, so I started them in early July. This was pretty stressful for me, but the middle schoolers start early in the year and a couple of the parents were pressuring me to start early. So I did.

I was getting pressured again this year to start practices early. Then I learned that some of the kids from my team were going to the middle school practices, and that wasn't cool for the middle school coach (not her fault--she was very unfairly taken advantage of). We agreed that our teams needed to practice separately, and everything was fine.

Renee and I decided on August 10th to be our first practice this year, and I wrote it in our team's Facebook group. I even took the time to write up a modified version of my Cookies Summer Challenge to hold the kids over until practices start.

Within the hour, the two parents that had been pressuring me to start early had started a new Facebook group and recruited the kids from my team to join their new "running club". They chose the same location for practices that I had used and had even requested money for practices and to buy "incentives" for the kids.

In a nutshell, they unofficially took my team and coaching position, pushing me out of the picture because I wasn't going to start practice until August. I was completely blindsided by the whole thing.

Today, things just continued to get worse. I wish I could write out all the details here, but I've probably written too much already. I'm just so angry and upset about everything. Our team has always worked great! Until now.

So far, the school hasn't stepped in--which surprises me, because this new "club" is using the school's logo--so I don't know what is going to happen with that. Worst case scenario, they'll just have to change the logo so they aren't affiliated with the school. But something that really bothers me is that they used our team's private Facebook page to recruit the kids to their new club, even making it look like it was okay'ed by myself and the school.

I was very hurt that after all I'd done for their kids--which was a lot--they would do this. I thought about it all last night and today. I ultimately decided that I would resign from coaching. Cross country isn't supposed to be full of drama (which it has been since this started) and I don't want that. I just want to coach kids and get them excited about running.

The saddest part about this to me is that the kids are caught in the middle of the drama. The kids LOVED cross country last year (especially thanks to many of your donations for rewards!).

There is so much more I wish I could write about to explain this in detail, but I can't right now because of the people involved. But trust me when I say that I don't think that my resignation is an overreaction.

Renee is still going to coach anyone that wants to join the official school team, and the kids have always loved her (she's a substitute teacher, so they know her well). I know they'll have a good season. (There may not even be a season because of COVID--who knows?)

But after the betrayal I felt, I think it's just time for me to move on. Maybe I'll use this fall to really try to focus on ME and getting myself back to feeling my best. Cross country has always taken so much time and energy that it's all I think about during the season. It's just a shame it had to end this way.

Continue Reading...

Happy National Kitten Day!

Today is National Kitten Day! And I am so excited that this is the first time (and likely, only time) that we'll be able to celebrate it with actual kittens :) Next year, they'll be all grown up!

It's so hard to believe we've have them for two months already. They've grown SO much. Here is a comparison photo with a two-month difference:

We had been thinking for months about getting two male siblings from a shelter or rescue. I've always been a big proponent of adopting older cats rather than kittens because the older cats are much less likely to be adopted (everybody wants kittens).

We found a couple of tuxedo cats at a rescue, but they didn't work out (you can read about it here). However, they had several solid black kittens that were going to be ready in a month or so to adopt. My family wanted kittens so badly, and because the woman at the rescue said that black kittens are very hard to adopt out, I decided to compromise and get kittens, as long as they were black. (Eli also requested a long-haired one.)

We ended up getting a long-haired one and a short-haired one (from the same litter). We agonized over what to name them--we wanted to stick with the Friends theme, but nothing sounded right.

Ultimately, we decided to go with Chick and Duck. If you don't remember from the show, Joey and Chandler got a baby chick and duck as pets, and they named them "Chick" and "Duck". At first I wasn't crazy about the names, but I have grown to LOVE them. I affectionally call them "Little Duck" or "Duckling" and "Chicklet" or "Little Chick"

The kittens are the perfect combination of playful and cuddly. They tear around the house like crazy, wrestling with each other and chasing after toys; and then when they nap, they curl right up against my chest or face. Duck likes to sleep ON MY HEAD. Literally. Chick usually sleeps near Jerry.

We are SO SO SO glad that we adopted them! Having kittens is so much fun. They've kept us so entertained during the quarantine. If you are thinking of getting kittens, please adopt from a shelter or rescue! And I highly recommend getting two--they keep each other super busy and they love to cuddle together for naps.

Here are some of my favorite photos from the last two months. I had to narrow it down from hundreds, hahaha. But let me say, it's nearly impossible to get good photos of them, because they are constantly moving. ;)

Chick has excellent balance. He likes to show it off all the time.

Duck always gets into everyone else's business, including Joey's. Duck is a little piggy and ALWAYS wants to eat!

This is how Chicklet usually sleeps :)

Blogging with kittens is tough sometimes!

Duck's regular sleeping spot on my head.

Estelle tolerated this situation for about 15 seconds. Then she hissed and ran away. But look how Little Duck seems to be smiling at her with admiration! haha

Here, Duck saw a fly and was tracking it very carefully. He eventually caught it!

Chick has two light-colored tufts of hair that stick out from behind his ears. It's so funny looking, especially from the back!

I hope the pictures warmed your heart on this National Kitten Day! :)  Remember... adopt, don't shop! And I always try not to get preachy on my blog, but I beg you--please don't ever get a cat declawed. I just feel the need to mention it when I talk about adopting cats.

Anyone have cats with fun quirks? Please share! I love reading about different personalities of cats.

Continue Reading...

Hunger Games Movie Marathon!

I'm not going to write a "real" blog post today, because Jerry is off work and we are going to have a Hunger Games movie marathon! It's been years since we watched those movies. But here are some pics for entertainment purposes ;)

After Jerry saw these pictures, he decided to go shave his face. Hahaha! He said it looks like he has dirt on his face (he never grows facial hair).

G'night! :)

Continue Reading...