I've been doing really well with my eating habits the last few days, which is good. Early this week, when my depression was the worst it's been in a long time, I did something I hadn't done in almost a full YEAR--I binged.
The odd thing is, I didn't even beat myself up for it. I was so close to surpassing my binge-free streak from 2009-2010 (365 days); but last weekend, I felt really overwhelmed and unhappy. And, in the moment, eating took my mind off of it. I felt better for a couple of hours.
Now, of course, I completely regret doing it; but still, I'm not dwelling on it. It happened, it's over, and now I'll just start a new binge-free streak. Binge eating is something I've always dealt with, and I'll probably always have to deal with. I feel very accomplished for the long binge-free streak I had, so I don't feel like I "failed".
In the past, if I would binge after not doing it for a while, I would then have a "screw it" attitude and continue bingeing for several days or even weeks. This time was different, though. I immediately got back on track. I even took the kids out for ice cream on Noah's birthday with my parents, Brian, and Becky, and I didn't order anything. It would have been so easy to just say, "one more day" and order a large flurry; but I knew I could live without ice cream just that once ;)
Anyway, I really don't want to make a big thing out of the binge. It happened, it's done, and I've been eating really well the last few days. The most helpful key to being on track has been planning out what I'm going to make for dinner, instead of waiting until the last minute when everyone is starving. Also, I've been back in a good daily routine, which is always helpful.
My running has been going well, too. After running with Stephanie last weekend, and seeing that my foot pod wasn't correctly calibrated, I felt like my sub-8:00 mile at the rec center last Friday didn't really "count". I was curious if I could still actually run a sub-8:00 mile--outdoors, using GPS.
Yesterday, even though it was 75 degrees with 83% humidity, I headed out to try for a sub-8:00 mile. It's interesting how much has changed in just three months! In April, I ran a 10K at a 7:55 pace; and now, I wasn't even sure if I could manage one mile at that pace. But considering I scaled back my training a LOT, it was to be expected.
Anyway, it was tough, but the mile actually went by pretty quickly. I started off too fast, and I almost threw in the towel after just a couple of minutes; but I forced myself to slow down and stick it out. I really needed to do well on it, if only to feel better mentally.
As soon as I reached one mile (7:51), I slowed to a walk for about a minute to catch my breath. That mile was hard! But I was really happy that I managed to do it. It was so humid that I was dripping with sweat after only a mile. I ran the second and third mile pretty slowly, but my heart rate was still high (either from the humidity or the fast first mile I did). When I hit mile three, I was about 4/10 of a mile from home, so I decided to run hard for that last portion. I managed a 7:30 pace for that last (almost) half-mile! It was a great run, and I felt amazing when I was done.
I've been thinking lately about possibly training for a half marathon in November. It's been a year and a half since I ran my last half-marathon (the Santa Hustle in 2014, when I got injured). I've LOVED training for shorter distances, and it's so nice to be injury-free. But, I really do miss working on goals. I'm curious what my new therapist will say about it (my previous therapist thought it would be good for me to not set any running goals this summer). I liked the idea of learning to maintain my weight without having goals, but clearly it's not working out for me! ;)
I'm not sure yet if I want to train for a half-marathon, but it's crossed my mind. If I don't do that, I'll probably train hard for a 5K (PR) this fall. I'm still about 16 weeks away from the Monroe Half (my hometown half-marathon), so I have about a month to decide what I want to do before I'll need to start training. Right now, I just want to get my head in a good place and continue working on my binge-free streak!