My Favorite Things: Part 1 (kitchen)

Okay, this post was taking way too long to write, so I'm going to group some things together into separate  posts. (This is the first; you can find PART 2 here.)

I've been meaning to post this about two months ago, and I kept postponing, knowing it was going to take forever. However, I like to do a "favorite things" post once a year--I usually think of it when I'm going about my day and think, "I love this thing". When I really love something, I want to tell everyone about it!

This list is long and varies wildly--from kitchen items to clothes to pet care--so some of it may or may not be relevant here. Regardless, it's fun to make a list of my favorite things. Some of these items have been on my list for years; others are new.

Before I get into the list, I want to note a "life lesson" that I've learned semi-recently and have been trying to teach my kids: quality is the most important factor when buying something that really matters to us. I've always been thrifty and over the years, I've learned what "real" quality is and isn't. This is why I buy a lot of things secondhand. I can get very solid, high-quality secondhand furniture for cheaper than the poor quality brand new stuff!

Some of the items on my list are on the relatively pricey side. This is after years of letting cost be the deciding factor for items we needed. I would buy what was cheapest; and eventually, have to replace it. Only to replace it with something just as cheap. Over the last few years, though, I've finally understood that it's actually less expensive in the long run to buy a good quality item up front, saving the buy-and-replace routine.

If it's something I use a lot, I'll even pay extra for the bells and whistles, if that's what I really want (although, I'm almost always a "give me the basic model" person). I tell my kids to save up for the things they *really* want rather than settling on something (just because it's cheaper) that won't meet their expectations. The quality is worth it. I only mention this because a lot of the things on my list were bought after years of trying cheap alternatives. Okay, here goes...

[Most of the links to Amazon are affiliate links, which means that I may get a small commission if you purchase through the link. I'm not affiliated with any other brands/companies. All of these items were purchased with my own money.]

Food storage containers - If you read the story of the pantry moths, then you know why these are a staple in my house now. (If you haven't read it, you can find it here.) These ones have been awesome! I put literally every single thing that goes into my pantry into an airtight container; I'm not going to deal with that disaster again, haha. Just for your information: the tall containers in my sets did not fit in my mom's cupboards; they fit on my pantry's tall shelves. Just make sure you measure the space you'll be using them before you order! There are several different sets to choose from. I bought a few different sets after the pantry moth incident.

These are the ones that I have: Chef's Path Airtight Food Storage Containers

Reusable bags - I am seriously obsessed with these reusable bags! My mom had some when we went to Eastern Market and I immediately went on Amazon when I got home. They fold up into a tiny pouch (about the size of a cell phone, only more on the square side). They are EASY to fold back into the little pouch--something I wasn't really expecting. I carry six(!) of these in my purse for grocery shopping, although I usually only use 4-5 on a large grocery trip. They are VERY large--it's so nice to be able to bring everything into the house in one trip from the car. Since I carry them in my purse, I don't ever forget them in the car when I go shopping, either.

I used to be a grocery bagger (my first job). I always hated bagging things like cereal boxes because 1) they took up the entire bag, and 2) the corners of the box would tear right through the plastic grocery bags. Then we were told to "double bag" those--that's so much waste!

I really like these bags because I'm able to load a bunch of boxes in there without risk of tearing. I can't even describe how much can fit inside, especially if you really tetris it in there. (Yes, I use "tetris" as a verb.)  They are very thin and light material, but much sturdier than you'd expect. I love these bags!

You can find them here on Amazon: BeeGreen Reusable Bags. (there are a ton of different combinations of designs and quantity in the pack you order)

I promise that they are just as easy to fold back up!

Food Processor - I have a Cuisinart 14-cup food processor. Ever since becoming vegan in January of 2022, I have used some sort of blending appliance almost daily! I wish I'd known how much I would use them and what I'd be using them for, because it would have helped when choosing what to purchase for our needs. I make seitan several times a week (which involves making a dough), and a good food processor is crucial (at least, it saves my hands from the horrible carpal tunnel I deal with).

I had no idea how expensive a good quality food processor was. However, because I use it at least 4-5 times a week, I think it was totally worth it. I have made other things with it, but 90% of the time, it's for making seitan dough.

making seitan, of course ;)

Cheesecloth - I make seitan very frequently, which I wrap in cheesecloth before cooking. I didn't like always having to buy cheesecloth (the gauzy stuff), and it finally occurred to me one day to see if there is reusable cheesecloth (of course there is). This is the cheesecloth I bought: New England Stories Reusable Cheesecloth. It looks very stiff and thick when you first open it, but after washing, it's much looser.

before and after washing

Parchment paper - Every time I use parchment paper, I comment out loud (even if it's just to Duck) about how it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. I never grew up with parchment paper in our house and I always thought that wax paper was the same thing. My mind was BLOWN when I tried actual parchment paper for the first time a couple of years ago. It makes *everything* non-stick on baking sheets and then it's soooo easy to clean the dishes. This is one of the biggest game changers in my life--I'm not even kidding. I'm sure parchment paper is one and the same, but here is the one that I use: If You Care Parchment Baking Paper.

Blender - I have a Vitamix E310 Explorian blender, which I believe is the least expensive in the line of Vitamix blenders. I didn't want any bells or whistles with this--just high powered blending. So, with this model, the quality is there but it's the most basic model. (I think mine was $220 on a Black Friday deal; it's not listed for a deal on Amazon right now, so I don't know if it'll be included in any sales.) 

Anyway, I use my blender very frequently. I blend cashews for various vegan recipes and before the Vitamix, the process took a long time. I had to soak the cashews in hot water for a while, then cool them because my blender couldn't handle hot liquids, then blend them a few times over in order to get them perfectly smooth. The Vitamix allows me to skip straight to the blending part of the cashews.

Because I also blend a lot of spice mixes, I eventually got the "dry container" for Vitamix as well--it's used for dry items like grains for making flour. One day, Jerry wanted cream of rice (something I used to make frequently) and we didn't have any in the pantry. I realized I could probably make it with the Vitamix, so I threw some dry rice in there and about 30 seconds later, I had perfectly blended cream of rice. I've also made chickpea flour, almond flour, oat flour, and lots of spice mixes. I'm not sure exactly how the dry container works differently from the regular one, but it does.

Water bottles - I have always been a water bottle hoarder, but I've gotten a lot better about it over the last couple of years. Still, I have to mention these because they are my FAVORITE water bottles. I had some of these ages ago but I have no idea what happened to them. When I came across them on Amazon, I was thrilled! They are the size of a standard disposable water bottle, but the plastic is much harder and very good quality. I don't like cheap plastic with rough edges; these are nothing like that.

They are so easy to clean, too! Not only can you take the cap off to drink, but the whole top of the bottle comes off for easy washing. (I always hand wash mine, but I think they are dishwasher safe, other than the cap.)

I like to keep these filled in the fridge so I can grab them whenever I want. After I quit drinking (alcohol), I was drinking a lot of La Croix sparkling water. While La Croix is cheaper than alcohol, I was still spending way too much on something as simple as WATER. It was just convenient to grab one from the fridge whenever I was thirsty.

With these water bottles, I fill them with water and then add a packet of True Grapefruit (which I'll mention below). Then I put them in the fridge and each time I empty one, I refill it. That way, I always have one in the fridge. Here is a link to the water bottles: Copco Hydra Reusable Water Bottles.

True Grapefruit/Lemon/Lime/Orange - I first learned of True Lemon (it was only the lemon flavor at the time) when I worked at Curves about 20 years ago. A nutritionist that we worked with at Curves was recommending them. The packets aren't sweetened--they contain literally just crystalized citrus juice, the equivalent of the juice from one wedge of fruit. I like all of the flavors, but the Lime and Grapefruit are my favorite. I actually buy a 500-pack because it's much cheaper that way (per packet). And I go through them quickly (4-5 packets a day). Here is a link to a 100-pack, in case you don't want to invest fully in the 500-pack, haha: True Lemon.

Measuring cups - I never paid a lot of attention to what I like/dislike about measuring cups, but I use them so frequently that I found I have my favorites. These measuring cups are made of one solid piece--the handle isn't separate--and the handles are on the shorter side, so they fit more easily into smaller containers. The measurements are engraved on them, so they can't rub off. And each of them has an "odd" measurement in the middle of the cup--like the 1/4 cup has a line for 1/6 as well.

Here is a link to the measuring cups on Amazon.

Tofu press - Tofu is one of my most favorite foods. I LOVE IT. It's not unusual to have tofu pressing and/or marinating in my fridge pretty much at all times. When I first made tofu, I pressed it by using a popular suggestion of placing paper towels and a plate and heavy cans or books or something on top, changing out the paper towels... not only did I not like how wasteful it was with the paper towels, I just found it to be inconvenient to have taking up the counter space. I quickly invested in this tofu press; and then I ended up buying another because I frequently make two blocks of tofu at a time.

This press (by Tofuture) makes it SO easy to prep tofu for marinating or cooking. I always press the liquid out of tofu even if only to replace it with a marinade--then it adds a lot of flavor. For this tofu press, you just set the tofu inside of the green inner piece (with the holes on the bottom). Then put that piece inside the white container and top with the lid. I pull the silicone straps down to the lowest notch in order to squeeze out as much water as possible. If I'm in a hurry, I'll even press down hard on the top in order to squeeze out the liquid right away.

If you're new to tofu, I highly suggest trying this recipe linked below. You don't have to buy any special ingredients (you can just skip the nutritional yeast--no big deal). And you don't even have to press the tofu! You just combine a few everyday ingredients in a bowl, crumble in a block of tofu, spread out on a baking sheet (lined with parchment!), and bake for 40 minutes or so. It will look kind of like ground beef. Then you can add a jar of your favorite marinara sauce (or use homemade) and serve over pasta. Super easy and if you've never tried tofu before, this is a great way to give it a try. Recipe is at It Doesn't Taste Like Chicken.

Baking mats - Ever since I discovered the amazing parchment paper, I don't use baking mats in the oven. However, I love to use them when I need a "clean work surface" to knead dough (again, I make a ton of seitan). I just lay it out on the counter and whenever I need to set some dough aside, I can just set it on the mat. I can flour and knead on the mat, too. Very convenient. They are probably one and the same, but here is the ones I have: Kitzini Silicone Baking Mats.

Spice jars - One of my very favorite parts of my kitchen is my spice shelf. Since becoming vegan, I've used SO many spices that I'd never used before. In the past, I had about 10 spices that were routine. Now, I regularly use ALL of what you see in my pantry. I really love this jar set that I have--it makes everything look so nice and neat! Here is the set on Amazon: Glass Spice Jars with labels.

...And that's what I've got for the kitchen. I have so many favorite things! I'll post more tomorrow... (edit: You can find Part 2 here.)

Also: I always like hearing what others are loving and their favorite things, so please share yours! You can either post here or I started a Facebook post and you can share there (with a link). Here is the link for the post on Facebook: Favorite things

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Meme Monday: Cats!

I spent all day today working on my "Favorite Things" post and it *still* isn't ready. I haven't posted memes in a while, so I thought I'd share some in the meantime. While I was looking through the ones I've saved, I noticed a bunch of cat ones--which gave me the idea to do today's cat theme.

So, here are some fun cat memes. Enjoy!

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Friday Night Photos #135

I didn't realize just how few pictures I've taken recently until I uploaded them to my computer today. Unfortunately, I don't even have any good stories to write! Hahaha. But here is a little of what's been going on this week...

I was in the living room one morning when I heard an odd noise from the kitchen. It sounded like "Shhhh (pause) shhhhh (pause) shhhh (pause)..." etc. I had no clue what it could possibly be. In case one of the cats (ahem, DUCK) was getting into trouble, I snuck in there to catch him in the act.

It turns out, he'd taken a bag of onions from the pantry and was sliding it across the floor with his teeth! He grabbed the drawstring for the bag, then walked a few steps, pulled the bag to him by the drawstring, walked a few more, etc. The poor cat loves playing with strings so much; I wish I could let him!

Chick would somehow find a way to swallow the entire drawstring of this produce bag.

I reached 1,000 days sober on Sunday. When I think of it as 1,000 days it doesn't seem that long but, in February, that will be three years... where did that time go?! Quitting drinking was a huge turning point for me as far as taking care of my health, and I'm SO glad that I quit. It was hard to do--as hard as, if not harder, than losing over a hundred pounds--but completely worth it.

I don't want to call Luke and Riley "spoiled", because they don't act spoiled at ALL; but it's hard to think of things to do with them or to gift them because they have everything and they've been everywhere and they've done everything! Hahaha, not entirely accurate, of course, but it feels like that sometimes. I want to send them things in the mail, but I also don't want to buy more "stuff" for them to accumulate.

I like doing handmade things because it will be something they don't already have. When Jerry and I first got together in 1999, I made him a little Altoids tin memory box. I glued a picture to the inside cover, a quote on the bottom, and put a few mementos in there. I recently made him a new one and it gave me the idea to make a tin for each Luke and Riley.

When I searched Pinterest, I was surprised to find that so many other people already had the idea to use Altoids tins for crafts like that! I really liked the idea of a tiny stuffed cat for Riley and some sort of game/puzzle for Luke. This is what I came up with:

Riley's has a little bed and blanket for a cat that I made out of felt (the inspiration for the cat came from this ornament). I cut a tiny teddy bear from a piece of fabric that I had, and then backed it with felt--so the cat has a teddy bear to sleep with. The "window" can have a day scene or night scene.

Luke's looks so plain, but I think it's appropriate for him. I printed out tangram diagrams on a little card that I have since glued to the top of the tin. I printed out the tangram square, with shapes in different colors, to match the pieces in the diagram. Then I stuck the square onto an adhesive magnet and cut out the individual pieces. Finally, I coated them with Mod Podge. The magnets stay in the bottom of the Altoid tin and Luke can put the different shapes together per the diagram. Since the kids fly all the time, I thought a little pocket toy would be something they can bring on the plane with them.

Next, this is absolutely ridiculous. A lot of times when I can't sleep, I find myself falling down the Reddit rabbit hole. I don't even remember what I was reading one night, but I came across the comment of someone saying that she has this bag of little plastic babies and she hides them around for her husband to randomly come across. The whole thing just sounded so weird and--fun! I bought a bag of them on Amazon.

I put a few of them around the house where Jerry could find them that day or maybe not for a year... I didn't want them to be in places that were super obvious. I chose one random jacket in the closet and he just so happened to wear it the next day. He laughed when he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the plastic baby. He said that Riley must have put it in there and he didn't notice.

I don't know what he did with it, but the next day, he found one that was hidden in a can of coffee. He thought it was the same baby and started laughing... he thought I'd taken the one that "Riley" put in his pocket and just re-hid it. This went on for a couple of days and it was pretty funny. Jerry then decided to hide it himself and Eli found it in his shoe. Eli thought Noah did it because, apparently, it's a trend to do this with the plastic babies?!

I assumed that the person's comment I'd read was just a prank she played on her husband and I had no idea that it was actually a thing. I ended up telling Jerry what was happening with the babies (he was getting so confused, thinking there was still just one baby). I'm still going to hide them once in a while, though ;)

What started out as, "I'm going to make a fanny pack!" one morning turned into a bigger project than I planned, but I think it turned out pretty cute. While searching for fanny pack ideas, I came across "bum bags", "hip bags", "sling bags", "crossbody sling bags", and several other names and bags with slight variances.

Rather than making the fanny pack I'd been picturing, I ended up making this crossbody sling bag that has a cell phone pocket on the strap. (The strap crosses your chest, with the backpack part in back, so the cell phone pocket rests in front of my shoulder.) Usually, I like either written directions or I just wing it on my own, but this one just had a YouTube video. So, I had to keep referencing the video for each measurement and step. It worked out, though. (Here is the YouTube video)

Finally, we have SO much fruit on our counter right now. Jerry's employer gives all of the employees a turkey or ham each Thanksgiving, and Jerry didn't know it until becoming plant-based, but you can opt for a fruit basket instead of the meat. I would have liked to see a bigger variety of fruit--it has apples, oranges, grapefruit, and a pineapple--but it's fruit, nonetheless. It doesn't look like much when it's in the basket, but holy cow--there is a lot of fruit in there! I think I'm going to make homemade applesauce in the crockpot.

And that's all I've got. Have a great weekend! xo

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Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 129

I'm alive! I had absolutely no intention of taking a blog break, especially one so long, but the time flew by. I'm not even sure where to start catching up, although there really isn't much to catch up on.

I almost decided to just wait until tomorrow to get back to writing, simply because I do not want to do a weigh-in today. I keep reminding myself that I don't "owe" a weigh-in on my blog, but I still feel guilty for not doing it. I haven't avoided the scale like this in a long time! (Avoiding the scale is usually a slippery slope for me.)

I feel exactly like I did last year when I gained weight so quickly. I'd been ridiculously overwhelmed emotionally, and when I felt like things may be looking back up, it was like I had this sense of relief and suddenly my appetite skyrocketed. I hadn't realized how low my appetite had been in the late summer/early fall until it snapped back so quickly.

After what Jerry calls "the worst year of our lives" (referring to the long series of mini-disasters/events that we've dealt with), things are starting to look up. I am very afraid of jinxing it, so I won't get into detail until everything goes as promised, but Jerry got some very good news at work about his work schedule--as we've mentioned, he's been trying to get a day shift for a while now--and what they've promised him is better than he'd even hoped. But I'm not considering it done until it happens, which is supposed to be in mid-December.

Paying off the car and house last month was a huge relief--debt, even a mortgage, always leaves that tiny nagging feeling somewhere inside of unfinished business. (At least it does for me.) Even though it came at the price of my car (literally), it's been worth it! When I have errands to run or places to go, I just plan them for when Jerry is either home sleeping or off work.

We've looked into getting another vehicle, but right now is the worst time ever to buy a car. The interest rates alone are FIVE TIMES higher than they were for when we bought my car in 2020! So, until interest rates go down, we're going to continue to make do with one car between Jerry and me.

Anyway, the point is that I've felt so much RELIEF recently. Aside from the fact that our furnace completely quit working a couple of days ago (*sigh*), we haven't had disasters since the flood. Jerry has been feeling this sense of relief, too, and it's been so nice for both of us.

Except... we've been eating terribly. Both of us. It's almost like we've been treating the last couple of weeks like a vacation, hahaha. You know that feeling of going on vacation and all of the usual food habits/rules don't apply? That's how we've been acting. (I'm still eating vegan, but vegan doesn't mean healthy--that's for sure.) And I know that my weight is going up, even without looking at the scale. I can see it in the mirror, I can feel it in my clothes, and I definitely feel it when I move my body.

Yesterday, Jerry and I talked about how our eating habits have gotten really slack and we both feel ready to get back on track. It's only fun for so long; and this "vacation" has to end before we both gain 50 pounds. The funny thing is, we aren't harping on it at all. Yes, I wish I'd been making better choices for sure--but I also don't feel self-hatred or anything for being rather reckless recently. Getting through the last year without gaining 50 pounds is an accomplishment in itself.

The hardest part right now is just recognizing that I'm not "too far gone" and the dietary damage can be minimized. It's amazing how quickly our taste buds can change, though. The healthy food I'd gotten so used to eating doesn't have the same appeal that it did a few weeks ago. I also started craving junk foods that I hadn't even thought of for at least a year or more.

Thankfully, just as taste buds can change for the worse, they can also change for the better. After a few weeks (or maybe less) of eating healthy again, I'll start to enjoy it just as much as before; and the cravings I've developed will go away.

Through all of it, though, I've managed to continue my daily running habit. It's been 75 days and I've run around the block (sometimes two blocks) every morning, before I do anything else. There are days (most days, probably) that I think for a moment (in a whiny voice), "I don't want to run today!" but then I remind myself that it's literally one block--I can pretty much see my house during the entire 0.4 miles--so my brief "I don't want to" thought is dismissed right away.

I think I got overzealous with adding more habits in October, however, so I'd like to go back to the basics. I can pick ONE new habit to work on each month, otherwise I get forgetful/overwhelmed trying to make too many changes at the same time.

I feel like the running habit is fully ingrained now, and while I've already been pretty good about this, I'd like to work on making stretching a major daily habit like the running is. I was trying to make it a habit to stretch before bed, but found that to be inconvenient during my evening routine; I am much more likely to do it if I do it in the afternoon. And it's not that I dislike it! I always feel good afterward. And I definitely think it's been making a difference in the flexibility/stiffness in my back.

I'd been working on doing three stretches for 30 seconds each, but I found myself always doing it longer. So now I'm going plan to do four stretches for a daily habit; I'll likely do more than I plan, but like running, I'm keeping the goal very low in order to make it a daily habit.

Also, in order to work on making it a habit, I'm going to plan to do it at 1:45 every afternoon. I don't have an afternoon routine in order to stack habits like I do in the mornings and evenings, but usually, 1:30-2:00 is a regularly convenient time during the day. I'll see how that works and reassess if doing it at a particular time isn't working out.

Okay, this post was kind of all over the place, but that's what I get for taking a week off of blogging. In a nutshell: I've not been doing well lately with my diet but, mentally, I feel better than I have in a long time. Still, I want to get back to eating/behaving how I feel best. This week I am going to face the scale and work from there.

I did meal planning today, and considering that our furnace is broken right now, I've included a lot of soup. That's usually an easy thing to throw in the crockpot, so I think that will help with healthy dinners this week. I'm going to focus on getting in a lot of fiber; something I've been lacking recently. Adding beans to soup is the easiest way to get in a ton of fiber!

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Just Photos

These were supposed to be "Friday Night Photos", and then Saturday, and then Sunday... so now I'm just calling them photos. I've actually been working on another post (or more likely, a series of posts) of all of my favorite things. I like to do that once a year around this time. And this year, I'm not just including the things that are "giftable"; I've been taking pictures of things that I use every day (or close to it) and that I love. Then I'll put them in a series of posts.

Anyway, here are some photos from the past week or so...

One evening I was kind of bored and I wanted a project to work on, but nothing that would take me hours to complete. I like to look at repurposed denim jeans on Pinterest to get some ideas of things to make (I love repurposing jeans!).

Jerry and I love quoting movies randomly into pretty much every conversation, and one of them them is "You completely me"--not from Jerry McGuire, but rather from Austin Powers! So, thought it would be cute (and super cheesy) to make matching keychains--I gave Jerry the one with the button and me the one with the hole, because it just seemed right, Haha!

They were super fast and easy to make--I just used the waistband of a pair of jeans that was too big. (I really wished I had a pair of Lucky Brand jeans, because I thought the button saying "Lucky" would be cute.)

This is the new Asian pear tree. It's about five feet tall. I'm hoping and praying with all my might that I get Asian pears from it. (I do have another Asian pear tree I planted last year so they can cross pollinate.) PLEASE LET THEM GROW FRUIT. (This one is in our side yard, which doesn't get pictured much. It's on the side of the garage between the garage and neighbor's driveway. I think it'll get the most sun there.

I've started another habit that Joey loves. As soon as I'm done eating dinner, we go for a walk around the neighborhood (and then he gets dinner when we get home). Now that he's used to the morning runs, he's getting used to this evening walk. He learns quickly!

Eli and Ava went to pick out pumpkins to carve, and (as I do as a worried mom sometimes) looked at his location to make sure he got there okay. I was so surprised to see this on Google Maps! This is the pumpkin patch/apple orchard they went to, and obviously, that is the corn maze. How cool is that?! I'm always SO amazed at how people make these things. And I get really excited when I happen to see them from an airplane.

Ignoring my suggestion to buy a cheap "gun" from a dollar store, this is Eli's last-minute Han Solo costume. For having no time and a small budget using thrift store items, I'm pretty proud of what I came up with. Ava looks adorable as Princess Leia (it was very cold, so they layered up a bit). 

This was on Halloween when Eli got home and Jerry and I were still in the garage waiting for trick-or-treaters. We made asked Eli to sit with us for a few.

Jerry was SO EXCITED to wear his Ghostbusters costume (he's seriously obsessed with his proton pack) and then hugely disappointed because we only had TWO trick-or-treaters! We were both super bummed. I love to see the kids' Halloween costumes while they come get candy. Also, I like that I get to meet neighbors that I am unfamiliar with.

Even worse, we had all of this candy left over! I wanted to buy vegan candy this year, and we thought it would be fun to be the "cool house" by handing out the big movie-theater size boxes.

After a little while, I set up the skeletons and told Jerry that it was us, next Halloween, still waiting for trick-or-treaters to come.

This mess below is hardly recognizable. This is the car of my friend's son. Can you believe it?! He's okay; he had to get surgery on his hip, but is otherwise fine. He also had two friends in the car with him, and those two walked away without a scratch! My friend Amber and I were pregnant at the same time with Noah and her son, Kaden, and we spent a ton of time together when the boys were growing up. The boys lost touch throughout the years, but this completely stunned me when I heard what happened. After seeing what had happened to my boys' cars and being horrified, I cannot imagine poor Amber (or Joe, Kaden's dad) when they saw this!

Riley went over to my mom's house a couple of days ago--Luke and Riley were in town for the weekend and Riley had a special "girls morning" with my mom. I went over to see her, and my mom asked me to do Riley's hair. (Brian has no idea how to do it, so it's usually my job when Riley is here.) I wanted to do something different than her usual braids, so I channeled 1998-me and did mini buns all over. I thought it looked super cute!

And that's all I've got. Depending on how long it takes me to work on the post(s) of my favorite things, I may or may not get that started tomorrow.

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Three Things Thursday: Life Lessons

I woke up yesterday thinking that it was Thursday. I then spent all morning working on this post. And you know what I realized just before I published it? It wasn't Thursday, after all; it was WEDNESDAY. So, the good news was that Thursday's post written. But then I had to work on Wednesday's.

I chose this topic because November 1st was Marks actual birthday, and since I learned so much from him in the final months of his life, I thought it would be a good idea to share some of the lessons he taught me (without realizing it). Here are three things that I learned from my friendship with Mark...

1. Be grateful for everything.

Mark was, without a single doubt, the most grateful person I've ever known. By a long shot. Living in a group home for men with special needs, he had very few possessions--I believe he was only given a small "allowance" from the money that was given to the home by the state for his care--but I never once heard him complain about or even ask for anything.

My dad actually met Mark because he'd frequently see Mark walking around the neighborhood looking for empty cans and bottles so that he could collect the 10 cent deposit on them, which he used for "pocket money" (he liked to buy cigarettes).

On his birthdays, we would like to get him a little something; it didn't matter what it was, he would open it and exclaim that it was just what he wanted. He went on about how great it was. If it was a shirt, for example, he would put it on immediately and feel proud to wear it.

When he was in the hospital and a nurse would come in to give him some sort of medication, he would always say, "Thank you, thank you so much." Even if it was a shot!

When he received hundreds of cards from my blog readers, he was grateful for every single one. I read each of them out loud to him. And in the ones that contained a gift card or some money or a gift, he couldn't believe that a stranger would give him something like that. When the nurses or cleaning staff came in, he'd sweep his arm in a gesture across the walls where his cards hung, saying, "Look at all these people that care about me!"

Another big one was coffee. Mark only drank instant coffee (the kind that you scoop into boiling water and stir around until it dissolves). Well, I'm pretty sure most of us would agree that it's, well, far from appetizing. The first time I offered to bring him a fancy coffee from Starbucks, he waved his hand and said, "Oh, I already have coffee right over there. I don't need anymore coffee."

Still, coming from a world that he wasn't really aware of, I wanted him to try something he'd never tried before. I bought him the most ridiculous coffee on the menu, all the frilly so-and-so mix-ins and toppings. (I'm not a coffee person so I am clueless when it comes to all the words I hear in the movies of people ordering coffee, hahaha). Mark was blown away! He was still more than happy with his instant coffee, but he was excited each time I brought him a "fancy" coffee as well.

I try to keep his grateful attitude in mind when I find myself thinking something negative. I think the fact that he grew up with nothing made it easier for him to be grateful for the small things in life; and since I grew up in a middle-class family, I find it harder. However, I do try to see things from his point of view, *especially* when receiving a gift from someone. When people put any sort of time, money, or thought into a gift--I don't look at the gift itself but at the person's thought and meaning behind it. It's impossible not to feel grateful that way!

2. Embrace the outdoors.

This one is hard for me. I've never been an "outdoorsy" person; I like to stay inside, out of the sun, and have control of the temperature, the lighting, the sound, etc. I get very distracted by certain things, especially noises; and birds drive me CRAZY. It's so hard for me to concentrate on anything at all when I can hear birds. I know that many people love the sound of birds; I am just not one of them.

Mark loved the outdoors. He would prefer to be outdoors more than anywhere else. Being in the hospital and group home was torture for him, because he couldn't leave as he pleased. In his group home, he could go for long walks outside or spend time working on the grounds at the home. My dad would take him fishing in the boat sometimes and Mark lived for those days. The staff told my dad that he couldn't have gotten there soon enough, because it was all Mark could talk about.

I believe this is from a time that his brother brought him camping

I will never forget the last day that I saw Mark, when he was propped in front of the TV at his nephew's house. Mark's eyes looked kind of empty and I felt terrible. I knew he'd rather be outside. When I asked about it, his nephew said that it was really cold outside. I decided that the next time I went, I would bring some warm clothes with me to bundle him up and take him for a walk outside (although he passed away before I could do that).

After that, I started going outside more frequently to try to see what Mark loved about it so much. That's about the time when I discovered just how much I enjoy squirrels. Sitting outside on the back deck and watching the squirrels was actually pretty entertaining! I started to think of them as pets, and they became more and more tame as I fed them "the good stuff" (walnuts, hazelnuts, and pecans in the shell).

One of the greatest feelings (to this day) is seeing how the squirrels came to trust me. I've never once tried to scare them in order to see them jump and race up the tree. I've always been patient and kind, and I speak in a soothing voice so that they get to recognize me and that I won't hurt them. Knowing that they trust me brings me so much joy.

Sitting outside and watching/feeding the squirrels brings me the happiness that I think Mark got from being outside. He enjoyed walking all over the place (and especially fishing with my dad), and while I do occasionally like a long walk when the weather is great, I prefer sitting on the deck or even around a fire at night.

3. Don't take time with people for granted.

One of my biggest regrets in life is that I didn't *truly* get to know Mark until after his cancer diagnosis. I always looked forward to seeing him on Halloween and on the occasion my dad would pick him up to go fishing or just come hang out at the house. It never occurred to me that having interaction with my family meant SO much to him.

Mark didn't have any family (that we knew of). He was orphaned as a child, and his brother died a long time ago. We didn't know about Mark's nephew until after he was sick. So basically, other than the staff and other residents in the home, we were what Mark had as far as family/loved ones.

This hit home for me one day when it was my duty to pick Mark up from the home and bring him to the park where we had a surprise 60th birthday party for my dad. When I went to the home, the owner told me that she was so worried that nobody would show up to get him because he hadn't stopped talking about "Reggie's" birthday party. For days!

He felt so included that day. The fact that he was *invited* to the party and we wanted him there. I think he had a great time just fitting in as part of the party. A lot of the people who attended were people who knew of Mark because they lived in the neighborhood where he walked. And they knew my dad befriended him, and that he was important to my family. He wasn't ignored; people talked to him and I think that meant a lot to him.

I think of this frequently in these post-pandemic days, when people seem to want nothing to do with getting together with people. For the people who crave interaction, like Mark, the only way they can get it is with other people who enjoy interaction. And with so many things being online now, it feels like we never see people in person anymore.

I am very much an introvert and making plans with people is super hard for me. I usually don't want to do it, right up until I'm actually there! But I am almost *always* happy that I go, and that I talk to friends and remember just what it is that I enjoy about interacting with them. There are so many things that you can't do over the internet or via texting or even talking on the phone. Being with people in person is something that can't be modernized in every way. I feel sorry for people whose love language is physical touch!

Jerry has said that the pandemic has made him more introverted, which kind of scares me. He has always been my opposite; when I didn't want to make plans, I would go ahead and make plans anyway--knowing it was best for him. And then I always enjoyed going! So now, I've been pushing him to make plans with friends before he stops doing it altogether.

Mark knew nothing about computers or smart phones, or texting... his only interaction was done in person. As terrible as it sounds, I can see a little bit of good in the timing of his death. Yes, he was young when he died. But if he was around much longer, he would have had to be around during the pandemic when he wouldn't have our visits to look forward to. And he wouldn't have understood why that was.

We were able to visit him very often while he was sick, and for that I'm very grateful. I know it meant the world to him. He loved his interactions with people--even the staff at the nursing home, who weren't exactly the friendliest--and without that, I think he may have lost his spirit. And Mark's spirit was the brightest I'd ever seen!

And a bonus... The words "I love you" have SO much meaning.

I'll keep this part short, but it's important. Since Mark was orphaned so young, and his brother died years prior to Mark's death, he grew up in a group home setting. On the last day that I saw Mark, just before we were leaving, he still had that sad look in his eyes while he was in front of the TV. I gave him a hug, then looked him in the eye and said, "I love you". It was the first time I'd said it to him, but if it was going to be the last time I saw him, I wanted to make sure he heard it.

At that moment, his eyes sparked to life. I can't explain it, but the physical change was like a light switch turned on and his eyes lit up--it was very noticeable. And it occurred to me at that moment that Mark had probably never heard those words, at least since he was a child (or possibly from his brother). My heart felt like it was breaking and I wished I'd told him that sooner.

Ever since my kids were babies, I've *always* made sure that I tell them "I love you" several times a day. Every single time they leave the house. Every single time we hang up the phone. Every single time we end a text. At the end of every argument. They know that I love them; but I want them to hear it all the time so there is never any doubt. I want it to be the last thing they remember me saying.

Everybody should hear those words from loved ones--partners, kids, family, and friends. Even when overused, it really does mean something. Mark taught me just how important it is to hear those words out loud.

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Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 127

I skipped last week's weigh in, and I so badly wanted to skip today's weigh-in as well. I promised myself that I wouldn't skip two in a row (that becomes a slippery slope for me) so I faced the scale. I haven't been doing well for a couple of months now, and I just can't seem to find the discipline to get back to doing the habits that made me feel my best.

I'll rip off the bandaid and get right to it. I was at 137.8 today, which is a 2.8 pound gain from a couple of weeks ago. That also puts me over my targeted maintenance range of 125-135.

I want to say that I'm shocked, but I'm not. I am still struggling with the cycle of bad habits that are hard to break. I manage to go a day without sweets, but then ultimately cave. I meant to track my food this week and forgot about it, but I'm sure I've been overeating in other areas. If I can just kick the sweets, I think I'll be able to get back to where I feel my best.

A friend of mine mentioned to me yesterday that she noticed that she goes through this same cycle over and over again: She gets into goal-setting mode, reading books and creating a plan, only to stick with it for a few days. Then she quits and her thought process goes to wanting to love her body where it's at and not obsessing over food or weight. So she does that for a while, before going to back to wanting to lose the weight again.

I can completely relate to that--I went though that same cycle for decades! It wasn't until the last couple of years that I stopped and I finally know what I want. I want to love myself, but I also want to love a body that I feel comfortable in. I never felt comfortable in an overweight body. Not because of how I looked, but because it physically is harder to move around, clothes don't feel right, and I just generally don't feel healthy.

I also learned how to get there. The main goal is to FEEL GOOD. Both mentally and physically. And over the last couple of years, I've realized what makes me feel good. I feel my best when I'm at around 130 pounds; when I'm not drinking; when I take my iron supplement; when I eat a healthy vegan diet and no sweets; when I don't overeat; and when I have a routine schedule.

Those things are obviously personal to ME. Everybody has their own way of life that makes them feel their best. My friend asked me how I discovered those things, and it honestly just took me time, trial, and error. It wasn't until I had quit drinking for about nine months or so that I realized how much better being sober made me feel. It took about a month for a vegan diet to make a difference in my chronic pain (and probably three months for the pain to go away completely). It took a full three months of no sweets/desserts before I noticed a difference in how it made me feel (I was SO much more energetic and less tired).

The point is, it took time. And I kind of found those things out accidentally. I quit eating sweets because they made me crave more sweets and I hated fighting cravings and obsessing over sweets all the time. Then after a few months, I finally noticed the effects of giving them up. And when I (stupidly) ate a few pieces of caramel corn one day, the cravings hit so hard and I felt crappy again. That's how I learned the effects of sugar on my body. (To be clear, I'm talking about the refined sugar in desserts/candy/etc. I eat a lot of fruit and naturally sweet things and they have no effect on cravings for me.)

Right now, I'm stuck in that rut of craving sweets all the time. It's unbelievable how strong the cravings can get and it feels impossible to say no.

Yesterday, I created a menu for the week and I went grocery shopping to get everything I needed. Now, I have no reason to go to the store (which is what makes it easy to buy sweets). I also told Jerry that I don't want him buying anything for me on his way home. I just need a good streak of about four days before this will get easier.

I have kind of a lot going on this week, so I'm hoping that it will help me to keep my mind off of the sweets. I'm really really *really* hoping that next week's post will be a positive one! ;)

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