Wednesday Weigh-in: Starting Anew

This week has felt so messed up. My kids didn't have school on Monday for Presidents' Day, so that made yesterday feel like Monday. I was so sure it was Monday all day long! But today feels like it should be Friday ;)

Eli had an appointment at Children's Hospital in Detroit yesterday, so he got to play hooky from school. I was concerned about his legs, because he has joint pain, so I took him to a pediatric orthopedist. The doctor said he has tight hamstrings and cords, and pronated feet, so he's going to do physical therapy and get orthotics. Thankfully, it wasn't anything serious. 
I'm still battling with insurance to get started on another antidepressant. I'm amazed at how much of a process this is. The main problem is that I'm not under the care of a psychiatrist right now--my general practitioner has always prescribed my medication. So, my insurance company apparently wants me to see a psychiatrist, which is fine--I'd like to see one! The problem is, after calling literally a DOZEN psychiatrists, I still can't get an appointment. 

They either want me to quit my current therapist and establish a therapist under their practice before deciding if I even need to see a psychiatrist; or they are not taking new patients; or, there is a nine-month waiting list. I know I need to be on an antidepressant, and I really like my current therapist. Why would I quit after having built a relationship with her? I'm supposed to hear from my doctor today about what to do next.

Anyway. Jerry was off work on Monday, and since the kids were off school, we decided to do something together. We had planned to go to Canada for the day, but the weather wasn't great, and I was hoping to do the riverwalk. So, we decided to put off that day trip for another time when we have better weather, and we took the kids to Barnes & Noble. Doesn't sound very exciting, but considering there aren't many real book stores around anymore, we don't go often. When Jerry and I were dating, wandering around the book store was one of our favorite things to do.

We spent about an hour in there, and I never even made it out of the bargain books section (clearance books)! Haha, I could browse all day. When we got home, I realized how funny Jerry's and my book picks were...

I don't think I have to explain that Jerry's are on top ;)

I'm excited to read The Happiness Project! I started it once before, but in my usual fashion, abandoned it after a chapter or two. My attention span is terrible when it comes to books! That's why I made it a goal to read one book a month. I really need to get moving on February, because I just haven't felt like reading.

So, today was my Wednesday Weigh-in. I hoped for any number other than 158.0, because that's what I've been seeing for over a month now. And the result?


Seriously! I started thinking hard about what is so different about what I'm doing now versus what I was doing a year ago. My diet is actually a lot healthier now than it was then. I did notice one big difference, though--I'm eating much fewer carbs now than before. It's not intentional (I love carbs!); but, I haven't been wanting anything sweet in the mornings, and it's hard to find a non-sweet breakfast with carbs. And then I've been doing my salad challenge for lunch (eat a salad every day for February), and the salads aren't exactly loaded with carbs, either.

So, my carb intake is a lot lower than before; and from experience, I've learned that my body functions best with a high amount of carbs. This could contribute to why I haven't had any energy recently, too. So, I'm going to start making sure that I increase my carbs this week, particularly for breakfast and lunch. I'm curious to see if that will make the scale move. I would be thrilled to see anything under 158 next week.

From Fat to Finish Line recently started a series called "Start Anew Sundays" for people just like me--who have lost weight, gained some back, and are getting back on track. I don't want to put pressure on myself to get it off in a certain amount of time, but I am motivated right now to work on it. My food tastes have changed so much recently--I can't even stomach the thought of eating the same things I ate last year when I got back down to goal. So, I'm just going to do some experimenting and see if I can find what works. Basically, I'm going to follow my own advice ;)

It's been helpful to see others who have gone through or are going through the same thing with their weight. Angela, the producer of the documentary, shared her story the other day, and it was such a great post! You can find it here: Saying Goodbye to Idealistic Expectations. It's a very nice read!

39 comments:

  1. Whole grain toast, oatmeal (not covered in ice cream toppings), a quality non-sugar coated breakfast cereal, so many non-sweet carby options.

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    1. You're right--I'll save the ice cream toppings for my ice cream! ;) (Interestingly, though, oatmeal and even plain bran cereal still taste sweet to me. I do like sourdough toast with coconut oil, so I eat that pretty often.)

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  2. I followed the link to Angela's blog post and holy cow. My jaw actually dropped, I could relate to what she was saying SO much. And after re-reading the article probably a good 5 times or so, I'm starting to look at my own life. Yes, 130-pound Amanda was hot and she loved fitting in to tight little dresses and having guys hit on her at the bar. But that was 6 years and 40 pounds ago. Now, 170-pound Amanda is 27, married and constantly stressing over all the weight she gained after getting married. But why am I doing that to myself?? I workout every day, eat a mostly balanced diet and my husband LOVES my body the way it is. He tells me so all the time but I'm so negative I barely ever listen or believe him.

    I am so, so glad I found your blog about 4 years ago now Katie. Not only do you post eye-opening posts yourself but you link such great articles such as Angela's and it's honestly like I just had an epiphany. I don't want to be 130 pounds anymore. I was too thin and hungry all the damn time. Plus, why do I need to fit into tight little dresses anymore anyways? I'm not 21 anymore! Also, since my cardio bunny days of 130 pounds, I've taken up strength training so I know some of this 170 pounds is muscle too.

    I'm making a vow as of this moment to start treating myself better. Sure, I would still love to lose 10-15 pounds but if it doesn't happen, then that's fine too. And I need to start listening to my husband more! :)

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    1. This makes me SO happy :) I love the way you described your epiphany. Angela's post was very eye-opening to me, too. Good stuff! Thank you so much for your kind comment :)

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  3. Give a non-traditional breakfast a shot. Have a turkey sandwich in the morning. Or leftovers from dinner the night before. Just because you're eating in the morning doesn't mean it has to be "morning food". The possibilities are endless!

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    1. I totally agree! I frequently have a baked potato for breakfast at work (sometimes regular / sometimes sweet potato). I always get the side eye at work but hey - is it really that different than hashbrowns? I put a little hummus on it too. Yes, I'm weird but it's so good and fills me up until lunch!

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    2. It's funny you said that Elena, because I recently had a baked potato for breakfast as well! It's healthy and I really don't think it's that odd ;) I love that I can make a bunch in the Instant Pot and warm them up as needed.

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  4. My husband and I used to make a "date" out of walking around the Borders in Dearborn! What a great time that was. I'd get a coffee and a biscotti and just sit in one of those big comfy chairs and relax with whatever book I picked up. Gosh, I miss those days. I miss reading books, too! ;)

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    1. Jerry and I used to go to dinner at Red Lobster in Southgate, and then walk around Walden's until it was time to head to our movie at MJR 20 :)

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  5. I also tend to do better with more carbs! I noticed that when the scale freezes or even goes up, it's because my carbs are low. That Happiness Project book looks so good!

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    1. I used to think I was imagining it, but each time I've unintentionally cut back on carbs, I feel like crap and my weight doesn't budge. Right now, I feel like there are multiple things going on, but hopefully increasing the carbs will help!

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  6. I feel I am on an eating party...I want it so I have been having it...never tried that tactic before and especially not when I haven't been exercising but I am so sick of always saying "No, I can't" etc...

    I know my weight is higher again and pants are still tight but I can't seem to get my mojo back.

    And now my daughter just told me it is National Margarita Day??? Hmm, well that sounds tasty too...ha!

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    1. I've been the same way for months now! And I don't even think it's a "bad" thing to eat what we want. My problem is stopping when I've had enough and eating for emotional reasons (even happy emotions! Like National Margarita Day... haha!)

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  7. I'm just getting over this hump where I went too low carb and my body was not okay. Have you ever tried plantains? I like plantain chips dipped in guacamole. I'm also a fan of making parsnip fries. And I'm adding bread and pasta back into my diet. Tons of non-sweet carb options! And my body is feeling SO much better these days.

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    1. I've never tried plantains, but I've always wanted to! Do you make the chips yourself?

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  8. I'm just throwing this out there...Isn't it interesting that it is so difficult to get the antidepressants? Like a force is keeping you from taking them? It's curious. After struggling with major depression off and on for decades - and forever dabbling with anti-depressants - I went off of everything five years ago and have never felt better. I understand that everyone is different and I respect whatever decision people make about their personal health. Best of luck to you.

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    1. I've been off of them for three weeks now, and the intent was to see what I was like without them for a little while. So far, nothing has changed (leading me to believe the one I was on for so long had stopped working). I do believe in "signs" or "a force" as you described, so maybe this is it! I said it out loud several weeks ago to my husband and a couple of friends, who thought it was crazy ;) But, I've jumped through so many hoops lately, and it's still not helping... so maybe it IS a sign that I could do without them. I'm glad you were able to discover that you feel much better without the meds! That would be awesome. How long were you off of them before you noticed that you felt good without them?

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  9. I remember the struggles with getting in to see a psychiatrist, my family doctor was honest with me and told me to just wait out the 8-12 month wait list, that will go quicker than I think and I'll be better for it. My doctor ended up being right, out of the blue (ended up being within 6 months) I was called for an intro appointment. But then thank goodness, I didn't need the insurance company's permission to start a new antidepressant, that's a bit crazy. I'm sorry you have to go through that, it's hard enough admitting you need help and then to go through that? Geeze.

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    1. You are so right! When they first told me nine months, that was probably two months ago. I wish I'd just put my name on the list then! The time will go by either way, and I can always cancel the appointment if needed. I've never had to jump through this many hoops to get help. I can't believe the insurance companies can give people the runaround like that--especially people who aren't in a great frame of mind to start with. Mental healthcare is sorely overlooked (at least from my experience).

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    2. I feel terrible reading about these Psychiatry wait list. I'm a nurse at a Medical Clinic in the Twin Cities area, we have a phenomenal psychiatrist that works super hard-her new patient wait list is about 2-3 weeks.

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  10. I'm sure you'll find what works for you through experimentation but when I'm in the mood for non sweet breakfasts I find scrambled eggs or omlettes on toast, mashed avocado on toast or even savoury french toast really good (and carby) options.

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    1. I never would have thought of a savory French toast, but that sounds delicious! I am going to try that. Thanks for the suggestion!

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    2. This may sound odd but I LOVE peanut butter on my French toast lol I too don't really like sweeter breakfasts and adding peanut butter makes everything better!! lol

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  11. I loved Angela's post. I had actually read it off fb. I even shared it with several friends. I loved how she said the 140lbs Angela was a fickle bi$&h and never stuck around for long. It was very enlightening and thought provoking. I have been thinking about why I think my goal weight should be what I was 20 years ago before marriage and 4 kids. I eat better, exercise and am overall in better health than I was then. I have been thinking about this for sometime. Thanks for sharing. I have also heard the ladies that wrote THM say stop trying to pursue your princess weight...what is your queen weight �� I know this doesn't apple to everyone and we should always pursue health but with realistic expectations. Stacia

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    1. YES! I told her that her 140-Angela is like my 120-Katie. A fickle bitch who doesn't stick around long ;) It was fun to be skinny and wear tiny jeans for a while, but I'd be happy at 140-Katie (once I get back there! haha). I like the princess weight vs. queen weight idea. Thanks!

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  12. I have been at 161 forever now so I am right there with you! Been back on track all week.. feels good actually too! :)

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    1. It's always so good to hear from you! My original weight loss inspiration :)

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  13. For a non sweet carby breakfast, you could try savory oatmeal. I've seen versions on Pinterest with eggs and hot sauce. Or you could do PB in oatmeal without sweetener.

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    1. I have such a hard time imagining eating oatmeal with eggs--but I'm open to anything, so I may just give it a try! ;)

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  14. After reading the hoops your insurance company wants you to go through to switch meds I am rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

    Have you considered paying for the med out of pocket? Text the word save to Goodrx at 466379 and you'll get a coupon...not joking.I had to do this once while changing insurance providers and it was a lifesaver. You may already know about Goodrx but I definitely wanted to share just in case. Good luck!

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    1. It's ridiculous, right?! I have never heard of Goodrx. Thanks for the tip!

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  15. Bagel with Cream Cheese??? The internet is a wealth of information.

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    1. That's so obvious, but a bagel with cream cheese never occurred to me! Also, I know I could use Google, but I enjoy reading what my readers have to say. It starts conversations, which has formed many friendships for me! :)

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  16. I 💚 You Katie! And im thankful for you, it's crazy weird how similar my life is to yours often at the same time

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  17. Hi Katie,
    Love reading your blog! I'm so glad you decided to continue writing! Where can I find the Fat to Finish new series? Is that on FB or their website (do they have a website)? Thanks! Melissa

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    1. Yes! You can check us out www.fattofinish.com. Most of the action happens on Facebook, though. If you search it, there is a private group you can join. I think about 13,000 members now! :)

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  18. I don't know if you listen to many podcasts - but Gretchen Rubin also has a podcast called 'Happier" that I love. It is all about understanding yourself better, how to build better habits, etc. It always gives good ideas and a little boost!

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I'd love to hear from you! I read all of my comments, and if you have a question, I do my best to respond; sometimes, however, I get busy and forget to go back to reply, so if it's important, just email me! :)

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