August 08, 2023

Some FML Moments of the Week

Since Jerry is still working on a special project at work (it's tough, but a great opportunity for him--he's enjoying it) I decided not to even ask him about writing his "deep thoughts" post today. He likes writing those, but it usually takes him forever because he types with two fingers.

I remember taking typing class in the seventh grade, and I'm pretty fast at typing (on an actual keyboard--I'm the slowest ever at typing on my phone!). Jerry said they never had typing class at his school, so he never learned. Now, I'm sure there are a million programs online to help teach someone to type, but he doesn't care enough to do it ;)

Is typing class not a thing anymore? Like how schools don't teach cursive? (I tried writing in cursive recently and holy cow, it was so hard! I hadn't written in cursive since I was at least in high school, probably younger.) Anyway...

I thought I'd write a few "funny" things that happened this week. I put that in quotes because at the time, some of them weren't so funny for me! Unfortunately, I don't have pictures--if I'd have known I'd laugh about these later, I'd have taken pictures. Instead, here is an old photo of a not-so-funny moment that happened a year ago. I was brushing my teeth in the car (which sounds weird, I know; I must have been in a hurry). It sounded like a good idea until I realized I needed to spit out the toothpaste when I was done. There was no way I was going to swallow it.

I opened my window (making sure there wasn't a car behind me) and spit hard out the window. Then I got home and saw my car. BAHAHAHA. Needless to say, I never tried that again.

It was much harder to get off than you would think!

1) Yesterday morning, I woke up to the noise of the garbage truck on the street over from ours. Jerry usually puts the garbage out to the curb but he was at work. I'd completely forgotten that I had to do it. I was wearing a t-shirt and underwear (and of course, no bra) but I jumped out of bed and ran toward the side door.

For some reason on this particular week, our garbage bin was ridiculously heavy. It had also rained and there were little sticks here and there as I ran in my bare feet, pulling the heaviest garbage bin ever. As soon as I got to the curb, I could see that the neighbors' trash had already been collected, so I'd missed it! I had to drag the garbage back to the house. (I was curious if our security cameras caught it because I wanted to show Jerry, but for some reason, it wasn't picked up.)

2) When I came inside, I started the morning routine--let Joey outside to go to the bathroom, feed him breakfast, bring peanuts out to the squirrel lunch box, etc. I realized Noah had forgotten to pick up more peanuts from the animal feed store (we buy 50 pounds at a time--unroasted, unsalted, in-shell peanuts).

Well, when our house/cat sitter was here while we were up north, she'd run out of peanuts. I'd meant to buy more before we left and I totally forgot. Thankfully, I left her some extra money in case she needed it. Long story short, she'd asked her mom to buy peanuts (just a small bag to hold them over until we got home), and her mom bought peanuts that are meant for birds (basically they are unsalted, chopped nuts).

Our sitter then bought the regular kind, so the bag of chopped nuts was still in the pantry. (I'm getting to the point, I promise.) When I realized Noah had forgotten to buy peanuts, I figured I'd have to use the chopped ones until the feed store opened. The bag was probably about the size of a standard paper grocery bag (except it was plastic). I cut open the top and went outside to fill the lunch box.

I was struggling to hold the lid of the box open and pour the chopped nuts inside--they were barely sprinkling out--and then all of a sudden, 3/4 of the bag just whooshed right out, missing the inside of the box, and flying everywhere. I had been awake all of 10 minutes at that point and just threw my hands up in defeat.

3) A little while later, I was cleaning up the house and I went to go put a book on the top shelf in my closet. I'd recently hung up two of those tall cloth dividers (I think they're meant for shoes--there are six compartments, one on top of the other, and the whole thing just hangs up.) I was using them for my jeans (I have way too many jeans, and I'm sure the weight was far too much for the rack that I'd hung on the wall.) I'd screwed the rack into the stud on one side and I used anchors in the drywall on the other side.

I barely touched it while I jumped up to put the book on the top shelf next to it, and suddenly, the anchors tore right out of the drywall and the entire rack fell, even breaking the braces that had been attached to the stud. I was left with two large holes in the wall and a million pairs of jeans with nowhere to put them. I then spent a couple of hours reorganizing the clothing on my shelves to try to fit the jeans.

4) I'd been trying to come up with a solution to store all of my craft stuff--I definitely need a whole room for it, but since we don't have a spare room, I thought of other solutions. I decided to paint a large cabinet that I'd bought a long time ago on Facebook Marketplace (with the intention of refinishing it). I ended up using it for tools instead and it was in the garage.

It seemed perfect for my craft stuff and after figuring out where to put it in the house, I removed the tools and I got it set up to paint inside the garage. There is a LOT of hardware on it (10,000 tiny screws, 2 million hinges, drawer pulls, etc.). I used a little plastic box with dividers (kind of like a tackle box) to separate the parts as I took them off. I figured it would be much easier to put them back on later.

I spent several hours prepping the cabinet (removing hardware, washing the entire thing with TSP, priming, and even putting the first coat of paint on some of the pieces. I was exhausted and ready to go inside, so I put the paint away to use the next day.

As I was walking out of the garage, I totally caught the side of that little box of hardware with my foot and punted it across the room. The pieces went EVERYWHERE. So much for making it easy to put back together! (I haven't gotten to that point yet, so let's hope I have all the pieces.)

5) One of the blinds in our living room was driving me crazy because the little plastic stick that you twist to open and close the blinds broke off. It didn't just come unhooked; the piece holding it in actually broke. After a few days couple of months of standing on the couch to reach to the top and twist a little nub in order to close the blinds, I decided I would finally take the two minutes needed to just superglue the damn thing back together.

The superglue worked great--so great, in fact, that I realized I'd actually glued it in the wrong spot and it completely stopped turning altogether. Which meant the blinds were stuck in the open position. I couldn't believe I made such a stupid mistake!

Thankfully, I had two spare blinds in the garage from when Jerry and I remodeled the bedroom. We bought different blinds for the bedroom, but I kept the old ones for whatever reason. So, I grabbed one of those and replaced the entire thing--all because I superglued the plastic stick in the wrong spot.

And finally, for the sprinkles on the icing on the crappy cake of the week...

6) I opened something that I'd ordered on Amazon--I don't remember what it was--but the manual for it was inside of a plastic bag and held in place with lots of packing tape. To get the manual, I had to just pull the tape off of the bag. Well, the genius that packaged it also taped two of those little silica gel packets (you know, the ones that say "DO NOT EAT") in just the right spot--when I tried to gently pull off the tape, the packets tore open and the silica gel balls flew all over the living room.

This attracted the cats, so I was trying to yell at them to get away while I rushed to clean them up--I was worried to leave and grab the vacuum because then the cats would surely eat them (or Duck would, at least). When eaten, they can cause intestinal blockage--and we all know how expensive that surgery is, don't we, Duckling? ;)

So, it has been quite the "C'MON! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" kind of week. Several lessons were learned the hard way, hahaha. 


  1. Sometimes the old saying if you don't laugh, you'll cry is true! I'm sorry to hear it was a rough week! It's gotta turn around now, I'm manifesting positive vibes and sending them your way! But I have to tell you, the toothpaste story made me laugh out loud :)

  2. I'm sorry about how hard I'm laughing right now. Sending lots of love. This was indeed a terrible, no good, very bad week. Hugs too.

  3. Wow, I just couldn't imagine dealing with all those terrible things! Thank god you had all day to clean up and fix stuff!


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