September 14, 2022

Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 68 (and an announcement)


I hadn't take a picture yet today, and Jerry and I were working on the bathroom, so he took this one for my post. Today is his birthday, by the way! He's 42. 

I don't even know where to start with this post! I've been going back and forth in my head about it for a few weeks now, and today I decided it's time. (I'm truly not trying to make this sound like a drumroll or something...)

As I've mentioned way too often, I've been super overwhelmed lately. It's one thing after another after another that has been going wrong and/or stressing me out. I finally feel like I've reached a breaking point. I keep thinking that I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up a year later.

I love writing lists (I seriously have notebooks full of lists of all sorts) and today I wrote out a full "to-do" list of the things that I have to get done in a relatively timely manner. It took up two full sheets of notebook paper! I feel like I'm drowning and I'm never going to catch up on everything. I've felt so intensely overwhelmed that it's affecting my health. 

I like to use the word overwhelmed instead of "stressed" because it feels more applicable in this situation. I haven't been able to sleep (nothing new there, but it's gotten worse), I've been crying daily--and for once, it's not from being sad or depressed--just exhausted, I've been snapping at my family for no reason, and I've even lost my appetite.

I have never, in my life, felt worried about losing too much weight. I've certainly never tried to gain weight. This week, I added some high-calorie foods to my diet--like adding a big scoop of peanut butter to my oatmeal, or marinating tofu with oil, adding tortilla chips to black bean soup, etc.

But I'm still losing weight. Today? I was actually in the 120s:


I never ever thought I'd see the 120s again! My lowest weight was 121, but that's when I was training so hard for my goal 10K race. I wish I could be excited about it hitting the 120s (and I guess I am in a way), but I know that it's because of feeling so overwhelmed that I'm not eating enough. Last week, I was at 132.4, so I lost over three pounds this week. At the weight I am now, three pounds is a LOT to lose in a week; I've lost about 10 pounds in a month. If I wasn't feeling so overwhelmed, I'd be pretty thrilled!

However, my clothes are all too big and I don't want to buy smaller ones because I feel like I'll gain some weight when my to-do list gets smaller. But who knows? Maybe it's just the vegan diet that is making me continue to lose weight.

Anyway, as for my announcement: I've made a decision today that makes me feel a little nervous about, but like I said, I've been debating it for a few weeks now: I'm going to take a full week off of blogging. I need to eliminate as many things on my list as I can, and since my blog isn't completely necessary, I feel like it's a good start.

Since I've been on a blogging streak for nearly three years now of blogging every day, I really don't want to break that streak. So, I decided to just post a photo a day--no words, just a picture. I'll call the posts "Wordless Week: Day 1", etc., so you can skip over them if you're not interested.

Even though it may seem like a blog post doesn't take much time, I overthink everything and make it take much longer than it probably should. I'd like to use every moment I have to work on knocking things off of my to-do list (including catching up on my email, so if you've written me in the past six months or so, I probably still haven't responded--and I'm SO sorry).

At my therapy session yesterday, we talked about how I don't like to ask for help--ever. I always feel bad asking people for help with things and that's part of the reason I feel overwhelmed. It's something I need to work on.

I hate to start my week off from blogging with a post like this, but my Wednesday Weigh-In posts are my most popular ones, so I figured I could reach the most people. I'll be back to normal (well, my posts will anyways!) next Wednesday.

Until then, I'll share a picture each day that will hopefully be somewhat interesting (perhaps something on my list that I've been working on). 

Thanks for understanding, Friends! xoxo

17 comments:

  1. Take care of you and we will be here reading when you are back. :)

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  2. I don't like asking for help either, even from my husband, so I know exactly how you feel. It feels so silly once I break down and ask for help and then feel so relieved when I get it. I think a week break will be good, and we'll be happy to read you when you've created a little breathing room. :)

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  3. Of course you should take a week off! We'll be right here when you're "back" 🙂. Remember, many people want to help so you're not imposing, you're helping them feel good and useful. Others want to feel needed. Asking for assistance is a sign of strength not weakness. ❤️

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  4. I love your blog! At first I thought you were leaving for good😣 a week off is Awsome,! Take time to look after yourself, as someone who has a sister with bipolar disorder I am so impressed with how you live your life, you are such a sweet and thoughtful person who always looks out for her family, you are wise to take as much time as you need for your health. Take care and enjoy some breathing space xoxo

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  5. Of course we understand! Take the time for you and do what you need to do!! I'll be looking forward to your daily picture and hearing what you have to say when your break is over! Good luck on all your projects!! <3 Sending you love!

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  6. Take care - I hope the week "off" leaves you feeling better balanced.

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  7. You do what you need to do! I will still be here! Stay healthy (in all apsects!) and best wishes for the week you want. Thanks for thinking of your readers to even put up wordless posts!

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  8. I could have written this post about being overwhelmed sometimes, never asking for help and I too am a list person. Have you asked yourself, what truly NEEDS to be done and what do I feel I WANT done? There is a huge difference. Our type of personalities expect a lot from ourselves and this is how we break down. I have so many lists I get overwhelmed and end up breaking down or doing nothing. I now have an extensive list but I only allow myself to do a certain amount of tasks each day. For example, my list may be 50 things, but today, I'm doing 5. Breaking it down to very small baby steps has helped me sooooo much mentally. Good luck. I feel you. Take care of you!!

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  9. Take all the time you need!! We'll be here when you come back :)

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  10. HURRAH! Once again your set a great example. We'll love your posts.

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  11. Yes! Take some time, girl!!! We'll all be here still rooting you on when you feel ready to bust out some more posts!!! :) We all love you and your fam, so go be in the moment with them. :)

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  12. We understand, and please tell Jerry Happy Birthday! When I see his pictures, I can never tell if it's him or one of his and your sons.

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  13. Enjoy your low blogging week. It is a huge commitment to post everyday and everyone needs a break some time. Take care of yourself xx

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  14. Take all the time you need . I struggle with asking for help too.

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  15. You do whatever it is that you need to do. After all, we're just the spectators of your life :) and while we enjoy reading and learning new things, it is pressure that you don't need. Perhaps the every day post is too much and you should scale back to tell yourself you only have to post x amount of days per week or month. You will still meet a "goal" but it won't be so critical that you can't take a day off. Can't wait to see your bathroom and hear back how the break did for your everything (emotions, todo list, stress, sleep, etc.). <3

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  16. I know money is always an issue - however - I recently discovered THUMBTACK app and had someone come take a pile of stuff from my yard, another trim back brush and remove and another stain my shed - all for under $300... From a mental standpoint - it was life changing... and I am not kidding!!

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  17. Good for you for making the decision to step back. I totally get it - I have a thousand different things I need to do at once, but I've been struggling with being tired all the time (it's likely narcolepsy) and I've had to learn that I just have to step back on some things. It sucks, but I always feel better when I do. I hope the same is true for you!

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