May 30, 2020

Parenting is Hard Sometimes!

I'm feeling much better today! (Despite the way I look in this spontaneous selfie that I literally took just now when I realized I don't have any photos for this post!)

It's a long story as to why I was upset yesterday. I'm not sure if Eli would want me to share ALL the details (nothing serious--just about baseball) so I'll just write the gist. Basically, as a parent, you want your kids to be happy more than anything else. Eli is very shy and I'm always trying to get him to step outside his comfort zone to fit in and make friends.

I LOVE that he marches to the beat of his own drum and doesn't care what other people think, but I still worry about his happiness. Baseball has been tough--he started on this travel team during the middle of the winter season and all of the other kids have been playing together for years. Eli is the "newbie" and none of them go to his school. (If *I* was in that situation, I would be a complete nervous wreck)

Eli played in his first tournament with them yesterday, and it almost felt like a "try-out" to see if he's good enough to play in future tournaments. I was SO nervous for him! It didn't go as well as we'd hoped, and my heart was just broken in a million pieces for him. (It didn't help that the kid who batted right before him hit an over-the-fence home run with two people on base... talk about pressure!)

It wasn't "just a game" to me--I had spent a couple of years trying to get him on this team, and I wanted everyone to see just how good he is. I wanted him to feel like one of the team.

Unfortunately, he didn't get to play catcher (which is his usual position--and he's an AMAZING catcher). I came home and just went in my bedroom and cried. It sounds so stupid, I know. I just want him to be happy--he's the most compassionate, loving, KIND kid that I've ever known (and I'm not just being biased).

Anyway, I got a good five hours of sleep (that's more than I've been getting lately), and today I was pretty productive. I hung a sheet of drywall (yes, just one, but it took a while to maneuver it in the right spot). I also cleaned out our drawer full of office supplies and a couple of other totes that have office supplies in them--I love to organize drawers and shelves! It looks so much better. (I should've taken a before and after pic)

I took Eli to the Metropark to go fishing with a friend (this is his first time seeing a friend in months!). They were outside and fishing at least six feet apart, so I felt comfortable with it.

I've also been working on the Runs for Cookies Summer Run/Walk Challenge! It should be ready to post soon. This will be the fourth annual--and THIS TIME, I really really want to finish it! Haha. It's my own challenge and lots of people do it, but I have yet to complete it.

I think I'm going to do it a little differently this year. I may do a point system and the person with the most points will get a prize (an Amazon gift card or something like that). Or maybe I'll come up with a few prizes. I'm still thinking it over.

I've really been in the mood to organize, so tomorrow, I think I'll hang a sheet or two of drywall in the garage, and then spend the rest of the day organizing things that need it. Eli has another baseball game in Toledo tomorrow night (it starts at 8:30!) so it'll likely be a late night.

I'm not sure if he'll get to play tomorrow, but I hope so--please think positive thoughts for him that he blows them away with his talent!

1 comment:

  1. You're such a good mom, Katie! I'm sure Eli can feel your all encompassing love for him. That kind of love gives a person power. Power to go out in the world and do things because they know, whatever happens, they have that love to fall back on. Not everyone has that. My son is just 6 months old, and I aspire to exhibit that kind of love for him. Bless your mama heart. <3


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