May 30, 2011

Memorial Day Run Happy 8k--2011

While I was in Indy earlier this month running my first half-marathon, my friend Jessica suggested that we run an 8k race on Memorial Day. When I got home, I registered for it. Since running the half, the furthest I've run has been 3 miles. Today's run was 4.97 miles (8 kilometers). I was nervous, because I didn't really feel "ready" for it. Which sounds dumb, because I JUST ran a half marathon 3 weeks ago, but I haven't done much as far as training since then.

Last night, I was really regretting signing up for this race, but I already paid for it and I already got my race shirt--which I wouldn't feel entitled to wear if I didn't actually run the race!

May 28, 2011

Cheesecake? Really?

I feel like the only person in the world who doesn't like Greek yogurt. I don't like ANY yogurt really--even the super sugary stuff. Wait, I take that back. I do love frozen yogurt! But that doesn't count as "real" yogurt. So anyway, Greek yogurt... everyone talks about it like it's so special, but it's really just yogurt that is drained of liquid to make it thick. And the only reason the protein is higher is because it's concentrated. When I tell people I don't like yogurt, they almost always ask, "But have you tried GREEK yogurt?!"  Yes. Yes, I have. Many different times, many different brands. And I don't like it.

May 26, 2011

A Summer Challenge

I need to set some goals. When I was consistently losing weight each week for over a year, I was working toward specific goals--improve my 5k time, have a no-sugar-added day each week, fit into size ___ jeans, etc. I think that's one of the things that really kept me motivated. When I met all my goals, I guess I just lost my focus. And now that I ran my first half marathon, I don't really have any goals left. So, I've decided to remedy that by challenging myself this summer to specific goals.

May 25, 2011

I bought PB2... Now what?!

On my last entry, Anne (not sure who you are, but thanks for reading!) left me a note suggesting that I write about my uses for PB2. I have no idea why I didn't think to do this before, because it is definitely a frequently asked question!

Ever since I discovered PB2 (I believe in 2007), I've been hooked on it. I talk about it all the time and use it frequently. Let me also say that I am in no way affiliated with Bell Plantation, nor did they even send me any for free to review or pay me in any way. I just ordered some after reading about it on a message board, loved it, and now I always rave about it.  I order it from Bell Plantation directly, but I've heard of some people finding it in stores. I've never seen it in a store before though.

Yes, I really do order this much at once!
However, when it finally arrives on your doorstep, it can be intimidating. What the hell do you do with it?! Here are some of my favorite uses.

May 24, 2011

Cookie Dough Hummus

Today is my second day back to counting calories. I made a deal with my husband... I said that if I "cheat" at all in the next 4 days (Mon-Thur), then he could withdraw $500 from our savings account to spend however he wants. Now, being a very thrifty person, I could NEVER let that happen! ;)  It has actually stopped me from bingeing today.
I made this awesome recipe on Sunday, and again today. I'm SHOCKED at how good it is!!  It's hummus that really does taste (and look) like cookie dough. I ate it with pretzels, which was awesome, and then for dessert today I had it with a chocolate Vitatop. Heavenly!

I made it as follows:
1 can of chick peas, drained AND peeled (takes a little time, but worth it!)
1/4 cup natural peanut butter
6 Tbsp. pure maple syrup
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
pinch of salt
1/4 cup chocolate chips

Blend all ingredients except chocolate chips in a food processor until very smooth. Then fold in the chocolate chips.  (Makes 8 servings. Per serving:  139 calories, 5 grams fat, 3 grams fiber, 20 grams carbs, 4 grams protein)

I skipped my run today. I hurt my back REALLY badly yesterday. My little brother came over to get a dining set from me, and I helped him carry the table to his truck. As soon as I set it down, I felt this horrible shooting pain through my back. It was so bad that I gasped and cried, and then basically couldn't move at all. I almost went to the ER when I remembered that I had some muscle relaxers, so I decided to try one of those. It helped enough to make me stop crying out in pain every time I moved, but I figured I'd better take it easy. I checked with my doctor (Google) and I'm sure it was a back spasm. Doesn't sound like much, but it hurt like a motherfucker! So I didn't run today, and I'll see how I feel tomorrow.

There's a hurt skunk outside my house right now. I feel bad for it, but I'm obviously not going to get near enough to check out what's wrong with it. It's on the ground, kind of writhing, and dragging itself. I can tell it's hurt. My dad said it might be rabid because it's out in the middle of the day. Keeping my cats inside just in case!

I don't feel like typing out my whole food journal today, but I had 1365 calories.

May 22, 2011

Whiskey Sour

My dreaded size 6 dress
I had such a fun time at the wedding last night!  Our friends Eric and Maris got married. My parents took our kids in the morning, and kept them overnight. Jerry and I got ready for the wedding and then went to the ceremony at 1:00. It was a Catholic ceremony, which is loooong, but it was nice. Then we had a couple hours to kill before going to the reception, so we, along with a large group of our friends, went to a local bar to have some drinks and greasy food. These were all friends of mine from high school, and they are SO MUCH FUN. I always laugh so hard it hurts when I'm with them. I had two margaritas and a beer, half an order of onion rings and a couple of potato skins. Not great eating, but it could definitely be worse.

May 20, 2011

Oh, the horror

I bought a size 6 dress today. When I was losing weight, I was THRILLED when I could first fit into a 6. I felt on top of the world! And today, I felt completely defeated when I bought a 6. I have a perfectly good size 4 dress that I had been planning on wearing to a wedding tomorrow, and low and behold, it no longer fits. I cannot zip it. Just a few months ago, it was TOO BIG to wear, and now it hangs in my closet (still brand new!) waiting to be worn.

May 19, 2011

Spring Training

In case you're wondering, I haven't forgotten my Blogger password to log in or anything--although that WOULD be a good excuse for not writing, huh? No, I've just not been doing so hot at counting calories, and I don't have much to write about. I *did* start Hal Higdon's Spring Training this week though.

Here is the schedule:

I'm kind of excited about it, because it involves a little bit of everything (hills, speedwork, Fartlek, races, long runs, etc). My biggest problem with training schedules is that I skip the strength training. I REALLY need to start doing it!  Anyway, so even though I've not been eating very well, I have still been running.

As for the stray cat... I took him to the vet a couple of days ago. Jerry and I were laughing so hard we almost peed our pants because we had to take Chandler (my 21-lb cat) to update his vaccines, along with the skin-and-bones stray cat for a look-over. I had explained on the phone about the stray. So Jerry and I went in with the cats, him carrying Chandler and me carrying the stray. The woman asked which one was the stray, and Jerry and I laughed so hard we couldn't breathe. Um, Chandler is so fat that he looks like a beach ball with toothpick-legs sticking out. And the stray is so skinny you can see all his bones. Which would YOU think was the stray?!
I mean, honestly, does Chandler look like he's missed a single meal EVER?

Anyway, $150 later, I learned that he is, in fact, a neutered male, MUCH older than 4 years, with terrible teeth; he's negative for feline leukemia and FIV. And he needs a $250 tooth extraction. Ugh! We don't have the money to do that. I know if I take this cat to the pound he'll be put down because nobody is going to adopt a cat that needs surgery right off the bat. And I've tried finding him a home, but with no luck. My kids have pretty much convinced me to keep him, and we've even named him Paolo. (We name our pets after Friends characters... see my About Me page for details on that!) Remember Rachel's boyfriend Paolo from the first season? That's where we got his name.

I just finished reading Ali Vincent's book "Believe It, Be It" and it was really lame. If you don't know her, she won The Biggest Loser a few seasons ago. I was hoping her book would offer some behind the scenes info from the show or at least more of an in-depth look into her life, but it was basically a re-cap of what you saw on TV that season.

Well obviously, I'm running out of things to write about. I'll TRY tomorrow, I REALLY will, to count my calories.

May 15, 2011


I was still stressed out over the cat today (see previous post for that story).  I was trying to decide if we should keep it, and was going over the costs. I decided to check to see if she had a scar to indicate that she had been spayed. My other female cats both have small scars, so I knew what to look for. The cat was very open to letting me poke and prod her, and then I made a shocking discovery...

May 14, 2011

Stray cat

I spent pretty much the whole day today trying to find a home for a stray cat. We found a beautiful Himalayan cat hiding out in our shed about a month ago. I assumed she belonged to someone because she looked well-fed, but when I picked her up, I was shocked at how skinny she was. She felt like a skeleton covered in long fur. I didn't bring her in my house, but I wrote a post on Facebook about her and asked if anyone wanted a cat.

May 13, 2011

The Aftermath

I was finally going to write a blog yesterday, and then blogger was down... so I couldn't. But anyways, tomorrow morning it will have been one whole week since I ran my first half-marathon. I wasn't very sore--Sunday I felt fine, Monday my hips were a little sore, but after that I felt good. On Tuesday, I ran two miles to make sure my legs still worked, and they did :)

I've been feeling really shitty though as far as my sore throat and congestion. I kept feeling worse and worse all week long and today I woke up with a horrible ear ache.

May 8, 2011

500 Festival Mini-Marathon 2011

I just got home from my fourth annual trip to Indianapolis for the half-marathon. I've walked it the past three years, and this year was my first year RUNNING it. It was fantastic!!  Hopefully I can remember all the details (there was a lot of drinking, haha).

May 4, 2011

Nostalgia and pressure

I haven't talked about this with anyone because it sounds kind of crazy. Certain triggers are bringing on nostalgic feelings from when I had my surgery in November. Most people (I'm assuming!) would have bad memories of fainting, severely breaking their jaw, spending 6 days in the hospital, enduring 2 surgeries, and having their jaws wired shut for 6 weeks...right?  MOST people would hate that memory!

However, something about those 8ish weeks made me feel really happy. Sure, it was cool to have lots of attention from my family, and to have people show genuine care about me. But that's not really what the nostalgia is for. It's very hard to explain. I'm starting to think that it's because I actually cared about something OTHER THAN my weight and my size and food. With my broken jaw, I had no choice but to occupy my mind with something else! I couldn't binge when I wanted to--it wasn't an option (well, unless I wanted to binge on Ensure!)

Left to right: my younger brother, Nathan; me; my sister, Jeanie; older brother, Brian; husband, Jerry. (And obviously my two kids lying across us). This was the day I came home from the hospital.
Now, even with all the pain and recovery I went through, I get warm, happy feelings when I think about certain things--such as Spicy Carrot Bisque (my daily lunch during recovery), Oxycodone (my pain med), my black pajamas (my mom bought them for me when I was in the hospital), pumpkin smoothies (my sister made it for me for my Thanksgiving dinner), the corner of my sectional couch (where I spent 90% of my first week home), Lipton black tea (part of my meals in the hospital), a red blanket with sleeves (Jerry got it for me for Christmas), Dr. M (my surgeon who seemed to truly care about me), a little blue dress (my friend Sarah gave it to me at my lowest weight in December; it's a size 4 and it was actually too big to wear at the time).
My Thanksgiving dinner (pumpkin smoothie)

My hospital meals were all the same. Broth, juice, tea, popsicle, jello (I couldn't eat the jello--too solid)

The black pajamas that my mom bought me

Thinking about all those things almost make me wish I could go back and do it all again (ridiculous, I know). It was almost like my whole life stopped and I didn't have to worry about taking care of the house, the kids, driving Eli to school, cooking dinner, paying bills, etc.

I didn't intend for this to be a "deep" post, but now that I'm writing about it, it makes me wonder if maybe I feel nostalgic because people were taking care of ME instead of the other way around. I always feel SO MUCH PRESSURE and STRESS about numerous things in my life--and honestly the main stressor is my weight loss. Ever since so many people found me on Sparkpeople, I get e-mails and messages daily from people saying what an inspiration I am, and how I motivate them, etc. I feel like such a fraud! I'm completely honest in my blog here, but some (probably most) don't read my blog. They just see my before and after pictures and think that I figured it all out and now I'm living my dream.

When I broke my jaw and my life was pretty much put on hold, it was such a relief from all the pressure! Now, every time I put on a single pound, I feel like I'm letting down all the people who say I am an inspiration. I even told my husband that some days, I wish I hadn't lost the weight. When I was fat, nobody expected anything of me. Now, the odds are completely against me keeping all this weight off, and that is at the front of my mind every single day.

Well, I didn't want this to be a "poor me" kind of post at all--and I certainly didn't want to whine! I hope it didn't come across that way.

May 1, 2011

Worst run EVER

Yesterday I did my last long run before my half-marathon next weekend. I was scheduled to do 12 miles. I mapped out the route before I went--drove to a park and left the car for an out & back run. My husband and kids went with me, and they played at the park while I did my run.

It was, by far, the WORST run I've ever had.