Lifestyle changes

Hey friends! My writing has been so sporadic lately, but I'm not even apologizing for it (not that I ever needed to, but I used to put pressure on myself to write frequently). I didn't even post my Wednesday Weigh-in yesterday (although I did weigh in, so I'll post it below).

I've been pretty busy, but not with the usual stuff. My lifestyle has changed quite a bit over the last few months, and it's actually for the better. For once, I am going into summer feeling very good about myself and just where I am in general right now.

It's been a huge change from just four months ago! I'll write more about that in a bit.

For now, my Wednesday Weigh-in...

I had to go back and look at what last week's weight was, because I couldn't remember for the life of me. Last week, I was 135-even, so I'm down 0.6 pounds this week. Still losing, although slowly; and it's so odd that I honestly don't really care that much! I don't think about my weight very often, and when I do, it's in a factual way. I don't think about being close to my goal weight again, or trying to lose that last little bit, or even whether I gain five or ten pounds. I feel so free from all of that!

I have never felt this way before. I think once I was diagnosed with bipolar, and accepted that diagnosis (finally), I was able to move on with my life. I look at things in a different light now. I finally realize why I am the way I am, and my new medication helps me to be stable instead of always being at one end of the spectrum or the other (depressed or manic--never really in-between). I used to self-medicate with food for depression, alcohol for anxiety, etc. Now that I am stable, I don't feel the need to do that anymore--and it's awesome!

I had to explain to my family what bipolar is, and why I am different from them in many ways--I was really nervous to do so, but they were very supportive of what I had to say. I've always been "different", but I was always trying to fit in with them; so, I made myself unhappy by trying to be someone I wasn't. After explaining the situation, I finally feel free to be myself, and it's very liberating.

Take vacations, for example. My family has always liked the beach, tropical or warm places, cruises, camping, and doing lots of planned activities. Those are things that I just don't enjoy; but, I always went along with them because I thought my idea of vacation wasn't "good enough" somehow. My ideal vacation is traveling to a new city (or familiar cities I've enjoyed, like Portland) and walking around the city just taking it all in. I love to visit friends who live in parts of the country I don't get to see very often. And my very favorite thing to do is to visit their favorite places, rather than do the touristy things. (Sometimes touristy things are fun, too, but typically I like the local favorites.)

Jerry and I in Brooklyn last fall

I like chatting with friends in dive bars (not the highest-rated-on-Yelp places, but places that my friends regularly enjoy), and trying their favorite restaurants--nothing fancy. I usually ask them to choose what food to order, because they tend to know what the local favorites are. When I went to Portland for the first time, I discovered that I love hiking, especially when I can see waterfalls.

Jerry, me, and our friend Mike on the Staten Island ferry

Walking around NYC, Boston, Portland, San Diego, St. Louis, etc., have been my sort of vacations. In fact, I've planned a vacation for Jerry and I in the fall--we (along with Caitlin) are going to Portland. I know I was just there, but Caitlin and Jerry have never been. Also, we're going to be in the city (I didn't see the city last month, because I was in central Oregon), and they can get the Portland experience that I enjoyed so much the first time I was there. I'm certainly no expert at showing people around Portland, but I have a few favorite places that I'd like them to see.

I've been working on getting the most of my Delta SkyMiles (charging things and then paying it off every month), so I was able to get tickets for under $200. Usually when I go to Portland, I actually get my ticket for free due to my SkyMiles! (Since I just used the SkyMiles last month, I didn't have enough to get free tickets for the fall--but $200 is a great deal). The tickets are usually about $400-500 for round trip to Portland, so I wouldn't be able to go as often if I didn't use SkyMiles. The more I travel, the less scared I am to fly, and the more I enjoy going places.

Oh, you know, just a typical Saturday night roasting marshmallows
with BART YASSO at Runner's World headquarters in Bethlehem, PA ;)

[Side note: I recently learned that there is a referral program for Delta Amex, so I'm just going to throw this out here--if I refer someone to the Delta Amex card, and they are approved, then I get 10,000 bonus miles. So, if you're interested in getting one anyway, I'd love it if you did it through this link! I've been using this card for probably about four years now, and it pays off in a great way for traveling. I'm not saying that just to get the referrals--honest. I figured since I mention my SkyMiles on my blog frequently when I plan trips, I might as well post the referral link and maybe get some bonus miles out of it. (And right now, they have a limited time offer of getting 60,000 bonus miles when you spend a certain amount in the first four months. Depending on the destination, 60,000 miles can get you about two round-trip tickets!) I also like that you get to check bags for free--that alone saves me $50 per trip.]

I can't believe I let my fear of flying keep me from traveling for the first 29 years of my life! I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do.

I always send Jerry a plane selfie before I take off. Just in
case it's the last picture he ever sees of me. Hahaha!

Anyway, that was a huge tangent--the whole point of all this is to say that I am thankful that I finally feel comfortable enough to be ME, and do the things that I enjoy without feeling guilty or that being different from my family is a bad thing. In reality, I am a pretty cool person with my own interests ;) I still like spending time with my family, of course, but it's fun to branch out.

Along with my bipolar diagnosis and new meds, I have made some pretty significant lifestyle changes. Firstly, I have all-but quit drinking. I wasn't an alcoholic or anything before, but there was no need for me to drink at home alone, or even just home with Jerry. All summer long, I liked to have shandy or summery cocktails. When going out to eat, I would usually have a drink or two (which is not only expensive, but the cocktails that I like--margaritas!--are high in calories).

So, I've cut way back on that. Now, I probably only drink twice a month, and when I do, it's in social situations and I limit myself to two. I certainly don't judge others for drinking, though. Jerry still enjoys a craft beer just about every day--he loves craft beer, and I don't see anything wrong with that. Cutting back is just the right choice for myself.

Another big change is that I stopped running--which may sound like a bad thing. However, I wasn't happy with it anymore. I was always dreading it, and I just didn't feel like I was excited to set new running goals. I hope that I will be interested in it again one day, but if I'm not, I'm okay with that, too.

Instead, I've been enjoying just being active throughout the day in other ways. This summer, I'd like to ride my bike more often, as well as take Joey for long walks in the Metroparks. I'd like to do more yard work and projects in the house, which doesn't sound like exercise, but it's pretty grueling sometimes--and I always feel sore afterward! I can take the kids swimming at the rec center, and maybe even try out kayaking or things like that.

I feel like I've droned on a enough, so I'll leave it at that. But since lots of people have asked how I'm doing, I wanted to post an update. I'm doing very well! I'm much happier than I was several months ago, and I have a really good outlook on this summer. Usually, I worry about summer throwing me off track (with life in general), but I am looking forward to a new type of summer :)

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A fun zoo outing (and comparison photos)

On Saturday, we were invited to go to the zoo with the company Jerry works for. Once in a while, they'll host a fun outing somewhere, and this year, they chose the Detroit Zoo. They actually rented out the entire zoo just for employees and their families!

The zoo normally closes at 5:00 pm, and our event started at 6:00--so we had the whole zoo to ourselves. Usually (well, almost always), I regret going to the zoo. It's always miserably hot, the animals aren't very active (and I feel sorry for them being in a zoo in the first place), it's expensive to get in, and there are SO many people. It always sounds like a fun idea to go for the day, but then when we get there, I regret it.


This trip was entirely free to us--including parking, zoo admission, a huge dinner, and drinks. So, there was no reason not to go. Since it was in the evening, I hoped it would be cooler outside than when we usually go.

Anyway, the weather was nice--hot, but as the sun was going down, it was getting cooler. When we got there, they gave each of the kids a little stuffed giraffe, and Jerry a portable cell phone charger. We were all hungry, so we went over to the food tents right away. They had pulled pork, chicken breasts, hot dogs, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, coleslaw, salad, rolls, and probably a dozen other things. So much food! They had beer and wine, as well as tea, pop, and reusable water bottles.

The four of us sat down and ate, and by then, the sun was down enough that it felt great outside. We started walking around the zoo, and it was fantastic not to have big crowds to wade through. Nothing super eventful happened, so I won't bore you with details. But I did take lots of pictures, and today, I went through old pictures from the zoo to compare. It's crazy to see how big the kids have gotten.

And Jerry and I took our traditional binoculars photo. I have no idea why we started this--just being goofy, I guess--but now we take this photo every time we see these kinds of binoculars. I can't find ALL of them, but here are a few, in chronological order:

1999 (the photo that started the tradition)

2009

2010

2016

2017

Clearly, our weight has fluctuated as much as our hair in the last 18 years ;)  I think I actually like this year's photo the best, probably because I was in a much better mood than the other times at the zoo!

Here is a photo of the boys and me that we have started taking the last couple of years. It's cool to see them get taller.

2009

2016

2017

In 2009, I crouched down and used the kids to try and hide myself as much as possible, because I was embarrassed of my size. The kids have grown, so I obviously don't have to crouch down anymore, but I like to for comparison's sake. They are going to be taller than me soon!

Another picture I like to compare is of Noah and me. Again, I tried to hide my body as much as possible...

2005

2017

 Two more sets of pictures, and then I'll be done, I promise ;) These ones are just the boys:

2012

2017

2012

2017

They grow up so fast! Anyway, we stayed until 9:00, and we all had so much fun. We feel spoiled now, so it'll be hard to go to the zoo in the crowds again! But it was awesome that Jerry's company did this for the employees.

I did make a short video of the evening, so I wouldn't overload this post with photos of animals. I used the 1 Second Everyday app to compile several clips (nothing terribly exciting, however):

All in all, it was a super fun evening! We almost didn't go, because we were doing so much yard work and house work Saturday that we didn't want to stop. The kids weren't even sure if they wanted to go--but we were all glad that we went!

Hope everyone had a great weekend :)

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Hiking in central Oregon

(...continued from previous post)

Okay, despite what happened on my first day there, the rest of the weekend was spent hiking and appreciating a different type of gorgeous scenery that Oregon has to offer. In this post, I'll just share a ton of photos and caption some of them as needed.

Pictures never do scenery justice, particularly when taken from an iPhone, but this was the best I could do.

This was my view of Mt. Hood from the airplane--I couldn't believe
what a perfect view it was! Even my brother, who is a pilot and flies
past it often, said he's never seen it this clearly.

The Portland-green that I love! From the airplane.

I took this picture from the car window as we drove past. I just couldn't
believe how out of place the mountains looked--like someone just picked
them up and placed them in the wrong spot. It was amazing. 

The first stop, which was actually unplanned. We were
driving past, and Thomas said there is never parking available
there. He saw an open spot, so we pulled in, and I'm glad!
I love waterfalls, and this was amazing.

Our second stop was a hike down to this waterfall. When we parked the car,
I felt like we were in the wrong place; you would have NO idea that this
gorgeous waterfall was just waiting for us not too far away. (By the way,
it was about 85 degrees outside!)

This looks like a postcard, doesn't it?

I was so excited when we saw some random cows chilling in the road.
Of course, we waited for them to cross the road before moving on. Despite
seeing lots of cows where I live, I've never seen them in the road before!

This place was actually not even on the map as a "lookout" or anything.
Thomas was just looking on Google Maps for places to go, and he saw
something that looked like a spot to park and see water. So we stopped,
and it was breathtaking. My second-favorite spot that we went.

My favorite picture from the trip! I was actually just showing Thomas how
he could pose for a pic, and he said it was way too "girly", and took my pic
instead. I turned out to be a great picture.

This hike was SO challenging for me. It was nearly 90 degrees outside, and
shade was scarce. We didn't bring water, because it was "only" four miles.
I later learned that four miles of hiking in these temps with full sun
is nothing like four miles of running on flat streets.

I wanted to show how high up we'd hiked, but this picture
really doesn't show it well. We found a spot of shade to catch
our breath about a quarter mile from the top.

The ONLY town for miles and miles. This was Main St.! There was one grocery
store, two restaurants, a school, a gas station, and that's about it.
But it was SO cool! And I was surprised how busy it was. Lots of people
stopping for food and gas.

The only restaurant that was open (the other was closed on Sundays). We each
got a burger, and they were amazingly delicious.

The "Philly" burger and tater tots. I was starving after our hike, and I ate
almost all of this!

This place was called Painted Hills, which is one of the "7 Wonders of Oregon".
The photo doesn't do it justice. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen. The hills
were SO smooth and looked like they were painted with stripes of red.

Another photo I took from the car as we drove past. So pretty!

This place had hills that had the most unique texture. They reminded me
of a brownie with a crackled top--which is probably a terrible description,
but I don't know how else to describe it! I should've taken a close-up.

Our final hike, which ended up being our favorite. This was halfway up
Black Butte (pronounced like "beauty" but without the "y"). This hike was
extremely challenging for this out-of-shape Southeast Michigan girl! 

View from the top. It was nearly 1,500 feet of elevation gain in about two miles.
Considering I have no hills or elevation of any sort where I live, I felt like
I would die. But I brought water this time, and I made it!

Another view from the top.

Trying so hard to balance on the rocks for a good photo op. I am the
clumsiest hiker, and nearly fell off a cliff a couple of times in our 2015 hike.
This time, I was determined not to fall!

While I was standing there, I saw an antelope squirrel. I'd seen several the
day before, from the car. I thought they were birds on the road until they
all scattered. I wanted to see another so badly, and I was thrilled when I
saw this one. I held out my (empty) hand, hoping it would come closer. He
came up to me, realized I didn't have food, and ran off. A super nice couple
heard how excited I was, and offered me some nuts from their trail mix.
The squirrel came back and I gave him an almond. I was SO happy. (I was
later told several times on social media that I shouldn't feed wildlife--I had
no idea that giving him an almond was wrong--so I'll never do it again.)

Just a girl and an antelope squirrel, gazing at the beautiful mountains.

I asked Thomas if this was considered a mountain (I wanted to be able to say
that I hiked up a mountain); he said I could consider it a "baby mountain", haha.
But I say if there is snow at the top, it's a mountain, dammit! I actually
took a handful of snow and rubbed it on my neck and arms--it felt amazing.

On the way home, we went through the city of Detroit, Oregon. We needed
to get gas anyway, so I got a quick picture. A far cry from Detroit, Michigan!

On Monday night, we picked up Brandon (Thomas's "little brother" from the
Big Brothers Big Sisters program) and we went to Killer Burger for dinner.
I wish I'd gotten a picture with Brandon (who is now 14)--I couldn't
believe how much he'd grown since I saw him last year! He was about an inch
shorter than me last year (I'm 5'4"). He's now 5'10", just about as tall as Thomas!!

I got the "girly size" (which they started calling "pint size" recently, probably
because that's more politically correct. It's just a half-size burger) Peanut
Butter Pickle Bacon burger. Sounds so odd, but I'd had it a couple of years ago,
and it was fantastic!

Just before heading to the airport, we stopped for celebratory drinks (my
first Long Island Iced Tea, which was delicious). After the difficult hike
that day, it was SO refreshing! I wore a shirt that says "Happy" because
that's how I felt after a few days hiking in Oregon, which I basically
consider my "home away from home" now. 

It was a fantastic weekend! Someday, I'd like Jerry to come with and see why I love Portland so much. If we weren't settled here in Michigan, I would want to move there. Hiking and scenery is definitely more my thing than Jerry's, but I think he would love the actual city of Portland (when he goes on trips, it's usually to a city--breweries and baseball are to him what trees and mountains are to me, haha). I brought him back a couple of local beers from Portland, and he was thrilled ;)

Overall, my favorite hike was Black Butte, because it was so challenging (for me) and I felt proud when I made it to the top. Seeing the antelope squirrel was awesome, and the view was amazing. The people on the trail were super friendly. And I always love getting to hang out with Thomas. It was probably my favorite trip yet!

---

Since it's Wednesday Weigh-in day, I was actually surprised to see that I was down 0.6 pounds from last week!

Yesterday morning, I was at 136.6, probably from the sodium and water retention from exercise, but it was gone today. I was conscious not to go overboard on the food while I was gone, and I probably burned a ton of calories from hiking (on Black Butte alone!), so I'm happy that I didn't gain weight, like I usually do.

Hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend! My next trip is our family vacation to the upper peninsula of Michigan. I haven't been there in a very long time, and my kids have never been!

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Day one of my trip to Oregon

It's a quarter after ten, and I just woke up. I haven't slept this late since college!

I was in Oregon for the weekend, and I took a redeye flight home on Monday night/Tuesday morning (the flight left at 12:30 AM on Tuesday). I had a three hour layover in Minnesota, and then arrived home at about noon yesterday. I stayed up all day, and then finally went to bed at 11 PM. So, I was awake for about 37 hours before going to sleep last night. Definitely a record for me.

Anyway, the weekend was TOTALLY worth the lack of sleep on the way home!

As you probably know, Thomas, my best friend who I actually "met" via my blog in 2012, lives in Portland. I've gone to visit a few times, because during my first trip out there, I totally fell in love with Portland! Not just the city, but the surrounding areas. I am so amazed at how gorgeous the Pacific Northwest is. The trees are my favorite part--they are SUPER tall and lush green from all the rain they supposedly get (it's only rained once in my four trips out there). We went on a 14-mile hike in 2015, and that was the most beautiful place I've ever seen.

March 2015

I started going out there annually, and I look forward to it all year. Anyway, I wanted to go hiking again on this trip. I wasn't really imagining three DAYS worth of hiking, but most of them were simple and short with gorgeous views, so it wasn't like we were hiking 14-milers each day. Actually, the longest hike was a little over four miles, I think. Neither of us is in the shape we were before! (My weight is lower, but since I haven't been running, I'm not in the shape I was in 2015.)

To change things up a bit, we headed to central Oregon about three hours from Portland, and I couldn't believe the difference of landscape. It was almost desert-like, a far cry from the lush green of Portland. However, there were some really amazing views and lookouts, so it was very cool to see a different side of Oregon.

I wish I knew the names of all of these places we went, but I forgot to have Thomas write them down for me, so I will have to get them later. But we did a ton of driving, and even in the car, I just kept exclaiming, "Ohmygosh! Look at that! It's so pretty!" I'm sure he was so tired of hearing it even before we got to our first stop.

Instead of droning on, I'll just post (way too many) photos of the sights we saw, and caption them as needed. First, however, I have to share something terrible that happened just after I arrived in Portland. I didn't actually know what had happened until the following evening when I saw it on a local newsfeed.

When I arrived at PDX, I waited for my suitcase. Then I went and bought a ticket for the MAX. The MAX is a public transportation system that consists of small train cars that go all over the city. The guy in front of me spent SO long looking at the map and I had to wait until he finally bought his ticket before I got mine. I was planning to take the MAX to meet Thomas near where he worked.

So, I finally bought my ticket, and then hopped on the MAX. I was supposed to ride it for about 40 minutes or so. After several stops, our train was taking an awfully long time to start going again. The conductor announced that "there was an incident on the train in front of us, and we would be delayed". He wasn't sure of the details or how long the delay would be.

I texted Thomas to let him know, and he told me to just get off the MAX and he would come pick me up at that stop. So, I lugged my suitcase up to the street, and waited in a nearby parking lot. Fast forward to the following evening (after we'd been hiking all day), when I was scrolling through Facebook. I saw this headline:

I was absolutely STUNNED. This had happened on the train ahead of mine. I was literally one stop away from where it happened. I started thinking of the "What if...?" scenarios. What if I hadn't checked my bag? What if that man in line for his ticket didn't take so long? I could have been on that train, and that thought was terrifying. I was SO so sad for the men that actually lost their lives over this. One was an Army veteran, and the other had just graduated college last year. Another man was stabbed, but (thankfully) is expected to live. (Here is a news article with the details.)

Portland is a very diverse and accepting city in general, and for some man to be so hateful toward a young Muslim woman is not at all what I would expect there. In fact, I've been trying to convince my parents to go out there, because I know they would love and appreciate how pretty it is. This incident is not at all something that represents the city.

For these three gentlemen to step in and intervene is exactly what I would expect, because that's how people are in Portland! Everyone there is SO nice and friendly (another thing I love about the city). When they stepped in to try and calm the man down, the man quickly pulled out a knife and stabbed them, killing two and injuring the third.

Anyway, that was in the back of my mind for the rest of the weekend. I feel so bad for the men who lost their lives, their families, the girls that were targeted and had to watch as the men died while trying to help them, and all the other people on that train who had to witness it.

Well, despite what had happened, I was able to appreciate Oregon for what it is--a beautiful state with amazing people and scenery. I'm actually going to post my photos from the hikes in a separate post. It just doesn't feel right to post them here. So, I will share them in a post following this one...

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