I'm in AWE that I actually made it through the day without a binge! Seriously. I was so mad at the scale this morning that I just wanted to say 'eff it' and eat a bunch of junk. I really thought about it. I even went to Kroger for a couple of things we needed and was thisclose to buying cookies or cake or something.
Then later, I decided to go to Target for some new pj's (and to kill some time away from home, so I wouldn't be tempted to eat!) Well, Target is in the mall and so is Mrs. Fields, and you know my love affair with cookies + frosting.
Again, I was super duper tempted, but I didn't do it!
THEN, I really DID say "eff it" and decided I was going to buy a monster cookie. For my new readers, THIS is a monster cookie:
Two sugar cookies with a fuckload of buttercream frosting. They should seriously be illegal. Anyway, I went to the store to buy one, pulled into the parking lot, and then used EVERY OUNCE OF MY WILLPOWER to turn around and go home. I did! I'm not lying!
If I don't see some serious progress on the scale soon, however, I may not be so strong. I reeeeally need to reach my goal by the end of June.
I did buy some new pj's today, which made me feel good about myself--because they are a size small. I haven't tried on new clothes in a while because I just feel crappy about the 10 pounds I'd gained back.
Yesterday, my husband mentioned how when I was fat, I wore his 2X-3X t-shirts to sleep in, and I always used to say that if I ever lost the weight, I'd wear cute nighties. And I did wear them, for a little while. But lately, since I've been feeling fat, I started wearing his (now size large) t-shirts again. So I bought 3 cute nighties to wear, and a robe to throw over them when I wake up.
I can remember going to Target 2 years ago and trying on clothes--all the XXL things I tried on were TOO SMALL. Now I'm wearing a freaking size SMALL. It's just so hard for me to wrap my head around it. I keep thinking "Okay, they just made the clothes a lot bigger and labeled them smaller." (Yes, I really do think like this)
Even my jeans--I wear size 4 jeans, and I have literally 15 different brands of jeans in size 4. I have to do all the different brands just so I actually believe that I'm a size 4. If I had just one or two brands, I would assume that they were just vanity sized. But I can't argue with 15 different brands, can I?
It's really messed up how much weight loss screws up your mentality.
Today's food log:
Breakfast-
bran flakes with blueberries and almond milk (127)
2 cups coffee with 1 Tbsp. cream (25)
Lunch-
turkey sandwich with cheese and mustard (223)
apple (81)
Dinner-
homemade vegetarian fried rice (292)
Snacks-
pineapple fluff (181)
chocolate vitatop with cool whip (160)
popcorn (225)
Exercise-
none scheduled today (but my long run is tomorrow! I'm dreading it--9 miles!)
Total calories eaten: 1314
Then later, I decided to go to Target for some new pj's (and to kill some time away from home, so I wouldn't be tempted to eat!) Well, Target is in the mall and so is Mrs. Fields, and you know my love affair with cookies + frosting.
Again, I was super duper tempted, but I didn't do it!
THEN, I really DID say "eff it" and decided I was going to buy a monster cookie. For my new readers, THIS is a monster cookie:
Two sugar cookies with a fuckload of buttercream frosting. They should seriously be illegal. Anyway, I went to the store to buy one, pulled into the parking lot, and then used EVERY OUNCE OF MY WILLPOWER to turn around and go home. I did! I'm not lying!
If I don't see some serious progress on the scale soon, however, I may not be so strong. I reeeeally need to reach my goal by the end of June.
I did buy some new pj's today, which made me feel good about myself--because they are a size small. I haven't tried on new clothes in a while because I just feel crappy about the 10 pounds I'd gained back.
Yesterday, my husband mentioned how when I was fat, I wore his 2X-3X t-shirts to sleep in, and I always used to say that if I ever lost the weight, I'd wear cute nighties. And I did wear them, for a little while. But lately, since I've been feeling fat, I started wearing his (now size large) t-shirts again. So I bought 3 cute nighties to wear, and a robe to throw over them when I wake up.
I can remember going to Target 2 years ago and trying on clothes--all the XXL things I tried on were TOO SMALL. Now I'm wearing a freaking size SMALL. It's just so hard for me to wrap my head around it. I keep thinking "Okay, they just made the clothes a lot bigger and labeled them smaller." (Yes, I really do think like this)
Even my jeans--I wear size 4 jeans, and I have literally 15 different brands of jeans in size 4. I have to do all the different brands just so I actually believe that I'm a size 4. If I had just one or two brands, I would assume that they were just vanity sized. But I can't argue with 15 different brands, can I?
It's really messed up how much weight loss screws up your mentality.
Today's food log:
Breakfast-
bran flakes with blueberries and almond milk (127)
2 cups coffee with 1 Tbsp. cream (25)
Lunch-
turkey sandwich with cheese and mustard (223)
apple (81)
Dinner-
homemade vegetarian fried rice (292)
Snacks-
pineapple fluff (181)
chocolate vitatop with cool whip (160)
popcorn (225)
Exercise-
none scheduled today (but my long run is tomorrow! I'm dreading it--9 miles!)
Total calories eaten: 1314
