A Bump in the Road

I'm not even sure where to start...

In November, I had my annual physical; I have to get one every year for insurance purposes. I was nervous about my cholesterol going back up because of the horrible way I'd been eating for three months. Last year was the first time in my life that my cholesterol was in the "normal" range and I really wanted it to stay there.

To my surprise, it went down again! Only by a few points, but it motivated me to get back to eating healthier because next year, I may not be so lucky. The other stuff (blood pressure, etc) was good. But. My doctor noticed my thyroid was enlarged. I wasn't surprised or concerned because when I was pregnant with Noah, my OB discovered a nodule on my thyroid. I had a couple of ultrasounds but it wasn't suspicious so nothing ever came of it.

A few months ago, I was going to post a Wednesday Weigh-In. I took my usual mirror selfie and I noticed that my thyroid seemed bigger than usual. (Ever since the nodule, my thyroid has been slightly enlarged, but that's pretty common. I never worried about it because I'd had it checked out.) I wasn't even going to mention it to my doctor.

My doctor is very conservative when it comes to ordering tests. She's great at what she does, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't take me very seriously about things. She's actually known me since I was a kid; my mom used to be the office manager for years. Anyway, when she showed concern about my thyroid, I knew I'd better take it seriously because she's not easily concerned.

I started to wonder look back at the symptoms I'd had and didn't really put together. I'd noticed that my voice was changing a little--sounding slightly hoarse. And I've been having to clear my throat a lot. When I had COVID in September, remember how I said my throat felt like someone was squeezing it? I have that feeling a LOT and I always attributed it to anxiety; it makes me wonder if it was an enlarged thyroid all this time.

Over the last six months or so, I've also had a harder time swallowing. Nothing alarming, just something I noticed. Especially while swallowing pills, which I've never had a problem with. Between trouble swallowing, my voice changing, and my throat feeling like it's being squeezed, the signs were there. I just didn't put them all together.

My doctor ordered lab work to check my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) to see if my thyroid hormones were being affected by my enlarged thyroid. (It came back normal.) She also ordered an ultrasound, which is the standard to check out what's going on with the thyroid.

I called right away to make the appointment and was able to get in just two weeks later for the ultrasound. The ultrasound tech isn't allowed to explain what they are seeing, but I could see the monitor and even though I'm not a trained tech, I could tell something was abnormal. I asked the tech if that was a nodule, but since he couldn't answer me, I just had to wait for the results.

Thanks to the holiday, it took almost a week to get the results (usually test results show up in my online chart within 24 hours or so). It turns out that the left lobe of my thyroid is VERY enlarged. And it has a large mass (the mass is about the same size as the lobe itself!). Finally, there is a cyst inside the mass. Lucky me, right?

There is a grading system for thyroid masses to determine how likely they are to be malignant. The system ranges from 1 (very unlikely to be cancer) to 5 (most likely). Due to the size and composition of the mass, mine is a 3--so it's not terrible but not great either. The odds are still very much in my favor that it's benign.

I was then referred to an ENT (ear, nose, and throat) doctor. He scoped me to check out my vocal cords (that was uncomfortable--putting a tiny camera through my nose and down my throat--but kind of cool to see on the monitor). The doctor was mostly concerned about how quickly the mass has grown and my symptoms have appeared. I started noticing them about six months ago, but after I had COVID they really became more prominent. I just thought maybe it'd had something to do with my tooth/jaw.

The ENT ordered more blood work and a biopsy. It's a needle biopsy, where they insert a needle into the mass to collect cells and look for cancer. Due to the size of the mass alone, I need to get it removed. (The doctor mentioned another option that could shrink the mass, but it's not guaranteed and I just really want this thing gone.) I'm nervous that I may lose function in my thyroid, though. If I get the surgery, it sounds like they will remove the left lobe along with the mass. I'll find out more after the results of the biopsy. (The results are needed to determine a plan of action.)

My biopsy is this Friday, the 10th. The biopsy itself is supposedly no big deal.

Speaking of no big deal, I haven't really been wanting to tell people about all of this because I don't want to hear that "thyroid cancer is no big deal" or it's "easily curable". While it probably isn't even cancer, it's very invalidating to hear. I know they mean well in trying to assure me not to worry, but to me, it's kind of a big deal. Even if it's not cancer, removing my thyroid is a major surgery--it's going to leave a very noticeable scar and I may lose thyroid function and need medication for the rest of my life.

I like hearing about others' experiences (good or bad) regarding thyroid cancer/removal, but I just don't want to what I'm going through to be dismissed as nothing. Hopefully that makes sense. Because of that, I've only told a couple of people what is going on. But I've been absent from my blog for weeks now because this has been a major part of my life over the last month. Considering the biopsy and likely surgery, this year is off to a great start! (that is sarcastic)

I've actually been eating much better over the past couple of weeks. I had some goals and things I wanted to work on this year (and I still do) but this thing with my thyroid is hanging over my head. I was hoping to go visit my friend Sarah in Arizona for our birthdays (hers is on the 22nd and mine is on the 25th of this month) but I don't want to make travel plans until I know what is happening.

Anyway, that is what's been going on most recently. In other news, Noah is moving back home! His lease is up at the end of this month and he decided he wants to save money for a down payment on a house. He realized (even though I told him a year ago!) that he could be putting all of that rent money in savings and he'll have a nice chunk of change in a year.

I'm excited to have him come home again, but it's been kind of stressful. I had turned the spare bedroom into my craft/sewing room and having to move everything out of there hasn't been easy. I have no idea where I used to keep everything! There is a LOT of stuff to find space for. We moved the treadmill, which is rarely used anymore, to the garage and I put my large sewing cabinet and the table I built for my sewing machine in the spot where the treadmill used to be. I don't love it, but it works for now.

I had a very stressful year--mentally, emotionally, and physically--and sewing was definitely my therapy. I've always enjoyed sewing, but this past year had me sewing every spare moment I had. While I'm hoping the stress calms down after this thing with my thyroid is over, having this sort of hobby-therapy has been super helpful to take my mind off of things.

Since I'm sure people will be curious about my biopsy results, I'll definitely share the news (I wouldn't bring all this up and then just leave it open-ended). I have no idea how long it takes to get the results, so it may be a couple of weeks. I'll have to follow up with the ENT to figure out a plan as well.

Despite this bump in the road, I'm going to continue to try to get my life back on track after having "let myself go" for a few months (see my previous post if you haven't--that explains what I'm referring to). I've always written end-of-the-year recaps and my goals for the new year, etc, and even though it's late, I would like to try to write a few things (I know I keep saying this and not following through--I've been overwhelmed and it's hard to even know what to write, let alone where to start).

Today, we celebrate Eli's birthday... he's 19!!