Okay, so now that I am back home from California and I've had a few days to settle in, I need to make a plan for this year. Going on the trip made me feel excited about things again--and I haven't felt excited in a long time. I'm not saying that the trip totally cured my depression (I've done a fair share of crying the last couple of days), but it gave me hope and that's what I needed more than anything.
I went to the doctor yesterday to discuss medication again. As I wrote about a month ago, I started an additional antidepressant. I really didn't feel any different after three weeks of taking it twice a day. I was really questioning if the medication I was on for the last 15 years was even working, so I decided to stop all medication and see how I felt (fully expecting to feel worse before getting better).
I quit cold turkey, and I thought I'd have a terrible time with it, but I honestly didn't notice any change. I felt exactly the same! So, it seems that it quit working some time ago, probably because I was on it for so long.
My doctor agreed that it was time to try something new. So, as soon as it gets approved by my insurance, I'll be trying another medication. (Last time I wrote about trying something new, I got a lot of emails asking what medication I'm taking... I'd prefer not to share that, simply because I don't want people to think they should take what I'm taking. Medication is so individualized that it should really be up to our doctors to decide what we should try. Also, I don't even know if it's going to work yet.)
Anyway, going to to San Diego and hanging out with lots of From Fat to Finish Line peeps made me change my attitude a bit about running. I'm not really interested in getting faster right now, and I want to enjoy running as much as I can (for as long as I can). I did Hansons' Half-Marathon Method for a couple of weeks to start training for Indy, and I was already feeling burnt out.
I decided that I'm going to follow my own half-marathon plan (the "Finish Strong" plan). It's perfect to prepare for a half-marathon, but the training isn't crazy intense and it doesn't have so many miles that I will lose my mojo. And it starts this Monday (12 weeks out from Indy).
I changed the days of the week, so that I'll have Wednesdays and Saturdays off (I'm used to always having those two days off). So, the weekly runs will look like this:
Monday- Easy run (30-45 min)
Tuesday- Speed work (1-5 min intervals)
Thursday- Easy run (30-45 min)
Friday- Easy run (30-60 min)
Sunday- Long run (4-12 miles)
I think this will be good to get me back in the routine I prefer (running five days a week, with Wednesdays and Saturdays off, and having some short runs in there). The training plan is 12 weeks, and I'm going to allow myself four "free days"--where I can decide not to run for whatever reason and not feel guilty about it. I just can't use it to skip a long run! (I have to be prepared for Indy).
As far as racing plans for the year, I don't have many. I plan to make Indy my "comeback" half-marathon, but I'm not going to be racing it hard. I want to just run for fun, maybe with a couple of people who I'm meeting, and just enjoy the race.
I would like to do more local racing or join in on some group runs. We just got a running store in my hometown, and they have group runs on Wednesdays and Saturdays (ha! My two rest days). I'd like to step out of my comfort zone and go.
I also want to focus less on numbers. Obviously, I still need to get in mileage to train, but I'm not going to worry so much about heart rate or pace. I'll just run "slow" when my schedule calls for an easy run, and "faster" when it calls for speed work. Simple!
Going to California also made me really want to travel some more. I'm going to start cutting back on unnecessary spending in order to save up money to travel more. This year is already pretty booked.
April 21: Boston to visit Caitlin
May 5: Indianapolis with Jerry and to meet up with about 15 blog readers!
May 26: Portland to visit Thomas
June 30: Upper Peninsula of Michigan with my parents and siblings
November 9: Las Vegas with Jerry and From Fat to Finish Line!
All of Jerry's vacation time is already in the books, so there won't be other trips (not that five isn't more than enough already). My sister owns some property in the far northwest part of Michigan, so we're going to stay there with her over the fourth of July. I'm really excited about it, because I love spending time with my family. And, Joey gets to come with us! Jeanie's got an enormous area (several acres, I believe) that is fenced off for her dogs, so Joey can come and hang with us.
Thinking about traveling and visiting friends has been very helpful in improving my mood. Whenever I start feeling down, I've been trying to think about a trip that I'm excited about, and it helps so much. It's funny, because I used to HATE traveling before I got over my fear of flying; and now, I look forward to it!
As far as my weight and diet, I haven't really changed plans. I'd like to get back down to my goal weight, but it's not at the top of my priority list. I'm pretty happy with how I look and feel right now, and when I saw the pictures of me in San Diego, I wasn't horrified or embarrassed ;) This is totally new to me--I always used to feel like a failure when my weight was up, but something happened this past summer that made me realize that my weight just isn't that damn important (assuming I'm still healthy and not gaining 10 pounds a month or anything! ha).
Basically, I don't want to always feel like I'm waiting to start my life until I'm at goal weight. I can do everything at this weight that I could when I was 30 pounds lighter (well, except fit into size 2 jeans!), so I might as well just live my life now. Hopefully that makes sense.
This week has flown by. I was working on a project as a gift for someone, and the time went by so quickly. I'm hoping to get it mailed out tomorrow, so once the person receives it, I will post a photo. I'm pretty excited about how it turned out! (I had to watch YouTube tutorials to figure out how to do it).
Jerry's off work tomorrow, and we are going to see a comedy show at our favorite dive bar. They've never done a show there, so I'm interested to see how it goes ;) Have a great weekend, everyone!