A Break From Social Media

First, I am sorry for not saying that I was going to take a break--I had no idea I was going to do that, actually. I realized on Tuesday that I was burnt out--I really needed a break from my computer, from social media, from all of the negativity online. I'd read a few not-so-nice comments, and after a super rough year, I closed my computer and chose not to write that day. (Which turned into a week.) It makes me sad that people are so mean to each other on social media.

Jerry's and my 20-year wedding anniversary was on Wednesday, and while we didn't have plans, I didn't want to even look at my computer. I wanted to have a great day with him. He actually had an entire week off after getting home from Texas, so it was a good time for me to take a break. 

Maybe I've just gotten more sensitive over the years, but if there is one thing that I have learned, it's that a lot people definitely don't follow the "Golden Rule": Treat others as you would like to be treated. On social media, I think of it as: If you don't have something nice to say, just move on. It's so simple!

Ain't that the truth.

I will never understand people that choose to spend their time arguing in comment threads, writing nasty comments, hate-following, etc. Over the years, I have used social media less and less. I turned off ALL Facebook notifications several years ago, and it was the best social media decision I've ever made. I only look at Facebook about once every couple of weeks, mainly to reply to any messages I may have.

I like Instagram, but mostly for looking at memes. I don't use Twitter, Snapchat, TikTok, YouTube (unless I'm looking up instructions for something), or any other form of social media. I use Pinterest, but not for the social aspect of it--I just use it when looking for ideas (usually recipes and crafts).

The worst is on Facebook, where a lot of people look for things to be offended by or to argue about. Even something like a news article from my local newspaper about opening a new restaurant nearby causes a big argument in the comments. I just don't get it! If I'm going to spend time on my computer or my phone, I want to spend it looking at or reading things I enjoy.

On Jerry's and my anniversary, we pulled out our "memory box" and sifted through 24 years of memories  (we started dating in 1999, married in 2003). We have a few newspapers in there; our wedding was the weekend of the big blackout that spanned across several states, which was obviously huge news. We also have newspapers from the kids' birth announcements, and from a few times when someone from our family was in the paper.

And you know what's kind of funny? When we came across a newspaper that had a photo of my kids and Joey (they'd asked for readers to submit local photos), I found myself reaching my hand over to enlarge the photo with my fingers! Hahaha, I was so used to looking at photos on my phone, it was a habit. It hit me then--reading an actual newspaper means you can avoid comments altogether. I told Jerry: "Look how awesome this is! There aren't any comments to make people feel bad. I miss the days when people just read the newspaper; maybe they felt the same hate back then, but they couldn't share it with thousands of other people."

(At that moment, I remembered the newspaper had also posted those reader-photos on Instagram--and someone commented on this picture that it was cruel to let Joey play with the kids when the water was obviously so cold. BAHAHA! Yes, I forced him to play with the kids out there and pose for a photo.)

Anyway, Jerry and I had a lot of fun going through all of the stuff we had in our memory box: movie ticket stubs (from as far back as 1999!), cards and notes we've given each other, advice cards from our wedding guests (instead of a guestbook, I set up a table with note cards on them and asked guests to give us their best marriage advice). Sorting through those was bittersweet; there are several people that have passed away since then, and reading their advice, written in their own handwriting was kind of hard. But nice.

After that, I just decided to take time away from social media (including my blog) for the week with Jerry. We didn't have special plans, but it was a relaxing, stress-free week. And it was exactly what I needed! I was able to eat regularly--breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack. Sitting at the table. Enjoying my food. Cooking new recipes. I even went for a run! (Not a long one, but a run nonetheless.)

I realize it may seem confusing that I am relating those things to social media. They aren't, but the negativity affects my mood, and my mood affects my actions.

Early on in the week, I made an impulse decision to disassemble my denim quilt--the one that I made with my jeans as they got too big when I was losing weight. (Nothing to do with social media--just something I thought would be fun.) I am going to put it back together, but in a different way. I had no idea just how long it would take to disassemble the quilt! There are 289 squares, if I remember correctly. I'm waiting on a 4-inch square template to use my rotary cutter to trim all of the squares the same size. (When I made the quilt in 2010, I used scissors--how I didn't get carpal tunnel back then is beyond me!)

Other news: I am about to pay the final payment on the Jeep--two years early. When we bought it, I set up the payments to be automatic, with extra money added to the payments, to get it paid off as quickly as possible. Now, we're able to roll those payments seamlessly toward the house payments. And barring any sort of unexpected expenses (ha!), we should have the house paid off in October of next year.

We also canceled our Amazon Prime membership! We had Prime since the very early days (I think 2006 ish). Recently, I had a big issue when trying to return something to a third party seller (the dimensions on the listing were incorrect, so it was too big; and it arrived damaged), and Amazon refused to honor their A-to-Z guarantee. I was charged $44(!) for return shipping, after I'd already sent it back. So, I canceled our Prime membership.

It turned out to be a GREAT decision. We used to spend way too much money on Amazon because it was so easy to just make a few taps on our phones and 30 seconds later, it was on the way. Now we can't order something so quickly and easily. We have to have a minimum order of $25 to get free shipping, so if there is something we need, I just add it to the cart and wait until we have a minimum order that is over $25. The balance on our Amazon credit card? NEGATIVE $75! After I'd paid the balance, a refund went through and now we have a negative balance.

The shipping without Prime also takes a LOT longer, so impulse buying things that we want *right now* has lost is allure. I've been waiting nearly a week for the template that I ordered for my quilt. I actually should have just gone to Hobby Lobby or JoAnn's to buy one, but I thought that maybe the shipping estimate was longer than reality (I was wrong).

I had planned to write a post yesterday, but I completely forgot that Jerry and Eli had a softball game (I like to go to the games) so I decided to wait until today--giving me a full week off. And it was exactly what I needed! I feel happier, I've gotten back into a good routine, and I am working on creating better habits.

A very well-known blogger that I used to follow just stopped writing one day nearly two years ago. There was no post saying that she was quitting blogging, and she hasn't updated any social media (that I know of). I think of her often, and I really hope that she and her family are okay. Of course, she doesn't owe anyone an explanation, regardless of her reasons for quitting blogging, but it's hard not knowing whether she's okay (I'm sure it is for her other readers, too).

So, unless something tragic happens, I'm going to be sure to write a final post before quitting. I will definitely take some more breaks when I feel like I need them (hopefully with a notice), but right now I am happy to be back and in a better headspace :)