November 11, 2017

Family Friday (belated): Numbers

Ha! Just now, I opened a Dove chocolate to eat while I work on my post, and this was the little "fortune" on the wrapper:

I was curious, and immediately looked up the word "loquacious". It made me laugh, because it means, "tending to talk a great deal; excessive talk." That is a classic hypomanic behavior, and it's something that drives me crazy about myself. I will talk and talk about the stupidest things when I'm hypomanic. I definitely don't need to be more loquacious. ;)

Anyway, today is my favorite date of the year: 11/11.

I'm not sure when or why 11 became my favorite number, but I am kind of obsessed with it. And multiples of 11, especially 33. I have read that people with bipolar may fixate on a particular number and believe it has some sort of meaning in situations. I'm sure I think about it way more than the average person does.

Today, for example, I wanted to play Keno--$11 worth. Jerry and I went to the bar near our house at 4:00, right when they opened, because Jerry had to leave for work at 4:30. We filled out our slips, and then the woman working there told us that the bartender wasn't there yet, and she was the one who had to do the Keno slips.

The bartender was supposed to be there at 4:00, but she didn't get there until 4:20-ish. Not nearly enough time to play 11 draws of Keno. We probably could have changed our plan, or I could have stayed alone, or invited a friend to come with me later... but I was just irritated that my plans were interrupted, so I went home without having played a single draw.

It's funny, I was supposed to be in Vegas this weekend for a From Fat to Finish Line event--seemingly a great place to be on 11/11 (in my odd mind, anyway). I had been planning to go for a long time, but changed my mind about a month ago for several reasons. Mainly because I shouldn't drink, I shouldn't gamble, and I wasn't doing the race with everyone.

I would have been really tempted to do those things (well, at least the drinking and gambling!), and I knew it wasn't a good idea for my mental health for me to go right now. But if I had gone, I would have placed a bet on 11 for roulette. I'll never know if I would have won ;)

Earlier today, I went for a run at 11:11. Yes, it sounds ridiculous. But honestly, I didn't think of it until I was getting my shoes on to head outside. I realized the time was 11:09, and I thought it would be fun to start my run at 11:11; so, I rushed to get my shoes on and head out the door.

I stood in the driveway, waiting for my Garmin to find satellites, and when I only had about two seconds left before it turned over to 11:12, I just started the run without the satellites (shocker, I know).

I decided to run 3.33 miles in a lollipop route. Not even a quarter mile in, I got that horrible abdominal muscle spasm that caused me so many problems in late 2015.

To back up: I had a stress fracture for about 10 months that wouldn't heal (because I kept running on it!). I finally decided to quit running for 6 weeks and let it heal properly. And it did!

During that time, I worked on losing weight. When it came time to run again, I was surprised at how good it felt. I was easily running a pace in the 9:00's, even after taking 6 weeks off. But shortly after, I started getting abdominal muscle spasms/cramps that were practically crippling (my ab muscles would get REALLY tight and cause very sharp pains, like someone was stabbing me all over my abs). There were several runs I had to quit because the pain was so bad.

I saw my doctor about it, and even emailed my plastic surgeon to see if it was something that could have been caused from my skin removal. They were both stumped. Eventually, the spasms/cramps stopped, and I hadn't noticed them since... until a few weeks ago when I went for a run. They weren't terrible, but they were there. I started to wonder if they just show up when I start running after a long break.

Today's run was probably the most painful I've ever experienced. I was determined to do it, so I did, but the pain was all I could focus on the whole time. I was trying to figure out different ways of breathing, of "sucking in" or "blowing out" my stomach, breathing to a certain count, etc. Nothing helped. I desperately wanted to walk, but I KNEW once I did, I wouldn't start running again. Besides, the pain stays when I walk; and walk or run, I needed to get home.

When I got home, I collapsed on my porch and sat there for about 10 minutes. I keep hoping that my bird will return again, but so far, no luck.

It was such a relief to stop running! My muscles released the spasm, and I was fine again. So weird. My splits were even slower than my last run, but I kind of expected that with the shuffle I was doing: 11:51, 11:48, 11:41, and 11:33. The 11:33 for the last .33 miles wasn't intentional ;)

I am hoping that the cramps don't happen every time, but even if they do, I know they'll go away sooner or later. I can't remember how long it took last time, but I think it was probably a couple of months. Although, the cramps would only show up during some of the runs; not all of them.

Despite the muscle cramps, I actually felt really good about running today. If it wasn't for the cramps, I would say I actually enjoyed it. I'm going to run again on Monday, because I agreed to give it three runs before deciding if I would start running regularly again, but so far I like being back out there!


  1. When I was a kid, I used to be really into it when the clock would hit either 10:10, 11:11, or 12:12!

  2. my kids swim coach always tells them they are getting cramps because they are not drinking enough water. They tell them to start drinking the day before they practice/compete... not sure if that would help you, but it won't hurt to try

  3. I know this probably not the same, but I had a lot of pain last year when walking (but only sometimes, though it got worse and more frequent). It got so bad I could not even get around the grocery store. I went to a GI doctor, was diagnosed with reflux and given some drugs, but it didn't help. Long story made short is that I had a hernia. The GI doctor didn't even consider it when I first went to her. It felt like trapped gas or cramps to me and seemed better when I took antacids. It was only after I returned in desperation that she properly diagnosed it and sent me to a surgeon.

  4. Omg I stayed up way to late last night... do you ever do that? Does it mess with you too?

  5. So strange about the ab spasm. When I do long runs, I sometimes get an ab cramp or spasm on my right side. However, it's never happened during a run - always afterward. I think it's on my right side because that's where a couple of the incisions were from my gall bladder removal. Maybe you are right to think that it's something with your surgery. No one seems to have any idea what my problem is, either, except an oddly-placed cramp. Good luck!


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