It's so weird how much my emotions can swing sometimes. I'm going to ask my doctor about testing my hormones and vitamins and things, too, just to make sure it's not something to do with that. I'm just SO ready to get out of this funk that's been going on since June!
I have managed to stay on track with my eating, though.
Actually, I've done really well! I replaced the batteries in the (newer) scale that I have, and it works again. I had to throw out the old scale, though, and as stupid as this sounds, it was actually kind of emotional. The depression probably had something to do with that, but still... I had that scale for such a long time! (I got it in the early 2000's--maybe 2002?) It saw me at my heaviest and at my lightest. It was sad to throw it away, but there was no fixing it.
Jerry wanted to try to replace the battery for me, even though it wasn't meant to be replaced (it stuns me how long that battery lasted!). He figured out how to take the bottom of the scale apart (I tried this to no avail several times) and then replaced the battery. But, all it would show after that is 888.8. Then I realized that when I had been trying to figure out how to open the backing, I broke two parts inside that were pretty important.
|Just to change the battery ;)|
It's just a stupid scale, and very replaceable, but I had hope of fixing it. However, after I saw the parts that were broken, I realized that there was no hope left. So, into the trash it went. I think Jerry felt bad he couldn't fix it, because he told me that I should pick out a fancy scale, any scale that I want, to replace it. So, I ordered a nice one on Amazon, and it's supposed to arrive tomorrow. The one I have now is okay, but I've already replaced the batteries three times. The new scale can be plugged in if I want, and I like that idea. Maybe this one will see me back to goal! ;)
Meanwhile, I haven't lost any weight. I'm questioning if this is because of the new medication (antidepressants are notorious for making people gain weight). For the last two weeks, my calories have been great (with the exception of two high-calorie days, but that was never an issue before). I know that it's not my eating that's the problem. I also picked up the running over the last few weeks, so that could have something to do with it (I always tend to gain a little or not lose when I start or increase exercise).
Anyway, I haven't been upset about not losing, but I have been bewildered. I'm going to keep at it, however, because I do feel better about myself when I'm eating well. It would just be nice to drop this weight I've gained! My clothes haven't felt as tight over the last few days, so maybe I'm just retaining water or something. We'll see.
I decided to do a challenge for myself in February. I've been in the mood to eat healthier things lately (more vegetables, less sugar, etc). I still wouldn't call myself a "healthy eater", but my body has been having different sorts of cravings, and I've been listening to it.
For instance, I cannot stand the thought of a "sweet" breakfast. It churns my stomach for some reason, which is very odd. I've always loved having oatmeal or Larabars or something with peanut butter or things like that for breakfast, but now I opt for anything that isn't sweet. I've been eating sourdough toast with coconut oil, which is a delicious combination. Grits with cheese is a favorite, too.
This all started in early November, long before I started the new medication, so I'm kind of stumped as to why--but it's a good thing, I guess! All this to say, next month is going to be about eating vegetables... in the form of a salad every day for lunch. I've never been a salad person, but occasionally I do like to eat one (usually Caesar, which is probably the least healthy of salads, but still counts in my book).
So, February's plan is to eat a salad (of some sort) for lunch every day. My hope is that I will try different salads every day; but if you know me at all, then you know I get in ruts when I find something that I like, and I eat it every day until I get sick of it. (The kids are home from school for a snow day today, so maybe I'll make a list of salads to work from for the month).
I was craving a particular salad in the worst way when I was doing the vegan challenge. For a while a few years ago, I was eating spring mix with balsamic vinegar and olive oil, topped with chicken, tons of black pepper, feta cheese, dried cranberries, and chopped almonds or sunflower seeds. I tired of it, and haven't eaten it since. But it sounds fantastic, so I am going to pick up the ingredients today.
My goal for this challenge is simply to get used to eating more vegetables. I've gotten good at having vegetables with dinner (I like to mix them into casseroles and skillet meals rather than just eat them on the side), so hopefully I can expand that to lunch as well. As a bonus, I'm always at a loss for what to eat for lunch, so this will make the decision easy :)
Today, I finished the first month of my 1SecondEveryday app. I wrote about it before, but it's an app where you record a short video every day and upload just a second of it (or 1.5 seconds, in my case--you can choose to do that if you like) to a calendar. Then the app "stitches" the videos together to give you a glimpse of your month (or year or whatever you like).
Here is my video for January:
There are a couple of days where I wished I'd gotten better videos, but I forgot to do it until shortly before bed, so I had to come up with something on the fly. Anyway, I love this app! It's super fun to see a flashback of my month.
As far as my other long term goals:
- I read one book this month, which was my goal (I'm a slow, easily-distracted reader). The book was actually for reviewing on my blog, and you can read the review here if you'd like. I am now starting "Run!" by Dean Karnazes for February.
- I have been spending more quality time with the kids, and it's been fun! My favorite family time is actually a simple walk around the neighborhood with the kids, Jerry, and Joey. It only takes about 20 minutes, but we don't bring phones or other distractions, and it's nice :)