I'd been feeling really stressed out this week, because I was trying to find a home for Mark. As I mentioned, he's getting discharged on the 18th. We were excited for him that he gets to leave the nursing home, but we had no idea where he was going to go. It was very unlikely that he'd be able to go back to his group foster care home (where he lived for most of his life) because he needs a little extra assistance.
I told him that I would try to find a him as close to my house as possible, so that I'd be able to go visit several times a week, and pick him him to take him out places. All of the homes I called were for senior citizens, and Mark is only 58, so they couldn't take him. Yesterday, I was really starting to panic, because he's being discharged on Tuesday!
My mom told me that she and my dad were talking about it, and decided to sit down and pray about it. Literally, while they were praying, the phone rang--it was the woman who owns the group home that Mark had been living in, and she said that they decided Mark could go back there! This was FANTASTIC news, because Mark really loves that home.
They said they'll need us to help out, and we agreed. I'll go there a few times a week to help him get some exercise, and my dad can stop there on his way home from his summer job at the Metropark. Once Mark starts to deteriorate from the cancer, however, he won't be able to stay there. My parents are hoping that we'll be able to bring Mark to their house when it comes time for hospice care. Mark had some new tests done early this week, and he has an appointment on Wednesday to go over the tests. I am really hoping for a miracle--that the cancer will have gone into remission! But that's a long shot. More likely, Mark will have another year or two.
Anyway, I was excited to tell Mark the good news, so planned to go see him this morning. After getting the kids off to school, I hopped on the treadmill for my scheduled four miles. I wore my new running shoes, Brooks Adrenaline 14's. When I first started running in 2010, I wore the Adrenaline 10's. I tried other shoes, but the Adrenalines have always been my go-to shoe. I've worn them ever since--the 10's, the 11's, the 12's, and the 13's. My most recent pair has about 350 miles on them, so it was time for a new pair.
I went to the running store a couple of days ago and bought the 14's. I liked the new color!
Yesterday, I wore them for my five-mile run at half-marathon pace (8:34/mi). They were killing my feet! I only ended up doing four miles at race pace before I finally just called it quits. I hoped that maybe I was just having a bad day yesterday, so I tried them one more time today. About a mile in, I just couldn't take it--the arches of my feet were killing me. I stopped the treadmill, and put on my old pair. My feet felt much better once I switched out the shoes, so I knew it was the 14's that were the problem.
That was scary! The Adrenalines have always been my sure-thing shoe. No matter what, I knew they would fit well, I knew they were comfortable, and that I could run long in them. I've never found another shoe like that. I decided to return them today, and hopefully find a different shoe that would work.
The weird thing is, when I was running with the new shoes on the treadmill, my Garmin foot pod was suddenly showing the wrong pace. My foot pod always shows the same pace as the treadmill, but with the new shoes, it was reading about 20-30 seconds slower per mile. When I put the pod back on my old shoes, the pace was almost back to normal (about 5 seconds slower per mile). So strange!
I stopped at the running store on the way to the nursing home, and returned the shoes. The man who works there brought out a bunch more that were similar to the Adrenalines for me to try. I wasn't crazy about any of them. I need a very wide toe box, and there aren't a lot of running shoes that come in a wide width. In the end, I settled on the Brooks Ghost 6's. They were really light and comfortable, but the store didn't have them in a wide width; so I had to order them in a wide. I really hope that they work out!! As a bonus, they're a little cheaper than the Adrenalines :)
I stopped at Starbucks to get Mark a vanilla latte. Once in a while, when I get Mark coffee, I'll get a decaf for myself. But today, I decided to try something a little fancier--I got a Skinny Peppermint Mocha, and it was so good! It was only 3 PointsPlus, which was definitely worth it.
When I got to the nursing home, I went to Mark's room, but he wasn't there, and all of the cards were gone from the walls. I asked if they moved him, and they had. I found his new room, which was definitely more crowded (three beds instead of two), but it was nice because he was next to a window. He said they moved him because his old room was for "sick people", and he's going home in a few days ;)
I read him some of his cards, and he got a package with a handmade scarf in it--he loved the scarf!
I always tell Mark to smile when I take a picture, and when he smiles, he automatically closes his eyes. So I say, "Open your eyes" and then his smile goes away. It's tough for him to do both at the same time! ;)
I told him the good news about going back to his group home, and he was thrilled. He said he was hoping that I'd be able to find a place close to us. Now he'll be just 20 minutes away, instead of 40, and I'll be able to go visit more. The whole time that I was visiting today, he just kept talking about how he only has four more days until he goes home. He can't wait to sleep in his own bed and do his chores.
In other news, I've been doing TERRIBLE at getting back into Weight Watchers. I've been trying to count points, and I do well for a day or two, and then eat like I haven't eaten in days. My weight was 139 at the beginning of February, and I was at 146 for my last WW meeting! I hate writing this, and I've been avoiding writing about it at all, but if I keep procrastinating, I'm afraid it will just turn into 150, or 160, or more. I really need to get back to doing Wednesday Weigh-ins for some accountability.
The only thing I can think of that would be causing me to have such a hard time right now is that I've been under a ton of stress lately. Jerry's been working just about every day; my friend Sarah passed away and I think about her several times a day (today would have been her 32nd birthday); the winter is never-ending; I was worried about finding a home for Mark; and my weight being up so much is stressful in itself. I'm not trying to make excuses--none of those things forced me to eat too much! But my life is a definitely more stressful than it usually is, and I wonder if that is making me want to eat more.
Regardless, I want to get it under control, and I hope that by writing about it, I can gain control again. I'd love to be back at goal by the time I go to Boston for the Heartbreak Hill Half & Festival. My brother, Brian, is getting married in September, and his fiancé has asked me to be a bridesmaid. She just ordered our dresses, so I don't want the stress of worrying about whether it will still fit in the fall!
So, my plan is to count my points, continue making sure to get in my five servings of fruits and veggies (I've been doing well so far all month!), and post a weigh-in on Wednesdays, no matter what the scale says. Spring officially starts on Thursday, and I want to go into the new season feeling healthy!