I've been wanting to write about this for a while but since I haven't been writing at all lately, I kind of forgot about it. I was telling a friend about it today, so I'm going to write this before I forget again.
If you missed the post, Phoebe (our 18-year old cat) passed away in November. (The post is here.) We made the decision to euthanize her when we took her to the vet (she looked terrible and seemed to be in pain... the vet agreed it was time).
I know I just wrote Phoebe's backstory in the post about her, but a relevant tidbit here is how Phoebe came to be our cat. A mom in the MOMS Club I was in while my kids were little was looking for a home for a stray cat that her sister had taken in. We only had Chandler at the time, so we decided we wanted her.
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| Rose made this little stuffed Phoebe for me for Christmas! The little box contains Phoebe's ashes. |
Side note: How CUTE is that teeny tiny vase? It's literally a vase for cat whiskers. BAHAHA, I got it for Jerry for Christmas. [If you know, you know.]
She had definitely had a rough start to life--half of her tail was missing (the tip of what was left felt bent, and I imagine that maybe it was slammed in a door) and she had what felt like a BB (like for a BB gun) under her skin in her chest area. We never knew if it was actually a BB, but that's exactly what it felt like, so we assumed she'd been shot at some point. Poor cat!
Anyway, we talked about Phoebe's BB here and there throughout the years (she was about a year old when we got her). The curiosity drove me crazy sometimes--it felt so close to the surface of her skin, and I just wanted to pluck it out and know!
As morbid as it sounds, I'd always planned to ask the vet if they could remove it after she died. I wanted it for some odd reason. However, after the emotional euthanasia visit, the last thing I was thinking about was asking for the BB. When I realized it the next day, I figured it was too late (and definitely a creepy thing to ask on the phone) so I forgot about it.
Until a few weeks later, when I was looking for a spot to put her ashes. The thought of the BB popped into my head again, and I got the idea to look for it in her ashes. I *know* this is weird! I really do. But my curiosity was killing me. I opened up the urn and used a magnet to sift through the ashes.
To be honest, I didn't actually even believe that they were Phoebe's ashes. How would anyone know if they are getting their pet's ashes? I guess I just pictured the crematorium doing a big cremation and divvying up the ashes to each owner, because nobody would know and it would be cheaper. So I didn't expect to find anything, but I just HAD to look.
And then...
I FOUND IT. It took all of about 10 seconds for the magnet to find it.
It was seriously in her ashes! I can't even describe how I felt when I found it, but it was good. I am still so stunned that it was in there. And I learned that it was, in fact, a BB.
I wanted to share this not only because it's an interesting story, but because maybe if you have doubts about whether your pet's ashes are really *their* ashes, have faith that they probably are. Obviously crematoriums do their own thing, but maybe this will be a little reassuring. I have solid proof that I do, in fact, have Phoebe's ashes!
Hey it’s letting me comment this time! I haven’t been able to get it to work in years!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this is a WILD story and honestly it had me tear up. To know it is really her and have that lifelong question answered. I’m so glad you got that! Now on a weird note, when I was in high school I took an ROP class in veterinary care. I worked for a cats only vet clinic for a year as a part of the class and in the class we learned about different breeds and ethics of breeding and vaccines and all kinds of stuff. One of the things we did in the class was a field trip to a pet crematorium. It was actually very respectful. They do have a place for mass cremations where everybody is mixed together but they also have individual ones for owners who want their ashes back. I physically saw it so I know it’s true.
Coincidentally part of my job was to support the vet during surgeries and also euthanasias where the owners weren’t present (some people can’t handle being there.) it was an emotionally heavy job and while I’m glad I had the experience I have not forgotten some of those aspects of the job in the 26-27 years since I had it.
Thank you for sharing this Katie - I lost my sweet old chihuahua last fall and have spent a lot of time wondering if the ashes I got were hers as they offered a group cremation rate or a single cremation rate - I went for the more expensive single cremation because I wanted HER ashes but really assumed they just did a group cremation and pocketed the extra money - this puts me at ease!
ReplyDeleteThis brought me to tears! I LOVE that you had to know. It's so YOU. And thanks for the reassurance that our pet's ashes are actually theirs. It's also great to hear from you and hope you give us an update on all Katie and gang soon.
ReplyDeleteHow cool! I have never voluntarily got my cats ashes (my last cat who died, did during a dental cleaning, which was devastating and my vet kindly gave me the ashes in a fancy urn but I’m so creeped out by it. They’re in a box in my closet- I honestly think I just need to throw them out. Her spirit lives in my heart and that’s enough) BUT- I always wondered!
ReplyDeleteAlso, years ago I had a little bump removed from my cat Vegan (she wasn’t a vegan btw) and it was a BB pellet! I kept it. Poor girl!
One more comment- we retrieved my father-in-law’s wedding ring that way, from his ashes.
ReplyDeleteThis is so wonderful!! Thank you for sharing, Katie!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that I missed Phoebe's passing, so I also read about that. We have a small female cat who is over 17 years old now and also in kidney failure. Sadly, I imagine we'll be going through the same experience before too long - we're giving her sub-cutaneous fluids, but that only helps for so long. I'm so sorry to read about Phoebe, but it was definitely the right thing to do. After her horrible first year of life, your family gave her such a loving home for so many years! And the BB...that's just so horrible that people do things like that.
ReplyDeleteKatie- it’s been so long. I was thinking about you and realized you haven’t posted in awhile. Plus you never gave us an update about your thyroid. I’m hoping you’re okay but I’m worried that you aren’t.
ReplyDeleteIf you don’t want to blog anymore that’s fine, though I miss it. But please post one last time and tell us how you’re doing. We care.