We just got back from the Holidome with the kids. They had a blast, of course. Normally, I don't like to swim, but I swam quite a bit with the kids. We had the entire Holidome part of the hotel to ourselves--it was so quiet!
I am extremely self-conscious in a bathing suit. I have been like that my entire life--I've never worn a two piece, and I wear the same suit until it falls apart because I hate shopping for new ones. I had a size 24 suit until Spring 2010, when it was so baggy that it was falling off of me, so I bought a size 10 one (which is now pretty baggy, but it'll do). I only swim once or twice a year--I just don't like it that much. And I've ALWAYS hated wearing a bathing suit in public.
So anyway, having the Holidome to ourselves made me less self-conscious enough to wear a bathing suit--I even walked from our room all the way to the pool in just my suit and flip flops, because nobody was around. Here is where the "walk of shame" comes in. Apparently there was some sort of bachelor party going on in the hotel, and while we were swimming with the kids, a TON of guys (about my age, maybe early 30's) went over by the ping pong tables and set up a bean bag toss game. They were drinking beer and having a good time.
The only way to get back to my room was to walk past them. In my fucking bathing suit.
Jerry and the boys were still in the pool, but I was done and wanted to change into some clothes. So my worst nightmare came true--I walked past about 20 guys in nothing but a bathing suit. My face felt like it was on fire, I was so self-conscious. I felt every jiggle of my thighs and arms. But I made it to the room and changed and it was over. I don't know what I expected--that they would stone me for burning the memory of me in a bathing suit into their brain?!
I slept absolutely horribly last night. The pillows were a mile high and my neck was hurting from it. I finally fell asleep around 4 AM, and then was wide awake at 6. I went to the hotel gym and ran 4 miles on the (old and clunky) treadmill. It was the first time I'd ever been in front of a mirror while running, and it was actually really cool to see. I think I looked pretty good :)
I was SO tempted to say "screw it" and eat whatever I wanted--candy from the vending machines, beer from the bar, order pizza for dinner. It's so easy just to say "I'll start over tomorrow". But I really want to take off as much weight as possible before Sarah's wedding (and before my possible tummy tuck), so I stuck with the plan I made before I left. A bagel with cream cheese from Panera for dinner; and then I had enough calories leftover to have a single-serve container of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. Totally worth passing over candy and pizza!!
I'm so glad that I didn't cave in to the vending machine candy. I don't know why I wanted it so bad! I had to pass it every time I went into the Holidome from our room.
I am extremely self-conscious in a bathing suit. I have been like that my entire life--I've never worn a two piece, and I wear the same suit until it falls apart because I hate shopping for new ones. I had a size 24 suit until Spring 2010, when it was so baggy that it was falling off of me, so I bought a size 10 one (which is now pretty baggy, but it'll do). I only swim once or twice a year--I just don't like it that much. And I've ALWAYS hated wearing a bathing suit in public.
So anyway, having the Holidome to ourselves made me less self-conscious enough to wear a bathing suit--I even walked from our room all the way to the pool in just my suit and flip flops, because nobody was around. Here is where the "walk of shame" comes in. Apparently there was some sort of bachelor party going on in the hotel, and while we were swimming with the kids, a TON of guys (about my age, maybe early 30's) went over by the ping pong tables and set up a bean bag toss game. They were drinking beer and having a good time.
The only way to get back to my room was to walk past them. In my fucking bathing suit.
Jerry and the boys were still in the pool, but I was done and wanted to change into some clothes. So my worst nightmare came true--I walked past about 20 guys in nothing but a bathing suit. My face felt like it was on fire, I was so self-conscious. I felt every jiggle of my thighs and arms. But I made it to the room and changed and it was over. I don't know what I expected--that they would stone me for burning the memory of me in a bathing suit into their brain?!
I slept absolutely horribly last night. The pillows were a mile high and my neck was hurting from it. I finally fell asleep around 4 AM, and then was wide awake at 6. I went to the hotel gym and ran 4 miles on the (old and clunky) treadmill. It was the first time I'd ever been in front of a mirror while running, and it was actually really cool to see. I think I looked pretty good :)
I was SO tempted to say "screw it" and eat whatever I wanted--candy from the vending machines, beer from the bar, order pizza for dinner. It's so easy just to say "I'll start over tomorrow". But I really want to take off as much weight as possible before Sarah's wedding (and before my possible tummy tuck), so I stuck with the plan I made before I left. A bagel with cream cheese from Panera for dinner; and then I had enough calories leftover to have a single-serve container of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. Totally worth passing over candy and pizza!!
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I'm so glad that I didn't cave in to the vending machine candy. I don't know why I wanted it so bad! I had to pass it every time I went into the Holidome from our room.
Anyway, I've written the entry on wine that I promised, so I'll post that tomorrow. Today I plan on lying around all day... I'm SO TIRED from my lack of sleep last night.
